Leaving the nest... to living alone

LegacyUser

My life is going okish at the moment. I have an alright job and have a few friends. I have 1 brother and 2 sisters. I am the youngest and am the only one still living at home. I'm 24 and male. Its time I left the nest but I'm so afraid of being alone in a house. The people I know that have gone and moved out have all moved in with their partners or friends. I don't have a steady girlfriend and only see my friends at the weekends. My brother and sisters moved out and straight into a house with their partners. I feel like the odd one out

The main reason I'm still living at home is that I have someone to talk to at the end of the day. Is it normal to feel like this....? fear of living alone. I would hate to come back to an empty cold house. It’s killing me, my dad is practically throwing me out the door by telling me about houses for sale in Drogheda, Balbriggan etc.... I know absolutely no one out there

skipn_easy

Why don't you try moving into a house share? These can be really good ways of meeting new people, you're practically guaranteed that there will be someone at home to talk to you when you go home, and if you look carefully you should hopefully end up finding a house and housemates that you can really feel comfortable with.

To be honest, at your age, I would say its a really good idea to leave the nest and experience living somewhere else with housemates if you don't want to be on your own. Its a whole different world when you move in with other people and its worth experiencing. After a while of house sharing, then you might be more inclined to get your own place.

Laguna

Unreg2953 wrote:

It’s killing me, my dad is practically throwing me out the door by telling me about houses for sale in Drogheda, Balbriggan etc.... I know absolutely no one out there

I moved here from another country, I literally knew NO ONE when I came here.

Come on now, you're 24 years of age, did you really think this day would never come?, do you really think you can live with your parents forever?, do you not want your own private space, a place you can call your own?.

Unreg2953 wrote:

The main reason I'm still living at home is that I have someone to talk to at the end of the day. Is it normal to feel like this....?

Well it's common enough for people to want a bit of companionship/intimacy with their girl/boyfriend at your age, but to not want to make the leap to get your own place and spread your wings is uncommon.

Supercell

skipn_easy wrote:

Why don't you try moving into a house share? These can be really good ways of meeting new people, you're practically guaranteed that there will be someone at home to talk to you when you go home, and if you look carefully you should hopefully end up finding a house and housemates that you can really feel comfortable with.

To be honest, at your age, I would say its a really good idea to leave the nest and experience living somewhere else with housemates if you don't want to be on your own. Its a whole different world when you move in with other people and its worth experiencing. After a while of house sharing, then you might be more inclined to get your own place.

Good advice that, living away from home can be a bit scary to think about , but like driving, you soon think this is great!!

Definately don't get your own bedsit starting out (you will be lonely as hell), you definately need to house share judging by your post, view a few houses that give give you your own bedroom (your own space) in a house share, believe me at 24 ..you can have great craic if you move into the right house.

LegacyUser

I lived by myself for a while now and have to say that it has advantages; privacy, free bathroom when you want to use it and generally not having housemates to piss you off, to name a few.

Try a house share. I did it for years as a student (... and it was ten year long student life ) and I don't regret it.

jrey1981

There are plenty of people looking to team up to share a house on daft.ie...you dont have to move in with the first people you meet - you can pick and choose...find people you can go to the pub and have a kickabout in the park with now and then.

I am back living at home after living in halls and then shared houses for 5 years, so there will come a point when I either move out or am kicked out soon - I know it can be a bit daunting...!

LegacyUser

thanks for the helpful advice. I'm looking into moving into shared house. no-ones done it in my family yet, I might give it a go. Just need more info

[Jackass]

I'm in a simular position unreg, and it scares the crap out of me...I'm 22, and know that time is fast aproaching...just need to get a bit of money tucked away.
At the same time though, It's really exciting! Absolute independance...it's the final step of moving away from your family and "being your person" as lame as it sounds..plus I would imagine you can do a lot...hanging out with friends, having nights in etc. ... also i'd imagine it'll have some perks when you get a g/f or have a reletavly sucsesfull night down the pub You'll get to know people in your local anyway.
Invite a friend out the odd time, get chatting to a few people in the pub...try and get friendly with the same faces and it'll get to the stage where you'll know the same old people knocking around. (As long as it's a small local)

Do you get on well with your bro/ sis ...get them to come hangout with you the odd night too.

el Bastardo

C'mon, it's not like you're moving to the moon! Sharing a house allows to meet people that you would otherwise never meet and it offers independence from the parents. I know I was only too keen to leave home and I was a mere 17. Maybe, maybe, you'll even make a few youthful errors of judgement along the way, but you'll learn from them.

iguana

You say your dad is suggesting you buy a house. If you are in a position to do this or your parents are offering to help, why not look into buying a house and then renting out the spare bedrooms.

That way you would have an asset and you would get to choose the people living with you. You would also be in a bit more control than moving into an established share and could set certain ground rules with regards to say smoking or how clean you want the house to be. Obviously it wouldn't work if you tried to lord things over your tenants.

Banks and building societies will take into account your rental income when calculating a mortgage, so it could be possible. I know a couple of people who have done this and it has worked pretty well for them. Though it is generally better not to have friends as tenants as they know you as their mate as opposed to a landlord and may not respect you in that position. One guy actually did this and then moved abroad for work so don't be worried that it would tie you down either.

el Bastardo

Now that you mention it, I remember I workmate telling me that he leased out a house, did it up (with the agreement of the owner) and sub-let the other rooms out, for profit. He got all the landlord hassles if anything went wrong (leaky taps, neighbour problems etc), but he did it for years. I think the profit he made was that he lived there rent-free.