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Darn funny film Quotes
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08-10-2001 2:47pm#1"Army of Darkness"
Ash: Yeah. All right you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a twelve gauge double barreled remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart.
ROFL
or or
"The Great Outdoors"
Roman tucking his freaky twin daughters into bed !
ROMAN: I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing to kids like yourselves. I know that because I had a similar situation with my Uncle Roy and a story he used to tell about a family who went into the woods and was attacked by a band of escaped Army psycho patients, who'd been subjected to violent, hellish torture behavior modification experiments. It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the Army kept them in, found this family in the woods, fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them. Well now that story gave me nightmares not to be believed. So, no more thinking about bears, all right.
LMAO
Need more !0
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Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass, true story, he bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all but the next week he did again, a different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergancy room. So I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. So I say to him, "Jesus, Walt what are you doing? You know you're just going to get this cat stuck up your ass." And he said to me, "Brodie? How else am I going to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
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Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator
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Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun, right through her back. What about her womb, you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
TS: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien for Christssake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonderwoman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom, but that would kill him
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Brodie: My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on this plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane starts spinning around, going out of control, so he figures it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad! So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and they land safely and everyone puts their penises or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?
Brodie: Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
hehe
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Probably the best movie in the world !!
Withnail:
Listen to this. "Curse of the Supermen: I took drugs to win medal says top athlete Jeff Wode."
"In a world exclusive interview, thirty three year old shot putter Jeff Wode, who weighs three hundred and seventeen pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act daft' said his wife. 'He used to pick on me. But now he's stopped,
he's much better in our sex life and in our general life'."
Withnail:
Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Jeff Wode is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about. (Waves the paper at Marwood) Look at him. Look at Jeff Wode. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own.
Imagine the size of his balls. Imagine getting into a fight with the fcuker!
That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Jeff. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Add spice to it. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. (Starts acting out the scene in his head) "I'm going to pull your head off". "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off". "I'm going to pull your head off because I don't like your head."
ROFLMAO 0 -
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