Too late in college year to make friends?

LegacyUser

Going unreggy for this. I started a course in UCD with a big class in September, but after registration I got really sick and missed all the Freshers madness and only went back to college today. Trouble is, I dont know anyone in my class at all! They all seem to have formed little groups and I would feel weird 'intruding' if you know what I mean. So basically is it too late to go up to random people in my class and say "Hi, hows it going, Im x" ? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

de5p0i1er

Just go out to a few student events at the weekend and you'll meet a few ppl there that you can talk to, I don't even go to college and I made friends with a load of the local students just by meeting them in a smoking area of a night club or a bar. Most students are pretty laid back and outgoing, its not that hard to start talking to them.
Good Luck.

Zombrex

One2Uniflu wrote:

Going unreggy for this. I started a course in UCD with a big class in September, but after registration I got really sick and missed all the Freshers madness and only went back to college today. Trouble is, I dont know anyone in my class at all! They all seem to have formed little groups and I would feel weird 'intruding' if you know what I mean. So basically is it too late to go up to random people in my class and say "Hi, hows it going, Im x" ? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Not really, my undergrad course didn't start to mix properly till 3rd year :-)

It is still very early in the college experience, most people get into the first groups they can cause they don't know people, but these groups aren't stead fast, as people get to know each other the groups change and fluxuate. The groups you see in 4th year will be different than the ones in the first week of 1st year.

Give it ago, maybe get chatting to someone sitting beside you. If they blank you or are too interested in their own little group, well then they are probably immature idiots anyway. the longer you leave it the more arkward you are going to feel about doing it.

rainbow kirby

If you've got a class society, maybe try joining that? Or if there's coffee mornings going on, go to them.
Out of curiosity, is it Arts or Science or something big like that you're in?

ballooba

You'll have to develop a strategy as to where you sit in lectures. If an opportunity to talk to the person beside you arises then grab it. If you do get talking to someone then don't latch onto them like a rabid dog. Make sure to remeber their name though and greet them when you see them.

Remember, slowly, slowly catch your monkey. Keep putting yourself around and you will eventually find someone who will bring you into a group that you click with.

That's my 2c.

440Hz

Wicknight wrote:

Not really, my undergrad course didn't start to mix properly till 3rd year :-)

Same here. I was in a class of over 200 in first year, and noone really knew each other. A lot of people had friends in other courses from home and they mostly stuck together. The friends I made in first year were the people I lived with. It was not until 3rd year that I met any mates in my course, and it was worth the wait. One of the lads I met in 3rd year is still one of my best mates in the world. We met on a class party in 3rd year. I knew all the people in my class to see but nobody starting mixing until the end of second year/start of third year. You have plenty of time yet... Join a society if there is one that takes your fancy... and yeah do just walk up to people... I moved universities when I did my masters and while I am actually a fairly shy person I made a promise to myself on my first day that I would get over myself and just walk up to people... I did, and made some great mates. Everyone in first year is in the same boat as you, and they will appreciate you making the effort. It might seem like people all have their little groups by now, but believe me they dont.. they only know each other a few weeks, and there is ALWAYS room for one more. Go for it, and enjoy!!

audge

It is not too late, its never too late, are you in any clubs or socs? cos they would be the obvious choice of friends, ppl with similar interests.........
Just site next to someone and ask a questions, can be anything, from what lecture have we got next, to, was the freshers ball any craic, I missed it cos I was sick................etc
They are people, just like you, not monsters, just relax, you will make friends in no time!

Victor

You're surrounded by 17-19 year olds? They are all desperate not to be rejected and will pretty much talk to anyone. You should be able to fit in no problem.

ferdi

Victor wrote:

You're surrounded by 17-19 year olds? They are all desperate not to be rejected and will pretty much talk to anyone. You should be able to fit in no problem.

thats sheit, do you really think all 17-19 y.o.s are this insecure?

Victor

I was

On an underlying level we all do it, but as we get older we get more sceptical.

arbeitsscheuer

Victor wrote:

I was

Ditto.

Also ditto to what someone said about the class not mixing until he was in 3rd year. I'm in 3rd year now, and I only know 10-15 ppl out of a class of... Ooh... maybe a hundred?

Most of the peeps I know in college are just ppl I met outside the Arts cafe, known as the Dept. of Lung Cancer. Smoking, the social saviour. Not that I'm recommending that you start if you don't smoke or anythin...

