Stupid mistakes

LegacyUser

About a year and a half ago, I was an anti-sociallite. I spent most of the day on the computer, and had little to no confidence or friends, and never had a real girlfriend.

Things dramaticly changed after I switched schools and made a few friends in there. I began hanging around my local town, made a load of friends, found a nice, pretty girl, went to/held sessions, grades went up, felt confident as ever.

Of course, caught up in all that, I did a few stupid things.
The first, is I began smoking,after being against it for so long. My body doesnt seem to like it that much. Im on inhalers, and can fall to the lungs of a 90year long woodpine smoker if I fail to take them. Yet,I dont want to give up. I enjoy them, they've made me a calmer person. But I feel like I'm going to have a premature death if I keep smoking.

Secondly, and the main one..I also endured a long-term relationship, and began living with a girl, over the course of about a year. The relationship went quickly downhill over the last 2 or 3 months..and ended up in a very shakey breakup, due to a severe lack of trust on her part. Sometimes,the relationship was pure hell, and Im glad its over. I fell back onto a friend of mine I'd known and liked for some time, and we started going out. The only problem is, she doesnt seem to have any interest in me at all. At times,its as if she pretends I dont exsist. Weeks can pass without me seeing her. I asked her up to my house on several occasions, and nothing ever came of it.

So myself a few friends stumbled up here, after having a few drinks, on friday night. Amongst them was a friend who kept making jokes about having sex with me. Harmless, I thought. Anyway, as the drink flowed, we ended up kissing. And then retiring to my room, where we had sex. Except, the sex involved another 2 people in the room, and the girl was also a virgin.

And one or two people have already found out about it. Im just waiting for it to go back to my current girlfriend, although she's apparently cheated on me before, certaintly not to the extent of how I did it.

I dont expect too many nice responses here.. Just thought I'd get a load off my mind.

garthv

Well to be honest with you, drunken stuff like that happens all the time. As much of a kick in the nuts that it is, it does happen. There is no point in denying it and trying to forget about it because it did happen. You seem to have everything right on track compared to a few years ago and this situation seems like its gonna knock you off that track. My advice to you would be to confront this straight out so it doesnt end up gnawing at the back of your head and you return to the life you never liked.

bp

why are you with your current girlfriend? she cheats on you, she ignores you and you dont see her for weeks on end?!!???? if you break up with her then if you get drunk and sleep with people you wont be cheating and that is one less stupid mistake to make while drunk!

you can only quit smoking when you are ready for it so you need to sit down and think if its worth it - feeling calmer or having fecked up lungs!

sobriquet

Just thought I'd get a load off my mind.

And no harm in that at all.

If you read back over everything you've stated, you seem to have clarified for yourself all the problems you've got/mistakes you've made. So taking the next step should be fairly clear.

Smoking: Quit. You know it's putting you in worse health, and you know it's something of a comfort blanket - so find something to replace it as a crutch to calm yourselve with. I have no experience of quitting, because I don't smoke, so I can't offer advice there.

Absentee Girlfriend you cheated on spectacularly: Break up. If she has no interest, and even cheated on you, she mightn't mind. You don't seem too keen on it either. (you said you 'liked' her, but then, I 'like' my bike. I'm not trying to be crass, but it's not a resounding enthusiasm is it?) If you get away from this, you can get on with your life, pick yourself up and move on. Is it this straightforward?

Fallout from 4-in-a-bed romp: Will there be fallout? The chick who seemed interest might have interest otherwise, where does it go? Other people know - does this matter at all?

If I'm oversimplifying or causing offense unwittingly, then I apologise, but this is how your situation reads to me.

All the best, whatever happens. I can relate to your situation. I spent my teenage years happily isolated from the world, engrossed in computers and books, and only started getting sociable during college, maybe about 3rd year. It's not easy, and I still find it hard, but it's worthwhile. Makes it a bit trickier to deal with complicated shee-ite that other people seem to sail through though, I know that for certain.

faceman

Difficult to comment on these things when we dont see the big picture. Im presuming ur quite young? Sounds cliched but these things happen. U aint the first and wont be the last dude this happens too. Drunk as u may have been u need to be concious of STI's and the worst STI of them all - pregnancy, if ur fooling around. It doesnt seem too serious with ur current girlfriend so i wudnt worry about her. ALtho i wudnt tell her either, it will make things worse.

Ur nick is stupidmistake. But u will learn from ur mistakes.

Hang in there bro, we all go through similar things so ur not alone. Stay off the smokes tho. Waste of ur money.

the_syco

Stupidmistake wrote:

The only problem is, she doesnt seem to have any interest in me at all. At times,its as if she pretends I dont exsist. Weeks can pass without me seeing her.

When was the last time you saw her? If she comes back, tell her you lost intrest in her, and that you've found someone else.

=-=

Quit the smokes. If you're on an inhaler, the worst thing you want is to cough like someone with "the lungs of a 90year long woodpine smoker" happen when having sex with a girl. Not only will it freak her out, but it'll also mean less, if any, sex.