!!short STUPID blonde jokes!!!!

Sangre · 24-01-2002 8:27pm #1

How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.

How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.

How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it.

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

How does a blonde moonwalk?
She pulls down her panties and slides her arse along the floor.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

How do you plant dope?
Bury a blonde.

Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
Because he didn't want them ****ting in the streets during parades.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.

Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...

Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.

How do you drown a blond?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.

Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
She was having sunny periods.

How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
They're too hard to peel.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip
cookies?
You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her ankles warm.

What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
Full.

!ask if you want more i've loads!!

BioHazRd · 25-01-2002 8:45am

Nice one

BTW you have a thing for blondes, don't you

Lucifer · 25-01-2002 12:11pm

lol brilliant!!!! i agree, u seem 2 hav a thing for blond jokes!

:D:D

Kraken · 25-01-2002 2:57pm

maye be he is trying to rebel against his blondness it would explain it..

Sangre · 25-01-2002 9:24pm

Originally posted by Kraken
maye be he is trying to rebel against his blondness it would explain it..

For a white person i really couldn't be any less blonde. so do you want the rest of them or what?

BioHazRd · 25-01-2002 9:31pm

You mean you have more ???

Just proves what I said

Keep em comin'

Sangre · 25-01-2002 10:19pm

What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."

What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on
a blonde?
"Space. The final frontier......"

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
She didn't know what ONE came first...

Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.

How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.

How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
The blonde has the higher sperm count.

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a
blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.

Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first.

Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits go in front.

Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a £10 note. Who picks it up?
The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
Butter is difficult to spread.

What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
Branch Manager.

What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A brain tumor.

What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
Two brunettes.

26-01-2002 12:47pm

Originally posted by Kraken
maye be he is trying to rebel against his blondness it would explain it..

nah hes not. Hes just annoyed cos hes short, fat and people in school are convinced that his dad is an 'Asian' Postman....*

*disclaimer:May not actually be true, except for the short and fat bit.

Sangre · 26-01-2002 9:55pm

Originally posted by Jabba

nah hes not. Hes just annoyed cos hes short, fat and people in school are convinced that his dad is an 'Asian' Postman....*

Ohhhhh talk about lashing out i'm not fat and im not short just medium but you're just mad cause you're blonde and have big tits and leave lipstick on the joystick.

26-01-2002 11:47pm

Originally posted by Sangre

Ohhhhh talk about lashing out i'm not fat and im not short just medium but you're just mad cause you're blonde and have big tits and leave lipstick on the joystick.

ph33r the out-lashage. neway u lashed out at me first but i wont get bogged down in that. I'll be the bigger MAN and walk away *walk*walk*walk* (well wtf does walking sound like then?)