Motor Bike Security

Supercell

I recently moved into a new apartment, which itself is really nice, but behind it is a a pretty rundown council building .

The enterance into the private carpark runs down a lane just behind that architectural monstrosity and at night its pretty dodgy.

Problem is that the gates in are electronic and stay open for a couple of minutes after a car has buzzed through, there is a beam through the entrance way which one just needs to stand in front of to keep them open..

In the last three weeks heres whats happened so far..

1) my bike lock had superglue (or something similar pored into it) which required a hacksaw and much sweat and cursing to cut through..

2) A week later my flatmates scooter was robbed...grrr (my bike has gears so i presume it wasnt such an attractive target for the fúcking wánkers that nicked it)

3) Almost every morning its apparent that someone has been messing with it, this morning my wing mirrors were almost twisted off..

How much longer before they get bored with petty damage to my bike and start kicking the lights, slashing tires etc?

A friend of mine recommends a bike cover as it hides the bike and is hasstle to remove and also getting a motion alarm. His bike makes a HELL of a racket if its touched.

So tomorrow i get a cover, but today went into a bike shop and asked for an audible alarm for the bike ,but they said my bike (Suzuki AX100) has a 6v battery which wont work.

This is driving me crazy, i really love my bike, it never ever has let me down over the last couple of years i've had it, once when i had it serviced the guy commented that it runs remarkably smoothly and is obviously cared for (it is).

What the hell am i to do? , is there an audable alarm i can get for a bike with a 6v battery or am i búggered?

rymus

you can get a disklock alarm. i.e. attaches to disc as usual but if its moved (even a very very small movement) it makes an unbelievable racket. My sister had one and after setting it off once by accident I couldnt hear properly for a couple of days. thats how powerful it is.

alternatively get yourself a replica handgun or shotgun. I recommend a desert eagle handgun or a spas 12 shotgun. Get blank firing ones cos they look and sound more realistic. When you park in your private spot, walk back up to the gates and stand outside them brandishing the gun until they close safely behind you. Anyone dodgy comes near you, just let off a few rounds in their general direction and they'll not return in a hurry. This leaves your baby perfectly safe and locked up away from those pillocks. Seems a bit extreeme I know, but if I thought someone was going to mess with my bike I would actually beat them to death.. Its my baby.. I cant help it if I'm also psychotic.

Wouldnt the landlord do something about the scum situation? Install guard dogs that shoot bees out of their mouths when they bark at you?

Ohh, and dont let the cops see the replica gun. That'll get you in a whole world of trouble.

Hope my pearls of wisdom have aided you in your quest to protect your bike.

Supercell

Haha rymus, if have considered extreme action...;)

alternatively get yourself a replica handgun or shotgun. I recommend a desert eagle handgun or a spas 12 shotgun. Get blank firing ones cos they look and sound more realistic. When you park in your private spot, walk back up to the gates and stand outside them brandishing the gun until they close safely behind you. Anyone dodgy comes near you, just let off a few rounds in their general direction and they'll not return in a hurry. This leaves your baby perfectly safe and locked up away from those pillocks

However was talking to someone recounting my sorry tale who reccommended the small bikeshop beside Connelly station for cheap big locks.

He was right , they have tohose big mofo chains and locks that usually cost £100 on mountjoy street for £40

I got the next one up(£60)..the fúcking thing is heavy!!.

Still put the cover on..but have the BMF (big motherfúcker) in pain view...
Since then no brain dead fúckwit has messed with my bike..presumably even an amoebae for a brain can see the BMF is not to be messed with.

rymus

excellent, very nice to hear. I know its sad, but I worry about bikes in distress

Glad yours is out of trouble

rymus

Spotted an interesting ad in the paper the other day. Seems that some company (dublin area I presume) will install a ground anchor for you for a coupla hundred squids.

And u know those things couldnt even be moved by a german wrestler woman on human growth hormone so if they want the bike, they'll have to take the footpath too.

Supercell

Update..

Last night the little wánkers burned it.......the fúcking thing was still locked to the pole grrr.

The bike is a complete writeoff...

To rub salt into the wound, i will be paying it off for the next two years on the bank loan.

My insurance ran out last week.

To put things mildly, i am in a very very foul humour :mad:

rymus

alright now im ****ing angry..

just say the word and I'll be up there to bitchslap the mother ****ers. Take a ****in chainsaw to their ****in genitals and then set them on fire (see how they ****in like it). Ferget the police, its vigilante justice time. I dont care how many of them there are - nobody hurts a motorbike and gets away with it.. that **** is just ****ed up.

I am actually dead serious... They cant charge u if nobody see's u do it }:> (and u do a nice clean job on them) I dont normally advocate homocide, but in this case go for it man and if u need help I'm only a post away. Damn repressed queen bitches. I can think of a couple of big hairy bikers that would love to do a number on them for pulling a ****ed up stunt like that.

I'll keep thinking to see if theres any way u can get out of paying back the bank You could murder the sons-o-bitches, plead temporary insanity in the high court and get off with a psychological evaluation and a couple of years in a looney bin. Then ure free to go and dance on their graves/piss on their headstones whichever takes your fancy.

If any of your friends are large blokes you should put serious planning into catching a few of these bastids and opening a crate of whoopass on them. It wont bring your bike back but I guarantee it'll make u feel somewhat better.

Just remember to either
1. deny everything (but have a well laid out plan- martin cahill style) or...
2. plead temporary insanity at the trial and learn some funky dance moves.


(Disclamer - I do advocate nor recommend that any of the above action be taken.. unless you want to)

Supercell

rymus, you know, i am 30 years old, and havent been in a fight since i was around 9 or 10 in primary school, but right now, i honestly think i could completely, do something i would regret....

Which is why i've stayed inside tonight, am getting completly langers..and in a short while i will fall into bed.

Tomorrow i will have a hangover..which will dull any feelings.

But you've put into words my sentiments exactly, indescribable rage, is about i can muster before a red fog fills my head.

Worst this is , its going to have been a bunch of fúcking kids that did it....so i touch any of them..i'm the bad guy.

I will probably drink myself into oblivian for the rest off the week, heh, at least the anger dulls a little that way.

Tomorrow, i suppose i will have to PAY , for someone to take away the burned lump of twisted metal that remains of my bike.

Jesus, i am angry....

Anyhow, thanks for the kind words of support, they are appreciated.