Darn funny film Quotes

Yo Mamma

"Army of Darkness"

Ash: Yeah. All right you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a twelve gauge double barreled remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart.

ROFL

or or

"The Great Outdoors"

Roman tucking his freaky twin daughters into bed !

ROMAN: I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing to kids like yourselves. I know that because I had a similar situation with my Uncle Roy and a story he used to tell about a family who went into the woods and was attacked by a band of escaped Army psycho patients, who'd been subjected to violent, hellish torture behavior modification experiments. It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the Army kept them in, found this family in the woods, fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them. Well now that story gave me nightmares not to be believed. So, no more thinking about bears, all right.

LMAO


Need more !

Vokes

a black man talking to J Lo, in Out of Sight, about the great times he used to have with his dog(now dead):

"...and i gave that bitch what all good bitches want, i gave that bitch a bone. "

thats all i can remember at the moment cos i was watching the dvd last night

azezil

- As Good as it Gets

Secretary asks:
"How do you write women so well"

Jack Nicholson replies:
"I think of a man & take away reason & accountability"

Kali

Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass, true story, he bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all but the next week he did again, a different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergancy room. So I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. So I say to him, "Jesus, Walt what are you doing? You know you're just going to get this cat stuck up your ass." And he said to me, "Brodie? How else am I going to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

--

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator

--

Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun, right through her back. What about her womb, you think it's strong enough to carry his child?

TS: Sure, why not?

Brodie: He's an alien for Christssake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonderwoman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom, but that would kill him

--

Brodie: My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on this plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane starts spinning around, going out of control, so he figures it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad! So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and they land safely and everyone puts their penises or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

Gill: Well, did he cum, or what?

Brodie: Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!


hehe

Karl Hungus

"There are some who would call me... Tim."


"YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLS OF ELDERBERRIES!!! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!"

gandalf

Yep its from Dr. Strangelove and I think it sums up the film quite well.

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

Gandalf.

Manach

From Ghostbusters:
"Ray, when someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES"

"Back off man, I'm a scientist"

"Nobody steps on a church on my town"

Terminator

Life of Brian:

[A line of prisoners files past a jailer.]

Jailer: Crucifixion?
Prisoner: Yes.
Jailer: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each. [Next prisoner.] Crucifixion?
Prisoner 2: Er, no, freedom actually.
Jailer: What?
Prisoner 2: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Jailer: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Prisoner 2: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
Jailer: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...
Prisoner 2: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

swiss

The ugly:
Your mother is a two-dollar whoré. And your father is the son of a thousand fathers all bástards like you.

Yossarian

"He may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is idiot." - Groucho Marxs, Duck Soup.

Otis B. Driftwood: "It's all right, tha-that's in every contract. Tha-that's what they call a sanity clause."
Fiorello: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... you can't fool me. There ain't no sanity clause."

"I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn't have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!" - Jake , The Blues Brothers.

"Listen! You smell something?" - Ray, Ghostybusters.

Yo Mamma

Probably the best movie in the world !!

Withnail:
Listen to this. "Curse of the Supermen: I took drugs to win medal says top athlete Jeff Wode."
"In a world exclusive interview, thirty three year old shot putter Jeff Wode, who weighs three hundred and seventeen pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act daft' said his wife. 'He used to pick on me. But now he's stopped,
he's much better in our sex life and in our general life'."

Withnail:
Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Jeff Wode is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about. (Waves the paper at Marwood) Look at him. Look at Jeff Wode. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own.

Imagine the size of his balls. Imagine getting into a fight with the fcuker!

That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Jeff. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Add spice to it. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. (Starts acting out the scene in his head) "I'm going to pull your head off". "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off". "I'm going to pull your head off because I don't like your head."

ROFLMAO

Belisarius

Every time this thread comes up ive always got one quote , Its a real classic from Full Metal Jacket

"Joker: You know , I wanted to see exotic Vietnam.... Jewel of the Orient . I wanted to meet Intresting Stimulating people of a rich and Ancient culture...and kill them "



and an Ash Classic

"You aint doin Jack , and jack just left town"

Yo Mamma

DUKE HENRY
I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale.
Lord of the Northlands and leader
of its people.


ASH
You ain't leadin' but two things
now, pal. Jack and ****. And Jack
left town.
LOL

EvilGeorge

That girlie from American pie 1 & 2:

"One time at band camp ........ "

Or maybe it falls under start of most annoying passages ever!

BLITZ_Molloy

More Full Metal Jacket.. not word perfect.

"How tall are you private?"

"Five foot nine, sir!"

"Hell! I did'nt know then stacked **** that high. Are you trying to squeeze a few inches in on me private?"

"Sir no sir!"

"Where you from anyway?"

"Sir, Texas, sir!"

"Why only steers and queers come from texas and you don't look much like a steer to me so I guess that narrows it down."

I also like the little scene in one of my fave movies "Falling Down" where the guy in the army store recommends some footwear to Michael Douglas. Can't quote it- you have to see it.

ManWithName

Wayne's World....

"We broke up two months ago!"

"Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?"

"Well, it does actually. That's what breaking up is".

Yo Mamma

Taken from Uncle Buck : the scene where he is freaking out Tias boyfriend called Bug, by showing him his hatchet in the boot of his car ! ROFL

Buck: Fair enough. I like to carry it. You never know when you're gonna need it. You know, a situation might come up, for example, someones been drinking and about to drive a loved one home. Then I like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder... Whiik! The elbow... shave a little meat off the knee cap... Whup! Oooh! You got both knee caps? I like to keep mine razor sharp, too. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why, I've been known to circumcise a gnat. Youre not a gnat, are you Bug? Wait a minute. Bug. Gnat. Is there a little similarity there? Oooh, I think there is!