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Newbie Survivalist Guide
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20-09-2001 11:57am#1From research gained in the admin forum, by the gracious sacrafice of all respect, intellegence, and yes even a rhombus, Relative has highlighted an important aspect of the boards that must be explain to newbies (myself included).
Any advice for this new online guide?
I was thinking with starting with, don't insult ppl with more stars than you, esp if they flash
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- Try not to have an opinion until you can find someone with less stars then you?
- amp test occasionally.
- Ban Castor Troy.
- Don't point out the joke about WWMan being in charge of a forum called "Work".
- Devore is like a sleeping bear. Takes a lot to annoy but once you have him woken him it is best to run.
- Don't post crap on the Humanities board (try after hours first).
- Stay out of certain boards unless you have reason to be there (eg. CTYI).
- Those people who have no registered date could care less about stars, post counts or how important you think you should be.
- try not to "Hack teh planet!" on the security board. There is always someone there l44ter then you.
- Don't talk about BH on CounterStrike forum.0 -
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Yellum wrote:
Is there a conspiracy to get me writing FAQ? I'm already doing the Open ones this weekendAlis is good at doing faqs, she could do it !
I think I'm safe from being given the task of doing this community's FAQ though. The Clique would never leave such an important task to a newbie like myself 0 -
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Some more:
- NEVER write anything and expect that Hobbes will not read it within thirty seconds of posting.
- Amp test for at least five minutes every morning and night, and after meals.
- Remember that even WWM was once a newbie muppet who played Q2 in software mode. Blonde hair and rugby top photos can be found, try dearching google for "Kinky Male Lolita". (Bonus points for in joke).
- Anything more than 10 smilies in your post, and chances are that it's complete drivel.
- Never trust a moderator who has a registration date. They are newbies and muppets. If you weren't playing Quake on-line at least 2 or 3 years ago, than you were either A) Not on-line, making you a newbie, or
A Muppet who was too busy using his bandwidth to download Donkey Bondage Porn.
- Ignore anything posted by Castor Troy. He has deep rooted anger issues, stemming from years of abuse suffered as a Q2 player.
- Ignore anything posted by Trojan. He's pissed as a fart most of the time.
- Remember that 90% of CS players are under 14 years of old, male, and pumped full of pubic hormones. Flames about Buffy are to be posted at your peril.
- Remember that 90% of Quake players are twice as old, twice as sarcastic, and sneer at CS players for playing a pansy game. (But play it themselves).
- Remember that Quake players own CS players big time. This is easy to prove. Take a good CS player, give him choice of teams, $16,000, and his choice of map. Give a Quake player no money, RA, RL and Quad. See who wins.
- Stars work the same way they did in primary school, more means smarter. Twinkley ones mean much better. (CS players should have little difficulty in remembering primary school).
- Cool avatars, Stars or post count doesn't matter squat to a "Jan 1970".
- Don't fret if either MindPhuck or Devore post dramatic resignations, detailing how sick they are of whiners and moaners. This is a common occurance, and helps the rest of us to appreciate them more.
- Steer clear of Zero, he has an unhealthy obsession with mullets. It's sad really.
- It takes maybe a hundred intelligent posts to be considered a respected member of the community, but only one bad one to be branded a muppet for all eternity.
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- NEVER write anything and expect that Hobbes will not read it within thirty seconds of posting.
Also never get into a heated debate it just goes on and on and on some like the enigiser bunny- Don't fret if either MindPhuck or Devore post dramatic resignations, detailing how sick they are of whiners and moaners. This is a common occurance, and helps the rest of us to appreciate them more.
Also dont tell MindPhuck to F u c k off back to CS on the quake board
I take this as a personel insult I have a reg date but I was playing Quake over 2-3 years ago (AFAIK I just missed not getting a reg date)- Never trust a moderator who has a registration date. They are newbies and muppets. If you weren't playing Quake on-line at least 2 or 3 years ago, than you were either A) Not on-line, making you a newbie, or A Muppet who was too busy using his bandwidth to download Donkey Bondage Porn.
[note] I was going to put in 11 smiles but it wont let you- Anything more than 10 smilies in your post, and chances are that it's complete drivel.
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Drivel Drivel
Oh ya and one final thing if you ever get stopped by the Garda and get asked the question "Do you know why we stopped you?" Always answer "Because you could'nt catch the Celica" 0 -
That's unfair to pissed farts everywhere Rob...
- don't mention *that* bottle of whiskey
- don't mention how Ronan nearly got it shut down in 98
- don't call Jan 1970ers by their quake name, you should know their real one
-don't complain that you "just missed" a Jan 1970 date, we all know that you're a newbie
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