The morning after the night before...

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
Here is my problem. The other night I'm in a nightclub and see the most gorgeous fella. I go over to him, ask what's his name etc, we canoodle in the corner the whole night. We go back to my friend's house, where I was staying that night, discover we have a mutual friend who was having a party that night, so we go to it, with some of my other friends, and canoodle the whole night there too. He seems to like me, and I really like him.

After the party, he says he is really tired and cold. My friends were heading back home, I ask him if he's going to walk me back up. He says no, because my friends were walking up and I'd be OK with them, and because it was a long walk there and back and he was cold (he lives on the same street as the house where the party was). I ask him if I'd been on my own would he walk me up, he says he would. I tell him to pop home and get his coat, he won't. He gives me a kiss goodnight and tells me to send him a text the next day, which I did. I asked how he was, etc. He never wrote back, and I'm gutted. I really liked him, he'd told me earlier in the night that he'd like to see me again soon, but he hasn't spoken to me since (it's been 2 days).

What do I do?

[Jackass]

Well, things that are said drunk, don't always ring true later unfortunatly.

My impression of events is that you said, "He said earlier in the night he wanted to see me again soon...." and the fact that it was late and he was cold and tired at the end of the night would suggest he had soberd up, and was kind of giving you the cold shoulder, not walking you back, not inviting you in, and now not writing back....

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think it was just a drunken kissing session...

It could be worse, he could have invited you in for a 1 night stand and then blank you....

Chucky the tree

i dont blame him for blanking you.

You havent even gone out on a date, yet your already nagging him. Telling hm to pop home and get his coat?! eh..hello...take the hint. If he really wanted to walk you home if would of thought of that one himself.

Also, you dont text someone the following day, its make you look sad and needy.

What you do from here is dont text or ring him again, for his own sake. Delete his number from your phonebook so you dont get drunk and send him a few texts making you look even more sad and desperate.

Move on and forget about him.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

DubGuy wrote:

Well, things that are said drunk, don't always ring true later unfortunatly.

My impression of events is that you said, "He said earlier in the night he wanted to see me again soon...." and the fact that it was late and he was cold and tired at the end of the night would suggest he had soberd up, and was kind of giving you the cold shoulder, not walking you back, not inviting you in, and now not writing back....

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think it was just a drunken kissing session...

It could be worse, he could have invited you in for a 1 night stand and then blank you....

I know...he'd sobered up when he told me to text him though.

LegacyUser

Chucky the tree wrote:

i dont blame him for blanking you.

You havent even gone out on a date, yet your already nagging him. Telling hm to pop home and get his coat?! eh..hello...take the hint. If he really wanted to walk you home if would of thought of that one himself.

Also, you dont text someone the following day, its make you look sad and needy.

What you do from here is dont text or ring him again, for his own sake. Delete his number from your phonebook so you dont get drunk and send him a few texts making you look even more sad and desperate.

Move on and forget about him.

Best of luck.

Don't know if this came across in my post but I'm new to getting with a stranger thing, I'd only ever had proper boyfriends that I got with over time before this.

StephenInsane

Chucky the tree wrote:

Delete his number from your phonebook so you dont get drunk and send him a few texts making you look even more sad and desperate.

V good advice.

OLDYELLAR

I think ya may have lost him at the ''pop home and get your coat '' stage.

Ya just met him and shifted him , he has no obligation to walk you home and he saying no once should have been enough .

He might just be busy , but to be honest it was a shift and what have ya , he didnt wanna walk ya home and he may of gotten a bit creeped by the ''if I was alone would ya '' chat , sounds a bit needy to be honest.

Id put it down to it was nice while it lasted , he didnt text back , feck it , wouldnt get too hung up on it , you liked him a lot , he doesnt seem overly keen , no need to be stressin thinking about it.

Put it down to experience .

nlgbbbblth

If you know where he lives call over.

He'll be forced to make a decision about your future together there and then.

OLDYELLAR

Please do not call over.

Thats so stalkerish , it was a shift , a bit of fun , leave it at that .

If he texts great if he dont , just leave it at that move on , theres millions of guys in the world , and many who do reply to texts , so just forget that guy if ya dont hear from him.

If ya do turn up where he lives , most likely he wont have a clue who you are and secondly ive got to say it reeks of stalker bunny boiler .

ando

nlgbbbblth wrote:

If you know where he lives call over.

He'll be forced to make a decision about your future together there and then.

yea like 'get away from me you weirdo'... DONT call over, jeez

OLDYELLAR

ando wrote:

yea like 'get away from me you weirdo'... DONT call over, jeez

Seconded!
Such a bad idea.

Firetrap

Thirded (if there's such a word)
If he wanted to make contact, he'd have done so by now. There's no point in texting him again. He's seen your text and chosen to ignore it. If he was interested, it wouldn't have gone ignored.

My impression from your story is that he was only too glad to leave you with your friends so he wouldn't have to bother leaving you home (something he was only going to do out of a feeling of obligation - making sure nothing happened to you on the way home). Sorry for being so blunt. I know what it's like to meet someone who's not interested

Crucifix

It's been 2 days. Just wanna emphasise that....2 days.
Give it some more time, it's a least possible (though maybe unlikely) he has no credit or whatever. And dear god, don't call to his house.