But relax, tutorials (if u hav them) are the best place to just say hi, how's it going, college is sh*t innit, etc etc... Ppl are nicer than u think.

dundalk cailin

i came over to france to do my 3rd yr, i went in the 1st day ,and everyone knew each other from last yr, it was so dauntin, but then i got talkin to 2 girls, i know how u feel, but people ur age will talk to u, as audge suggested just talk to the person next to u. back at home the people in the 1st week i talked to, are not even in the course anymore! people make friends as the year progresses, for the first whiel they bunch together cos they dont know anyone

Sangre

October too late? Are you mad? MAD?
My God, you hardly make any friends in freshers because its so mad and a lot people do it with old friends.

Go to the parties, invite people to drink in yours, talk to everyone in lectures and outside.
The classic 'im going for lunch, wanna come?'

Dont expect people to make friends with you.

[Jackass]

I only met some friends in freshers...Loads/most of people I hung around with in college i didnt get to know at all different stages of college....half way through 1st year..2nd or 3rd year...some people didnt come out of their shells untill 3rd year...

What im saying is college is such a social place groups are always wide open to people joing and leaving.

Wont you have halloween ball? rag week? and you'll meet people in lectures..go to bar with them and meet more people...plus you can join societys...you'll make loads of mates and you can do it at any stage of college

Tar.Aldarion

One2Uniflu wrote:

Going unreggy for this. I started a course in UCD with a big class in September, but after registration I got really sick and missed all the Freshers madness and only went back to college today. Trouble is, I dont know anyone in my class at all! They all seem to have formed little groups and I would feel weird 'intruding' if you know what I mean. So basically is it too late to go up to random people in my class and say "Hi, hows it going, Im x" ? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Meh you are grand,I practically didn't talk to my class for the first few months of first year.Too busy with old friends and girl stuff.What about the people you live with,are you in a student accomodation?That's where most of my friends came ffrom in first year.Talk to your neighbours and stuff.All you have to do to make friends in your class is chat to them and most likely they will ask you to come out when they are going out.People have come into my class from other colleges and other courses after first year and they have made friends no bother.They lost a lot more time than you did!
Seriously,all you do is chat about similar things that you are interested in.

Civilian_Target

One2Uniflu wrote:

So basically is it too late to go up to random people in my class and say "Hi, hows it going, Im x" ? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

No - its never too late. I'm in final year and I still do this all the time. Even last week I had lunch with a load of random engineers...

Red Alert

yeah just head out to the next thing on or whatnot. nobody's going to blank you anyways, they'll probably be glad to meet somebody new

Jonny Arson

One2Uniflu wrote:

Going unreggy for this. I started a course in UCD with a big class in September, but after registration I got really sick and missed all the Freshers madness and only went back to college today. Trouble is, I dont know anyone in my class at all! They all seem to have formed little groups and I would feel weird 'intruding' if you know what I mean. So basically is it too late to go up to random people in my class and say "Hi, hows it going, Im x" ? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Hey good to hear that you're fit and well!

Ok UCD is the biggest college in Ireland and without a doubt the most informal college in Ireland. Only really starting college now would naturally freak anyone out and make you worry about fitting in. I'll be honest UCD is a really tough college to fit in to especially if you're doing a large scale course like Arts. I'm in my 2nd year there now and apart from the few friends I who I knew before UCD I haven't made any friends at all... not even close. I personally find alot of people in that particular course to be quite cold and unfriendly and even the people who did have a bit of life in them were cliquey and in their eyes I was just someone to have an odd 2 minute chat to something which I didn't like as I was desperate to make friends and tried so hard with people. In a course like Commerce for example people mix greatly together and almost become like a family.

What you see about people forming their groups is true. Either these groups are school friends who will stick in that group for the rest of their college life or people who got to know each other in those first couple of weeks. I know people in their 2nd year who are still only hanging out with the exact same people as the beggining of 1st year. I'll be honest penetrating cliques will be tough. If they reject you forget about them and move on as they won't be worth it.

Your best bet to know people in your course will be in your tutorials/practicals. They're in small groups and are more formal. Be yourself, say hello, talk about your course, college life etc. If you get nothing back move on. There will always be people you see day in day out who are only dying for someone to make an effort with them. If you do have the courage talk to someone who sits by themselves regularly in a lecture. Again if they reject they're not worth it, if they give you some warmth then bingo you're getting to know someone. Also it's never too late to join a club or a society. If you've got an interest in something like a hobbie or sport you may well find it. I'd probably recommend a sports club more to a society as there is more activity and interaction within sports clubs in comparison to societies.

Also give an equal amount of time to fitting in and your coursework. I presume you will be a bit behind with your work so don't lose sight with that. (advice from someone who failed 1st year!)

Good luck
A.

BTW the UCD forum is having a beers meetup on Thursday at 3 in Student Bar so do come along!