the picture not taken

ctrl-alt-delete

The picture not taken


I can see it now, as clear as the first drop of rain,
The colours carving contours into my soul,
Like a dream I’m lost unless I’m awakened,
Like a dream I have lost all sense of control.

The reason I did not commit to film lies in that,
Destiny’s mirror reflects the future not the past,
The reason I did not commit to film lies in that,
I was always the cursed first one to come last

Just for now I’ll leave the picture hanging,
Hanging in the frame of my jilted mind,
Tilted just a little to destroy the perfection,
Like the perfect plan that conquered troy.


thanks for reading, thoughts appreciated

Dragan

I'm assuming that you are hinting at rather than just dealing with something painful to you by removing it from your mind and not thinking about it you have "hung" it in a place of pride and think about it often.

From the writing i cannot find the reason why, i.e. is it to remind yourself of the pain and keep your sorrow/hate alive, or is it to try and keep you strong and remind you that you got over something bad?

I'm assuming that someone has done something to you that colours your view of all your memories with them "Tilted just a little to destroy the perfection".

I like it , the last line sort of blew it for me, almost like you had to resort to a weird cliche to say what you had been saying so well. I understand that in your mind the pain you now feel was almost accepted in by you in the guise of something better................. not knocking the line, just giving honest feedback.

ctrl-alt-delete

thanks for the feedback, you are right in most of what you are saying, i suppose if you get anything from a poem you are right,

mainly its about a vision i had of someone, but as i got to know them, the pictures didnt match. in a sense i want to forget about the real picture and keep my fake one, but i have to remind myself that i have covered it up and not to get fooled again,

i think

Dragan

A ha, now I see.........yeah it's tough sometimes when people don't turn out to match the image we make of them.

Nirina

ok, i very much like this. it is extremely good. such great words used, and the message is really clear. this is top-notch work! keep it up please

lilmissprincess

Been there...great work, it shows the emotion perfectly...nobody is what they seem..

Hagar

I've used all those words before but they never turned out like that.
You seem to have a gift. Enjoy it. Share it.

smelltheglove

great stuff ger..but who is this mysterious person you speak of lol....and also i agree with hager you have a gift and you should share it and possibly even make a living out of it because this is only a snippet of the stuff you have written and im sure these fine people would love to read the many hundred poems you have written in their own time...great stuff again!! more more more!

4Trouble

The last verse was my favourite (especially "Hanging in the frame of my jilted mind") because of the clever use of words and also because it conjured the most vivid pictures in my head. Very enjoyable read, keep it up!:)