Funniest Thing EVER in Poker......

BigDragon

Drunk Man Obviously Confusing Actual Card Room with Online One.

TUNICA, MS - Floor managers, dealers and players present in the Grand's poker room last Thursday all confirm that a severely intoxicated holdem player experienced great difficulty separating the similar yet distinct realities of online and physical poker.

The drunk, identified by casino staff as Michigan tourist Evelio Alderdice, first drew attention to himself by asking players to stop "hiding their numbers". When pressed, Alderdice explained "I should be able to see their numbers, their chip numbers. They're hiding them, that's cheating. Waitress!"

Other players were at first confused, and allowed the comment to pass as Alderdice sunk back into inebriated silence. After the next outburst however, player Justin Lowry put two and two together. "He started going off, very loudly and like, out of ****ing nowhere, about how he had 'clicked post' before he went to the bathroom and so he should've be dealt in," recalled Lowry. "It didn't really hit me until he said something about having a time bank and how he could totally piss in under 2 minutes. Then I was like ****, this guy thinks he's playing online."

As the evening progressed, Alderdice displayed even clearer signs of his inability to distinguish between the online and physical versions of the game, including yelling 'raise any', 'call any', and 'fold to any bet' before action was anywhere near him; becoming frustrated when his chips did not move themselves to the center; not tipping the dealer and constantly wandering over to the cage to see how much money he had left in his 'account'.

"On one hand, I felt kind of bad for the guy," said player Mike Hutton, "but on the other hand, it was pretty ****ing funny. I mean, here's this guy who just keeps poking the rail like there are buttons there, who keeps talking out loud to himself and gets shocked when other people can hear him ... man."

" I've been pretty drunk before at a poker table," Hutton continued, "and like sometimes I'll forget what game I'm playing, like I'll confuse limit with no limit or forget I'm in a tournament. But I've never been so drunk that I tried to intentionally disconnect to activate all in protection in a live game."

hotspur

BigDragon wrote:

Drunk Man Obviously Confusing Actual Card Room with Online One.
But I've never been so drunk that I tried to intentionally disconnect to activate all in protection in a live game."

Classic

Dub13

very good....were do you find this stuff Dave...?

roryc

fcuking hilarious

BigDragon

Dub13 wrote:

very good....were do you find this stuff Dave...?

Same place I got this...........:D

Phil Hellmuth Introduces New "Flop Free" Online Card Room.


THE INTERNET - Since the inception of online poker some six years ago, developers have produced a variety of offerings based on what they felt the players wanted - different graphics, chat features, and so on. In his latest foray into the online poker waters, poker icon Phil Hellmuth decided to recreate not only the look of poker, but the game itself with flopfreepoker.com.

"I thought about my new room for a long time," said Hellmuth in a press release issued yesterday. "I came to the conclusion that where other new rooms had gone wrong was by considering what players wanted. I decided to just consider what I wanted." The press release text was then interrupted by a half-page photo of Phil.

Apparently, what Phil wanted was a holdem game with no river, no turn, and no flop - leaving only preflop play. "Originally it was going to be riverfreepoker.com," Phil mused in a telephone interview. "But then I realized - people also sucked out on the turn against me way too often. But then I started sketching logos, and turnandriverfree.com was just too long."

"Hey," Hellmuth barked suddenly "You are going to put something in this article about my personalized chip set, right?"

"Good," continued Hellmuth. "So, anyhow, I just said **** it and got rid of all of it, because I can't count the number of times I've seen the best hand go down on the flop too. So what you're left with is just preflop. Now that is pure poker."

Hellmuth's site is set to launch by winter, with the slogan "Flopfreepoker.com - The Only Room Where Aces Have to Hold Up."

Dub13

Hellmuth has finally lost the plot.

Thats if its true

BigDragon

Dub13 wrote:

Hellmuth has finally lost the plot.

Thats if its true

Sorry m8 ...its all spoof stuff

CoD

I think its all a wind up poker site, with fictional stories, sounds funny tho

Dub13

well with Hellmuth you would never no.

BigDragon

http://parttimepoker.com/poker-humor/index.htm