phone numbers

LegacyUser

This is just a question that i want to ask but i dont want a lecture on what i did. I know i intruded and i know it was wrong. Thats for another day.

Anyway, the prob in hand. My fiance came in last night from being out with her friends. No prob there. But then her phone rang and she was in a coma and never heard it. It woke me and i checked it to see who it was. It was a number she didn't have stored. I rang into its mailbox and it turned out to be a fella's number. I then checked the texts on her phone and she had sent one to a friend asking her if she ever heard of this fella (As in 'hey mary do u know joe soap?') that had rang. She had sent that text while out so its obvious she had met this fella while out. And now she has given him her number.

This has got me a bit worried. Why did she give him her number? Can there be a simple answer?

Please dont berate me for prying as i know that was wrong. I need to figure out what is going on here. Thanks for all the help.

NoDayBut2Day

I think you should just talk to her about it; honesty always solves the problem instead of say sneaking around trying to find out who it was. Just talk to her.

I wish I could be of more help; I know how it must hurt.

Good luck....


~Cho <><
xoxo

nedoo

ohh I think you would be in the sh*t house with her if you ask her. Keep an eye on it. Be calm, trust her but just be wise. Prob. nothing but drunkin smunkin gibberjabber, cant be serious if she didn't know who he was.(And has to be said, just once, her phone, her property tut tut)

DublinWriter

loser4 wrote:

This has got me a bit worried. Why did she give him her number? Can there be a simple answer?

Mmmmm...sounds bad dude. He can't have been calling that late for professional/work related reasons.

I'd keep an eye on it for a few weeks and don't go acting all leery around her or else she'll suspect that you suspect and will go on her guard.

Normally, I'd say ask her about it immediately, but the fact that she's your financee means that there's much more at stake. You'll need to gather a little more evidence than a single phone call/txt before confronting her.

fade2black

Just tell her that there was a missed call from a strange number...nothing wrong at looking at the phone when it's ringing. See what she says about it then...if she says she has no idea who it was...then you have reason to be suspicious...she might even tell you the story...either way, you'll learn a bit more.

Miguel_Sanchez

Could be any number of things.

She could have given her number to him for any number of innocent reasons and he might have decided late while drunk to try his case with her.

Don't jump to conclusions.

Although I would have to say that you seem to be slightly paranoid. Just because a number she didn't have saved rang her you immediately became suspicious and rang to its voice mail?

It could have been a friend ringing her from a borrowed phone to see if she was still out or anything.

Mountjoy Mugger

If you're like this when engaged, I'd think twice about getting married to her.

Red Alert

yes it's not good at all. i've often gotten a number of a female acquaintance who's got a boyfriend, not for any reason other than to check she got home etc or the like.

You shouldnt be worried.
It looks like a complete stranger who doesnt know that shes taken and who may even have grabbed her phone and sent himself a text mid flirt.
It's a common trick to get a number.

Think nothing of it.

It is a matter of concern that you would be worried though.
Take this as a lesson and a warning sign and cut out the jealousy thing.

The simple matter of fact part of life is that both of you are going to be chatty and flirty with people but it means nothing in most cases for everybody and in your case it means nothing most likely here.

In this case take it as meaning nothing.

In other words (and no offence meant) cop on to yourself and dont be continuing on like this,or you will damage your relationship and that will be your fault.
That would be ironic.

nobodythere

Red Alert wrote:

yes it's not good at all. i've often gotten a number of a female acquaintance who's got a boyfriend, not for any reason other than to check she got home etc or the like.

Well then I think it's safe to say you're not like 90% of guys :P

vibrant

Sounds like a wrong number? Who knows, perhaps "Mr. X" is from the same place/works in the same place as her friend, so she was just asking her while they were out?

Could be totally innocent, don't forget that Ireland is tiny, everyone knows everyone and it's quite possible that they could have met and chatted about mutual friends.

idontknowmyname

i've loads of male friends and I'm always bumping into old friends that I've lost contact with and take their number again, This situation you're in could be purely innocent, ask her

Red Alert

not all that abnormal then it seems

Goodshape

Don't worry. Ask her about it - tell her the phone rang, you didn't recognise the number and so didn't answer; ask her who it was when she checks her missed calls or whatever.

If she totally avoids answering or lies about who it was.. then you can start worrying.

ferdi

it looks bad, ditch her now, less pain in the end.