LegacyUser

Did you text him .. first thing the next morning .. when the guy was probably having a sleep on. Or did you wait until the evening?

In general,he I'd say he was put off by the walk ing home episode. He had already said he was cold and tired. You should take people at face value and believe what they are saying!! You only met him that night and you were putting a lot of pressure on him. You friends were there to walk you home,. and you should also think about them too!! Do you think they would be happy with you walking off with some stranger into the night?? They'd have to go and "get his coat" too. (If they are good friends that is).

The poster who suggested popping over to his house for a chat about the future has to be a troll!! The silliest thing I've ever read.

Delete phonenumber .. start again! Unless he contacts you .. next time .. snog .. happiness .. give number .. come home with your friends. If no contact then keep looking .. je wasn't for you. But donm't stalk!

[Jackass]

Fiona111 wrote:

I know...he'd sobered up when he told me to text him though.

Yeah that's just something you say though...trying to end the conversation, and make it as unawkward as possible..

"Ya great time...see you later...send me a text in the morning..."
It dosen't mean anything...Not nececeraly anyway

In fairness, you seem pretty obsessed/desperate (no offence) which probably came across to him

Don't worry....you've done your part, now wait and see what happens....give it untill monday night, and if there's still no reply, send him 1 more, a shot to nothing..and don't mention the last text, or why didnt you write back or whatever..Just "Hey, how was your weekend? blah blah.."

But most of all...stop freaking out!! It was a one night kissing session....not even a one night stand!! You're taking this a bit too far tbh...

Besides, you know him through a mutual friend...so you'll probably bump into him again at some stage....and if not you casn do it accidently on purpose by hanging out more with the mutual friend....geez :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

I absolutely, definitely will not be calling over to his house!
I've deleted his number.

LegacyUser

bubby wrote:

Did you text him .. first thing the next morning .. when the guy was probably having a sleep on. Or did you wait until the evening?

I waited til the evening.

bubby wrote:

You should take people at face value and believe what they are saying!!

Unfortunately I did, which is why I texted him the next day...

I've given up on him, I'm pretty embarrassed about the whole thing tbh.

nobodythere

You say ye were just kissing the whole night, is it possible he was expecting more and when you decided to go home he got a little pissed off. Makes him a bit of a dick I suppose... or does it... blah just misinterpretations from both sides I suppose.

Ranting to myself again...

lau1247

if you think he's gorgeous..
Then he will most likely think he's gorgeous also..
And guys who think himself as a pretty boy ain't exactly sticking around for one girl only..

Take it as an experience..
Don't contact him again

Kell

Fiona111 wrote:

What do I do?

Take the hint and move on.

Time to rant-

This must be the gazillionth post of a similar nature I have seen since joining boards. What is wrong with people that when something as blatant as someone ignoring you cant be taken as just that. Why does this stuff require pages of analysis when the bottom line is you had a good time, he is no longer interested, move on and dont spare it another thought.

Is everyones self esteem so delicate these days that ye cant just move on and that there HAS to be a hidden meaning in whatever someone says to you? Jeebus, if you spent your life thinking "what if" and looking over your shoulder every five minutes wondering what someone thought of you, you'd get nothing done.

Arrghhh.

K-

LegacyUser

Player Rule 1: Always leave them wanting more.
Player Rule 2: Wait before you call, anticipation works wonders.

Or

He doesnt like you.

No matter what way you look at it forget about him. You did your part in showing him you liked him, If he liked you he would tell you at this stage. Time to move on Im afraid.

joejoem

Fiona111 wrote:

After the party, he says he is really tired and cold. My friends were heading back home, I ask him if he's going to walk me back up. He says no, because my friends were walking up and I'd be OK with them, and because it was a long walk there and back and he was cold (he lives on the same street as the house where the party was). I ask him if I'd been on my own would he walk me up, he says he would. I tell him to pop home and get his coat, he won't. He gives me a kiss goodnight and tells me to send him a text the next day, which I did. I asked how he was, etc. He never wrote back, and I'm gutted. I really liked him, he'd told me earlier in the night that he'd like to see me again soon, but he hasn't spoken to me since (it's been 2 days).

What do I do?

Oh god thats such a headwreck thing to do. You have to be a little more independant. He is a potential partner/equal not a slave. Chivalry only goes so far.

Nasty_Girl

Hey Fiona,

There are a number of things that may or may not have happened with this guy, he may have sobered up and changed his mind, he may have flushed his phone down the bog by accident, he may have just been looking for a one nighter but this is my advice to you:

Forget about it, you put yourself out there you got knocked back, you may never know why, he may call tomorrow, you may see him out again whatever.

You said you weren't used to hooking up with guys on nights out and unfortunately this kind of thing happens a lot. These places aren't the best places to meet partners, they're good for one nighters (be it just meeting or the full blown score) but the bottom line is you have to be in control of your emotions and just relax and have fun (be it simply dancing with a guy or whatever) and don't expect anything more from these guys.

there's always an exception to the rule but very rare.