things you learn from movies

Hecate

Things You Learn From the Movies:

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well
within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently
to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in
your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly
bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a
world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned
down three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill
their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach
the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man
lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of
your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or
Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be
thrown through it before long.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate
any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will
always say: Enter Password Now.

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to
right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is
their total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer
to speak to each other in English.

TwoShedsJackson

lol You should check out a film called The Hidden, Hec, i beleive it conforms to numbers 5, 6, 8, 10, 17, 18, 19, 21, AND 23.

plus also has a classic car chase at the start with the original 'Two blokes carrying a large sheet of glass across the road for no apparent reason' scene AND 'Bunch of people in wheelchairs just waiting to be run over' scene

it dates from about 1988, bout the only other thing I can remember about it is that it was directed by Jack Sholder, the guy who did Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Despite that its actually a good laff, classic curry and six pack stuff

Hecate

from the looks of it that was its target market

El_Presidente

That was a bit of a giggle.