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Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

  • 20-10-2005 10:48am
    #1
    kleefarr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,744 ✭✭✭


    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish................................49
    Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic...............................No breasts.
    Average looking....................Mooooooo.
    Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure................On medication.
    Feminist................................Fat.
    Free spirit............................Junkie.
    Friendship first......................Former sl*t.
    New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
    Open-minded.......................Desperate.
    Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional..........................B*tch.
    Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
    Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


Comments

  • #2
    The Troll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 686 ✭✭✭The Troll


    So true.


  • #3
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    kleefarr wrote:
    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:


    Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic...............................No breasts.

    Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.

    Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.

    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.


    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
    Lol!


  • #4
    joker77
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,111 ✭✭✭joker77


    kleefarr wrote:
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

    Ah so true, so true!


  • #5
    scuba steve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,549 ✭✭✭scuba steve


    good one


  • #6
    HybridTech
    Closed Accounts Posts: 265 ✭✭HybridTech


    :D Brilliant. Needed a good laugh like that! Cheers!:D

    The funniest thing is that they are all true, like somebody said before.


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  • #7
    Diarmsquid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,584 ✭✭✭Diarmsquid


    That's very good.


  • #8
    Gandalf23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,643 ✭✭✭Gandalf23


    scarily true


  • #9
    tallus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,324 ✭✭✭tallus


    excellent :-)


  • #10
    de5p0i1er
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    LOL. Brillant and true. :D:D:D


  • #11
    rugbug86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,335 ✭✭✭rugbug86


    kleefarr wrote:
    2. No = Yes

    think you mean no = no


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  • #12
    JohnK
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,780 ✭✭✭JohnK


    lol :D Funny and true :D


  • #13
    dundalk cailin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭dundalk cailin


    v funny but..seen it a million times by email

    still makes me smile tho :)


  • #14
    Le Rack
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    lol
    the man ones are true anyway!


  • #15
    bozzie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 534 ✭✭✭bozzie


    ROFL
    its like a window into the soul


  • #16
    Alkers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,908 ✭✭✭Alkers


    kleefarr wrote:
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
    Haha, Rofl


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