Windows ME(tm) the fastest OS for internet gaming!

Hobbes

From another board

Headline: Windows ME(tm) the fastest OS for internet gaming!

Yes, Windows ME(tm) is truly the fastest operating system for internet gaming! A team of dedicated computer scientists at Microsoft(tm) set out to create the first OS ever that would break the theoretical maximum performance an operating system can deliver. Their method: accelerating the performance of the applications themselves using a bold and innovative(tm) new technique called dynamic reeducation(tm).

James Clansy, lead project developer: "When we first started working on dynamic reeducation(tm), we thought it couldn't be done. The performance we wanted was better than if the OS took no time at all. Luckily, we work at Microsoft(tm) where we have access to top research in the field and a big advertizing department."

Mark Jameson, head of PR, "Hey, look at our adds! It says we did it right there. Do you see big glossy adds in the front page of every magazine saying we couldn't do it? I think not!"

Keith Dobson, programmer: "I can't talk much about it or they'll revoke my free Dr. Pepper privilages, but I can tell you that it's quite innovative(tm). The applications simply think they are running faster and that gives us the performance boost we needed."

Steve Balmer, Microsoft(tm) president: "We've been using the reeducation technique on our customers for years to help them understand our benchmarks. This is the first application of this technique onto software however. As you can see from the benchmarks, it was a total success."

Microsoft's(tm) dynamic reeducation(tm) technique boldly accelerates their Windows(tm) product line into the 21st century with higher performance than any other operating system on the market. Just ask Microsoft(tm)!

Baz_

I saw them adds too, it must be true

elexes

right so by using windows me which i am .it will slow my computer to snail pace but some how increase my speed on my isdn line ??? i think not

Hobbes

I see satire is wasted on some people.

Blitzkrieger

don't forget - if you get a pentium 3 as well you can speed up your internet access


The games it works fastest with are probably minesweeper and solitare

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Hobbes:
I see satire is wasted on some people.

lol

dear o dear o dear...

sutty

Ah now Blitz lets get real here, solitare is ment for one person, ther for winME can't speed it up.


I wonder how it works with q3

---

Ciaran Sutcliffe
aka: sutty
[HIV]sutty
For a good time goto:
http://www.hotinternetvirgins.com

Keeks

This should have be posted on the humour board.



[This message has been edited by Keeks (edited 16-10-2000).]

Hobbes

true, true, but I wouldn't of hooked any fish then would I.

Baz_

That was a lucky/stupid (delete as required) fish hooking to be honest though hobbes, tehehe