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I hear it makes you play faster

Doctor J · 2005-10-26 21:47:25

This is as pure as instrument comedy gets :D

26-10-2005 9:47pm

#1

Doctor J

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This is as pure as instrument comedy gets

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#2 26-10-2005 9:51pm

Keyzer

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What the hell was he trying to do?

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#3 26-10-2005 9:58pm

Doctor J

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#4 26-10-2005 10:41pm

Keyzer

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What a knob....

Whats it supposed to do anyway?

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#5 26-10-2005 11:11pm

John

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It looks like he got a blind monkey to chisel it

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#6 27-10-2005 12:08am

dabhoys

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Some people mite call it art. It's like when instruments go bad II..

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#7 27-10-2005 12:31am

Rustar

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Keyzer wrote:

Whats it supposed to do anyway?

Supposed to make you play like Yngwie or John McLaughlin.

Actually, it gives you the ability to bend in different ways, microtonally, so to speak, and since there's no friction between you and the fingerboard, you just might go faster. They say it takes a real light touch, though.

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#8 27-10-2005 12:32am

Oeneus

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Christ! Didn't he think of looking at an example to start off with? That's insane!

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#9 27-10-2005 5:54am

Kenny_D

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What a fool. Looks like he used a spoon to scallop it

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#10 27-10-2005 8:05am

Fusion251

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If only playing faster was as easy as a primary school carpentry class ehh?
Wouldn't we all be happy?
Nope! We'd be modifing the guitars to make us play slower!!!

hahahaha
Fusion

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#11 27-10-2005 9:22am

fish-head

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It's horrible!! MY EYES!!

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#12 27-10-2005 10:31am

jcoote

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what an ass!!!! cheers doc

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#13 27-10-2005 11:35am

mickymg2003

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People like him shouldn't be allowed to own guitars!!!Disgrace!

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#14 27-10-2005 2:53pm

Quattroste

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He's gotta be taking he piss. He has to be. I don't believe it.

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#15 27-10-2005 2:56pm

Doctor J

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Quattroste wrote:

I don't believe it.

The 5 pages of abuse he got make me believe it's real

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#16 27-10-2005 3:52pm

mc nuggets

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He has to be insane. I mean come on. He might have been trying to be funny. ****ing eegit. There are some very odd people out there.

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#17 27-10-2005 5:46pm

Rustar

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Ahem....uhhh...don't want to admit anything here, but when I was 18, I worked at Guild guitars. I 'borrowed' some extra Schaller tuning machines, figuring I was going to replace the strip-type tuning machines that were on my early-60's Gibson ES-125.
So I drilled 3 holes on one side, then realized I'd pretty much ruined the guitar.

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#18 28-10-2005 12:56pm

Paladin

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It is suspiciously like a troll. Still very amusing:)

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#19 28-10-2005 3:11pm

-=al=-

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i scalloped my own neck on a strat from 12th up and i it is easier to play! + its alot more fun too, take sa bit to get used too, but i like it, bending is easier fretting is easier it doesnt necessarly make u play faster it makes u play easier which and help play faster...... but u do need to play cleaner, so it helps in that way, but its fun i like it, od consider gettin it on my guitar in teh future

+ i seen those pics before! he used a screwdriver or somethin as far as i remember

its a pain in teh arse doing it by hand i used some files and sandpaper i got in atlantic homecare! took ages

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#20 28-10-2005 3:19pm

Doctor J

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The faster thing is a bit of an in-joke, check this out

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#21 28-10-2005 3:52pm

feylya

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He used one of those mini sander thingies, similar to a dremel IIRC. Ah, the old "I can't believe it's not Yngwie!" thread...

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#22 28-10-2005 7:39pm

It wasn't me!

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I love that thread, was just thinking about it the other day actually...

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#23 28-10-2005 8:54pm

Steoob

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whats the theory behind scallpoping anyway.. in a nut shell

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#24 28-10-2005 9:24pm

It wasn't me!

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Basically, the wood under the string becomes further away, so you can't slip off the string on the wood, so you can get as better grip on the string for big vibrato and bends.

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#25 28-10-2005 9:25pm

Doctor J

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Basically you have more room to get your fingers under the strings while bending or doing vibrato or whatever. Like having really, really big frets.

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#26 28-10-2005 9:28pm

Steoob

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and what was the thing i hear about not having to press down on the string to play a note when you have scalloped fretboard.. that was obviously a lie was it

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#27 28-10-2005 9:30pm

Doctor J

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Just someone who didn't fully grasp the concept of what they were talking about

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#28 28-10-2005 9:46pm

It wasn't me!

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That's putting it mildly Doc.

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#29 28-10-2005 9:50pm

Doctor J

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I'm in an exceptionally polite mood

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#30 28-10-2005 10:07pm

Steoob

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lol right...

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#31 28-10-2005 10:26pm

It wasn't me!

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Heh, can't say it wasn't amusing as fuxk though, eh Doc?

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#32 28-10-2005 11:23pm

Ancient1

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Steoob wrote:

whats the theory behind scallpoping anyway.. in a nut shell

IT MAKES YOU PLAY FASTER, DUMBASS!

(Ancient1 made a joke.)

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#33 28-10-2005 11:24pm

-=al=-

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the theory behind the scalloping thing was older guitar like instruments beofre guitars, i forget the name of them yada yada,

but they had no way of putting the metal frets we use now on guitar onto the wood,

so they just carved out dips in the wood instead, something along those lines anyyways

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#34 29-10-2005 8:47am

feylya

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It was a lute I do believe.

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#35 29-10-2005 11:52am

Niall123

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Still it'd be good for fat fingers.

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#36 29-10-2005 11:54am

feylya

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How do you figure?

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#37 30-10-2005 4:41pm

mickymg2003

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Ywingwie got the idea to scallop his fretboard when he came across a lute while working in a music shop. Just a random piece of information if anybody cares!! I might buy a €66 rockson guitar and go crazy with a file and see how it turns out. Can u scallop the fretboard on a bass?

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#38 30-10-2005 4:43pm

feylya

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Of course you can scallop a bass. Billy Sheehan has his upper frets half scalloped (only under the D and G strings)

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#39 30-10-2005 8:00pm

-=al=-

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he sure does he also has some led's in there :cool: i seen em.... 2 feet away :D

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#40 30-10-2005 8:02pm

feylya

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Did you get his plec? I did

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#41 30-10-2005 11:30pm

Mystic Fibrosis

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Ye bastid. I was up in the seats

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#42 01-11-2005 11:47pm

gucci

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well i guess he can use it to store is change in if he cant make any music with it anyway!! loser

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#43 02-11-2005 12:28am

-=al=-

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feylya wrote:

Did you get his plec? I did

Quiet you....

BUT i did get vai's plec after i held evo... ......and before i licked it

:cool:

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#44 02-11-2005 8:25am

feylya

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Mmm, Vai sweat

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#45 02-11-2005 10:02am

Ancient1

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feylya wrote:

Mmm, Vai sweat

I hear it makes you play faster.

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#46 02-11-2005 10:21am

feylya

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That brings all sorts of disturbing images to my brain...

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#47 02-11-2005 4:53pm

-=al=-

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