i REALLy dont get this...

LegacyUser

Regular poster, too embarassed and stuff.. sorry

ok, so here's teh story. Girl (me) meets boy (him) on a saturday. they hit it off, he walks her home, they kiss. he takes number. he calls her sunday morning and she goes to see him where he works as a chef. they arrange to meet up that night for drinks.

drinks are highly enjoyable, they kiss, he txts, all going well. they meet every night except for one all week. she gets new job, he comes over cooks her dinner, brings champagne. he does all the running, seems v keen, calls and txts to say goodnight after walking her home, both enjoy each others company, nice and easy going, taking it slow.

she goes away for the weekend. send him txt msg's to say hi. no reply. he's not answering his phone. wont contact her at all. he gets seen in the pub, out with friends.

seriously, wtf? im in my mid 20's, hes in his early 30's. i would've thought he was a bit old for that malarky. fairly sure i didn't say anything horrible, and last i saw of him he was kissing me goodnight.

any bright ideas to explain this??

rick_fantastic

maybe he had his fone on silent and didnt want to bother you when u were away with ur mates or whatever.

maybe he had no credit? maybe he's busy?

i mean if hes out with his mates and doesnt answer u he doesnt want to talk to u. ur not joined at the hip ya know....

maybe he lost his phone?

Victor

Is he OK / safe?

alfa147

maybe hes getting bored that you havent put out yet? not being bad but some blokes get bored of the chase quickly.

your abit younger so he might be after one thing... other than that he could have some stuff going on behind the scenes.

LegacyUser

rick_fantastic wrote:

maybe he had his fone on silent and didnt want to bother you when u were away with ur mates or whatever.

maybe he had no credit? maybe he's busy?

i mean if hes out with his mates and doesnt answer u he doesnt want to talk to u. ur not joined at the hip ya know....

maybe he lost his phone?

fair enough, but why go from texting me twice, three times a day to nothing in a few days? why act so keen and then just stop? just seems a bit rude tbh!!

and alfa147, i'm on the later side of my mid-20's there's only a few yrs between us, and he never pushed it, so i genuinely dont think thats it.

I dont get it at all!!

Canis Lupus

Maybe he couldn't be arsed. God knows I get pissed off with texts.

Call him and ask, simple solution really.

alfa147

well yeah so am i but as ive heard lads in there mid 30's treat girls different who are younger.

well i know i treat 19-20yr olds alittle different as i know i have alittle bit more experience than them.

i dunno tbh, it sounds like a weird one. id say leave it off for a couple of days till he texts you.

if he doesnt hes not worth the hassle.:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Canis Lupus wrote:

Maybe he couldn't be arsed. God knows I get pissed off with texts.

Call him and ask, simple solution really.

tried to, rang out!!

so texted him and asked him what the story was. guess what? no answer....

[Jackass]

too-shy wrote:

seriously, wtf? im in my mid 20's, hes in his early 30's. i would've thought he was a bit old for that malarky

too-shy wrote:

why act so keen and then just stop? just seems a bit rude tbh!!

Maybe it's because you're stuck up? Or a bit of a priss? That's how it comes across to me...How dare he not like me!

Get over it, maybe he got sick of your nagging, maybe your bossy, maybe he made a big effort with you and tried to have an adult relationship...but spent the whole time texting and trying (and failing) to get in your pants, as though he's 16 ... Maybe that's the malarky he's getting to old for?

I don't know...But when you get a chance to talk to him ask him...but for whatever reason, it appears to me he's just lost interest...

LegacyUser

DubGuy wrote:

Maybe it's because you're stuck up? Or a bit of a priss? That's how it comes across to me...How dare he not like me!

Get over it, maybe he got sick of your nagging, maybe your bossy, maybe he made a big effort with you and tried to have an adult relationship...but spent the whole time texting and trying (and failing) to get in your pants, as though he's 16 ... Maybe that's the malarky he's getting to old for?

I don't know...But when you get a chance to talk to him ask him...but for whatever reason, it appears to me he's just lost interest...

i think that's being a little unfair. i dont think i'm stuck up, and if i'm priss for not putting out after a week, then so be it. if he doesn't like me, then fine, it just would've been nice for him to have told me and not just ignored me.

the_syco

too-shy wrote:

he does all the running

Erm, maybe you should do some runing yourself. A relationship whereby he does all the work may not last all that long.

Or, he may be out with the lads, and does the right thing: leave the mobile at home. Its sweet, but texting every 2 minutes to the other half when your out with the boys is not on.

dundalk cailin

he seemed to be into you, cant see why that would have changed. maybe he thought he should play it cool for a while to see if ur still interested?