[Jackass]

I dunno....

I'm gonna be honest with you mate, I think that is well dodgy...especially since she hasn't mentiond it!! :eek:

So what are your options:

You could put it down to an old friend, an innocent chat in a club, he sais "we should catch up...what's your namuber?" Seems like a good idea at the time, so you give your number. Put it down to you love her, you know her better than anyone, you know she would never do that to you, and just forget about it.

OR

She might have pulled him, and given him his number (as it seems she was rat arsed)

Personally, what I would do is, when i get a chance...at dinner, or chatting infront of the tele, mention, "Ohh, by the way, some guy called for you when you got in the other night...I tried to wake you..."
And leave it at that...and you know that you will know by her reaction if something is out of sorts...she might go quite for a second and say...ohh ok...or she might openly discuss it.

Dont mention how you know...by saying the above, she will presume you answerd it...but you never said that.

If it comes down to it, say you thought it was "Mary" calling to see if she got home alright, so you rang her back when she missed the call to let her know..and it was turned off..or you thought it could be one of her mates calling about anything, and you were worried so you called back...some crap like that.

But I don't blame you, and I would deffenatly come up with a sly plan to get info out of her while keeping my nose clean...you have a right to know tbh...

angelbabe2112

or it could be a completley innocant situation where her friend "Mary" knows this fella and gave your fiances number to him and thats why your fiancee was asing. remember with text you cant get the tone of the coversation in what way she meant it.

Bottle_of_Smoke

First of all "Dubguy" I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

OP at least you know he's pathetic enough to call on the same night, so he can't be much of a threat if anything did happen.....

And I know she's engaged to you but there's been plenty of times I've given my number to people I prayed to god would never contact me. I'm just bad at giving out the wrong number.

Do as dubguy said, pretty depressing though that you're engaged (getting married in the future) to the girl and you're freaking out over this

20 Times 20 Times

Its very simple for me to tell you the truth , A relationship is built on trust if there is no trust in the relationship you shouldnt be with each other never mind getting maried to one another. So ask yourself the question do you trust her ?

FoXXy

Sarge wrote:

So ask yourself the question do you trust her ?

ah but with so much on the line ie future marriage?... theres trust and then theres blind faith. if your handed a clue check it out, its too risky to let it go...

i'd agree with dubguy.. say she had a missed call n then watch her reaction r ask if it was one of the girls checkin to see if she got in ok, that way she'll have to go look at her phone n give u an answer. if she sed it was the girls ringin then u got trubble!

Draupnir

Sarge wrote:

Its very simple for me to tell you the truth , A relationship is built on trust if there is no trust in the relationship you shouldnt be with each other never mind getting maried to one another. So ask yourself the question do you trust her ?

This is a ridiculous thing to tell the guy. You cant expect a person to blindly sit back and think that everything is grand all the time, relying on a magical believe that they live in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane.

Real life means that people make mistakes a lot, do things they shouldnt and probably regret.

Being in an adult relationship does mean trusting someone implicitly, but you should also be able to share and discuss your concerns and worries.

I'd go with DubGuy, mention that someone rang from a strange and you had forgotten to tell her until now because it was late and you were half asleep.

Chrissie

DubGuy wrote:

I dunno....
what I would do is, when i get a chance...at dinner, or chatting infront of the tele, mention, "Ohh, by the way, some guy called for you when you got in the other night...I tried to wake you..."

Firstly, that's lying to your partner which is never good, but especially when it's bad lies that you're gonna get yourself caught out over!!
Some guy called:- but if she looks at her phone it's logged as a MISSED call, not a received call, so there's no way you could've know it was a guy!!

DubGuy wrote:

If it comes down to it, say you thought it was "Mary" calling to see if she got home alright, so you rang her back when she missed the call to let her know..and it was turned off..or you thought it could be one of her mates calling about anything, and you were worried so you called back...some crap like that.

You didn't ring the number back, you called the voicemail number, so if she checks her Dialled numbers she'll see the number dialled but she'll see a 5 before the number, so again, she'll know you're lying.

Do not lie to her, you should know & trust her enough to have an honest conversation with her about it.
jokingly:- "who the hell was the strange number phoning you at 5 in the morning!!!?" or whatever, chances are it'll be a legit explanation.

I don't blame you for being curious & doing what you did, but don't make it worse by telling lies!!!