Is it just me...

LegacyUser

I'm just wondering...
Is it just me, or do people treat you better when you're not nice to them than they do if you make an effort with them?
Seriously! There are people that I've really tried to be a good friend or girlfriend to, and they've just thrown it all back in my face.
Then there are people I've made less of an effort with, who are nicer to me.
I give up...

Canis Lupus

Nowt as queer as folk.

[Jackass]

Of course it's true...

Where do you think all the sayings come from like "Nice guys always finish last", and "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"...

People who are nice are often seen as push overs, so people try to walk all over them...and if you're too nice you wont say anything..

Everyone needs a bit of an edge to get by if you ask me

annR

It's possible to be nice to people without being overly nice or a pushover . . . . .please don't start being mean to people to get them to like you!

I think it's more about confidence than anything else.

dundalk cailin

age old cliché.."treat em mean keep em keen" unfortunately seems to ring true more often than not

Tobias Greeshman

The only reason it appears to work is because you appear more confident, no other reason tbh.

^CwAzY^

Treat em rough, get your muff.. as they say..

el tel

People with an edge get more respect.
(Treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen)

Sangre

Nice people don't finish last, timid people do.

End. of. story.

Laguna

It's the age old adage of people trying to be liked by everyone. If you're a nice non-confrontational person with other people, they'll walk all over you as most peoples nature is to take as much from other people as possible, however, if you go around being a surly bastard, people are going to try and make that extra effort with you to get you to "like" them. It's all about acceptance.

What I don't understand is why women seem to love men who are blatant assholes (i.e. the guy who won't call, only wants the ride etc.), but are then surprised when they fail to *change* him and end up being abused like everyone else, THEN deciding all men are scum. I don't get it, if you're going to associate with scum, and they behave like scum, where's the logic in tarring everyone else with the same brush?

jonny68

DubGuy wrote:

Of course it's true...

Where do you think all the sayings come from like "Nice guys always finish last", and "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"...

People who are nice are often seen as push overs, so people try to walk all over them...and if you're too nice you wont say anything..

Everyone needs a bit of an edge to get by if you ask me

spot on there mate;)

jonny68

dundalk cailin wrote:

age old cliché.."treat em mean keep em keen" unfortunately seems to ring true more often than not

again spot on;)

dundalk cailin

jonny68 wrote:

again spot on;)

arent i always...:cool:

Crucifix

Sangre wrote:

Nice people don't finish last, timid people do.

End. of. story.

The right idea here IMO.
The phrase "Make an effort" worries me. It evokes an image being unrelenting and irritating,in my mind. Obviously I'm making an enormous leap there, but maybe you need to take it easier? That could be why people you don't 'make an effort' with enjoy your company? I dunno; maybe it'd help if you gave some specifics.

CombatCow

Laguna wrote:

What I don't understand is why women seem to love men who are blatant assholes (i.e. the guy who won't call, only wants the ride etc.), but are then surprised when they fail to *change* him and end up being abused like everyone else, THEN deciding all men are scum. I don't get it, if you're going to associate with scum, and they behave like scum, where's the logic in tarring everyone else with the same brush?

Never a truer word spoken.....unfortunatley.


CC

dudara

Mackie444 wrote:

I'm just wondering...
Is it just me, or do people treat you better when you're not nice to them than they do if you make an effort with them?
Seriously! There are people that I've really tried to be a good friend or girlfriend to, and they've just thrown it all back in my face.
Then there are people I've made less of an effort with, who are nicer to me.
I give up...

i think that we've all thought that at some stage or another. However, as life goes on, you worry about it less and less because you realise that some people are just idiots/ignorant and wouldn't recognise niceness if it came up and bit them on the ass.

You realise that what matters is being yourself. The people who like you will like you, and don't worry about the people who don't

HelterSkelter

Another thing is people who are generally arseholes get so much credit for the rare nice things they do whereas people who are nice all the time get ignored, slagged, walked all over.

pdunno

I don't think it's necessarily always the case that "nice guys finish last". **** happens and whether your an arsehole or not doesn't mean that bad **** willl happen less or more often to you.

I also don't buy this "treat em mean, keep em keen" thing either. If someone likes you, they like - if your not their type then your not thier type.

Some peoplwe are arseholes, some aren't - that's life.

LegacyUser

i think guys are great crack always up for a laugh but girls are jus mean and b*tchy i rele hate girls!!

nobodythere

I'm exceptionally polite to people who are rude straight off because I know they hate it