Femelade

DubGuy wrote:

Maybe it's because you're stuck up? Or a bit of a priss? That's how it comes across to me...How dare he not like me!

Get over it, maybe he got sick of your nagging, maybe your bossy...

thats a bit much, none of us know this girl, so comments like that are uncalled for tbh.
to the OP, sorry to hear it, the same has happened me.
it certainly is strange, it is soo simular to what happened me...everything was grand and then nothing....its such a horrible thing to do to someone, some guys are just like that i guess,
or do you have any enemies or something that could fill this guy's ears with sh!t about you? just a thought....

alfa147

i dunno, u dont sound like a priss just some one who feels rejected after being hurt.

i dunno maybe u thought this guy would have been more than a short-time score.. i guess weve all been there hoping someone will be something there not.;)

cheer up and move on id say.

solas

alpha147 wrote:

well i know i treat 19-20yr olds alittle different as i know i have alittle bit more experience than them.

there was me thinking you were 16..go figure.

to the OP, sounds like he's taken your "weekender" personally and feels offended that he wasn't included. Just a guess.

Beruthiel

solas wrote:

to the OP, sounds like he's taken your "weekender" personally and feels offended that he wasn't included. Just a guess.

she knew him for just one week, how could he possibly have taken her weekend away personally?

solas

y'know how men are.

on a serious note, she does describe him as being serious about the relationship, maybe he was falling in love. Maybe he is insecure because of past relationships, maybe he felt that her going away for a weekend signalled a lack of interest on her part.

Les_Paul

bunny boiler

Zulu

too-shy wrote:

tried to, rang out!!

so texted him and asked him what the story was. guess what? no answer....

all this is after a week? It seems a bit excessive. Ring, leave a message or a text and leave it be. He's probably a little concerned. If you get upset like this after a week, what will you be like after a month?

And in fairness, he's in his thirties, he calls over, cooks dinner with a bottle of champers, he dosen't stay over?!? I'd say he's sick of the effort to honest.

ando

sounds like he's just lost interest and isn't enough of a man to deal with the situation and so decided to chicken out and use the old reliable ignore treatment

bragan

ah that has happened to me as well, but i have to say, i have also done that. don't want to bring you down here, but maybe he just wasn't sure if he was interested or not, and it took him a bit to realise it just wasn't there for him. sorry, i know that's mean, but i know that has happened me a few times. you think you like someone, but your not 100% sure, so you see them a few times until you know for sure, either way.

Or maybe it is just something innocent like some of the other people said. it is really rude to not reply or anything though. He could at least let you know what the story is.

hope you find out what happened:)

LegacyUser

Zulu wrote:

all this is after a week? It seems a bit excessive. Ring, leave a message or a text and leave it be. He's probably a little concerned. If you get upset like this after a week, what will you be like after a month?

And in fairness, he's in his thirties, he calls over, cooks dinner with a bottle of champers, he dosen't stay over?!? I'd say he's sick of the effort to honest.

tbh, it surprised me too how it was all happening very fast. yes, a week is a short time, but i was taking his lead, he was the one who wanted to see me every night.

he's a chef, that's why he wanted to cook me dinner, to say congrats on the new job. it was actually very refreshing that he didn't try and push it. just coz a bloke makes you some tea, doesn't mean its a ticket into the bedroom.

yeah, i guess its just one of those things. suppose i'm glad it happened now and not down the line when i could really get hurt. oh well, just a shame when i really thought he was one of those elusive 'nice guys' that we hear about from time to time . thanks everyone

AARRRGH

Yeah, he's obviously a wanker (assuming you are being honest with us.)

Better to know now than later.

...

And stop trying to figure out why he's acting weird. I'll tell you why he's acting weird: he's a psycho. Simple as that. Forget and move on!

lazydaisy

Forget about him. He's a loser. A guy who's in his thirties and not mature enough to tell a woman he's not interested isn't worth a second thought. Move on and find someone worth your time. I'd say he hooked up with someone during the weekend he was in the pub with his friends and can't deal with telling you.

tj-music.com

too-shy wrote:

oh well, just a shame when i really thought he was one of those elusive 'nice guys' that we hear about from time to time . thanks everyone

Sounds like he spoiled it for the rest of us in our 30's

dundalk cailin

its only her and anyone she tells and anyone who this has ever happened to who'll think that...??

Jesper

Stop being crazy. The lot of ye!!!
One Week. One Week.
Thats nothing! you need a slap across d face with reality! Relax. Your gone about this all wrong. What people forget is that there is always another option!!! DO NOTHING! It works when it should.
You've probably gone to far already. Leave him the message saying what ever dribble you want. Job done. If he replies go from there. Don't be freaking out that he went out without you after ONE WEEK!

g'em

Jesper wrote:

Don't be freaking out that he went out without you after ONE WEEK!

I don't think thats what this is about. personally i agree that at that age, both of them should be mature enough to talk about whats going on. dropping someone with no explanation is a bit juvenile. and so what if its just a week? if they saw eachother every day thats a pretty intense way to get to know someone.

sometimes these things happen, blaming anyone won't help. Girls confuse guys just as much as the other way round. leave it be, and get on with it. you're better off without if he can't handle and adult relationship.

Beruthiel

Les_Paul wrote:

bunny boiler

banned
B

Victor

Les_Paul wrote:

bunny boiler

I just got a complaint about this "This was uncalled for.", but to be honest your comment is, well, confusing. JKust how does the OP deserve this comment?

PrettyKitty

It's a sad fact of life that men (and women) do things like this.

The only way you will ever find out the truth is when you get to speak to him - if this happens.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Believe me, this has happened to sooooo many people (me included) and it will go on happening. It's human nature unfortunately. There are people who can't face up saying 'thanks but I don't want to take it any further'.

Keep your chin up and chalk it up to experience. There are some lovely guys out there - just keep looking!!

angelfire9

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was"

Emmo

Wait and see, maybe something happend that you dont know about.

Perhaps one of his mates needed him to talk. Out of credit. Phone not working properly?

Dont just jump into conclusions and fly of the handle.

As the Dude once said,

New **** is coming to light, lot of ins, lot of outs.

Emmo

dundalk cailin

Any news OP?

shakaman

I hate to say this but did you know this guy before hand/know anything about his background?.......looks distinctly like a guy who was already in a relationship and the wife and kids/girlfriend has returned from a weeks holiday.

Enii

shakaman wrote:

I hate to say this but did you know this guy before hand/know anything about his background?.......looks distinctly like a guy who wass already in a relationship and the wife and kids/girlfriend has returned from a weeks holiday.

Exactly what I was thinking!!!!

Chucky the tree

Victor wrote:

I just got a complaint about this "This was uncalled for.", but to be honest your comment is, well, confusing. JKust how does the OP deserve this comment?

Since the guy is banned i will answer for him.


The girl texted him repeatedly when he didnt answer. Now ask any fella or even girl that if they only know someone for a week and they text you a few times when you dont reply that is very desperate.

Then she goes on to ring him when he doesnt answer the texts. Thats why the girl comes across as very desperate/stalkerish/bunny boiler.

Jesper

Yep she is defo coming on way to strong! Still understand why she is upset but she needs to relax. One week be it good or bad isn't enough to be this worked up about. If it was me I'd gladly spend 3-4 nights of a week seeing a girl I just met but still if she freaked out when she saw me out without her I'd be backing away thinking nice week but bunny boiler.
Still OP would like to know how it went. See am I on the button.

AARRRGH

angelfire9 wrote:

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was"

I don't actually think that works!

I would imagine if a girl stopped ringing me to see if I'll come back to her and be hers, I'd be...afraid.

LegacyUser

dundalk cailin wrote:

Any news OP?

well, i never did hear from him!!! but have to say, I agree I probably did come on a little strong, but then, here was a guy who was buying me champagne after knowing me for three days!!! so takes two....

don't think there was any wife/ kids- at least didn't see any evidence of it at the house.

think its clearly a case of him just not being interested, but it would have been nice for him to have the guts to say it to me

and just to really put a spin on it... I met someone at the weekend (trust me, its a feast or a famine, and its been a famine for a long time, so let me enjoy it!!!). Absolultey lovely guy, great to talk to, good fun, keen... but... and there's always a but... there's no 'chemistry' if that makes sense. So, after ranting like a looney last week I'm going do the honourable thing and gently tell him I don't think it'd work out.

(That *is* the right thing to do isn't it??!?)

DublinWriter

too-shy wrote:

well, i never did hear from him!!! but have to say, I agree I probably did come on a little strong, but then, here was a guy who was buying me champagne after knowing me for three days!!! so takes two....

FFS he's a chef...champagne he can buy wholesale!

Seriously, a week. Sounds like one of those 'firework' things to me. Very intense at the start then quickly fizzles out.

too-shy wrote:

and just to really put a spin on it... I met someone at the weekend (trust me, its a feast or a famine, and its been a famine for a long time, so let me enjoy it!!!). Absolultey lovely guy, great to talk to, good fun, keen... but... and there's always a but... there's no 'chemistry' if that makes sense. So, after ranting like a looney last week I'm going do the honourable thing and gently tell him I don't think it'd work out.

(That *is* the right thing to do isn't it??!?)

Yep, and we look forward to seeing his "I really dont get this...." post on here too.