School Age - 4 or 5????

Wex1

My son will be nearly 4 and a half next Septemeber. I'd like a bit of feedback on the pros and cons of leaving him until he's 5 to start school. My friend has a little boy the same age (actually 6wks younger) and they're sending him next year. I think i'd be better waiting.
He's a really good talker, can count to 13, etc, etc, and is the 3rd child so he's familiar with the school from the outside, but i just don't feel that any child is ready unless they're close to 5. Can anyone reinforce this feeling - as it is only a feeling, i might be wrong.

ArthurDent

Check with the school you wish your son to attend - many- especially in built-up areas have a cut off point that the must be 4 before in order to start in Sept.

mos tteachers say that, especially for boys, the nearer they are to 5 the better they are starting school.

Wex1

School hasn't a problem with him starting - they're stuck for numbers - not a built up area. But they did tell a friend this year that they would prefer nearer to 5. My son was born in March - that's halfway! and if his best friend goes next year, he'll really want to go. He already wants to go because his 2 older brothers head off happily to their friends every morning, I just feel it would be better for him, his education and in the long term if he waits until 2007

CJhaughey

I think it is kind of rushing it to put a kid into school at 4.
I feel that it just grows them up too fast, kind of like the time that a kid has to be a kid is getting shorter all the time.
Is there any preschool or montessori where you are?
maybe a few days a week, in preschool would be a good experience?
I agree that it would be better IMHO if a child went a little later maybe 5 or so, just that bit more mature and ready to handle the whole school experience.

deisemum

Why don't you wait until next May/June to decide as you will have a much better idea on how ready your child is for starting school. Personally I think he should be ready at 4 and a half, it would be different if he was only gone 4 when he started. You also don't want the situation if you wait until he's 5 and a half and is older than his classmates that he's bored and may become disruptive in class then earning the reputation of being a disruptive child. As I said wait until next summer to decide.

Victor

I think send him next year. 4.5 is plenty old enough. 5.5 is perhaps too old.

I started age 4.003.

Nevyn

I started school in september having tuned 4 th end of the june before;
My daughter turn 4 the start of July and started school the september after.

It depends on the child, not just thier skills but how confideant they are and
will they be able to speak out and up for themsleves and be able for the
interaction with other kids in the classroom and the school yard.

The school did push for her to be left for another year but I knew she was ready
and it has worked out well for her. Her teachers are pleased with her and she
is well able to hold her own.

sharonlarkin

I would leave him till he is 5. But stick him in a playgroup for an hour or two a day. My daughter is 4 and she is in her second year in the playgroup. She will be starting big school next September. The 1st year really brought her out as she was a very quiet child and never liked mixing. The 2nd year in the playgroup and she is thriving ten times better. Also try to get a playgroup where the kids he will be with are all transferring to the same school. 14 of the kids in my daughters class will be going onto big school together. So she will have had most of them as friends for 2 years. That makes a big difference to kids. Instead of having to make new friends straight away on the first day.

Tazz T

I would have thought a child with older siblings already at school would be more developed than a first child for example, and therefore would be ready to start earlier.

Altho I understand that being one of the youngest in the class up to age 10 could be a problem.

Moonbeam

5 1/2 starting school may not be good for them in later life.
In secondary school and late primary school they are going to be older then the majority of their class and this could have negative effects on them,

SparkyLarks

Have a look at the age of the other kids.
If most kids are being sent at 4 and a hallf send him at 4 and a half, If most kids are starting at 5 and a half send him at 5 and a half. Being different, i.e. 1 year older than everybody ele can be difficult for a child. Of course it isn't difficult for other children.

If you want your son to play sport, make sure that ther in the same age category as the rest of their class. It can be very hard for a child to partake in sport if the're in a class below/above everybody else. It won't be very important in primary school but it may be very important in secondary. Playing sport will help him to make friends more quickly wheras if none of the other boys playing sport are

though IMHO there is no problem starting school at 4

Raytown Rocks

I sent my youngest daughter to school when she was 4. She is now almost 6 and is in 1st class. I have checked with teachers on many occasions as she has grown and developed in school, and never once have we been told that she is unable to cope with the classes and the teachings, in fact the opposite, she is doing very well.

I admit though we have occasions when we wonder did we do the right thing, will she be less mature than her classmates later in her school life and will she need to stay back and repeat a year ( probably easier to do when younger).

I suppose each family setup is different and each parent will know their children and if they are ready or not.

If memory serves me correctly I started primary school on the day of my 4th birthday ( and i came through ok) I think,


Just as an aside, some people will want to send their children to primary school as early as possible, so they dont have to pay an extortionate
(spelling) amount of money to a creche for another year.

Dave

I was 3 starting school :eek:

It would have been nicer to have that extra year or two, as I was always the smallest and youngest.

Victor

chef wrote:

I admit though we have occasions when we wonder did we do the right thing, will she be less mature than her classmates later in her school life and will she need to stay back and repeat a year ( probably easier to do when younger).

Remember the vast majority of children do 6 years in secondary school these days - they will still be over 18 doing the leaving cert if the start school after age 4.25

It not like the old days where 16 and 17 year olds were doing the leaving cert and some college kids couldn't vote, drink, etc.

PJG

Hi ,

Our Daughter started this term and she was 5 in July. She is really enjoying and is well able for it. We sent her to Montessori last term and due to this has been a little bored at times.

If I compare it to my niece who was four in March and has also started this term - she is really tired and no enjoying it as much.


I was just gone 17 when I finished school, I feel it was too young, a year old a year wiser.

cheers

edengarden

my son who will be 5 in Jan started school this year and I was a little annoyed -it's a small class and there are quite a few chilren who will be turning 6 around Feb/March - these children have two years montessori and more than likely ahead of the younger children. I think 4 going on 5 is a great age to start- they will have that extra year if need to repeat in secondary.

Moonbeam

"I admit though we have occasions when we wonder did we do the right thing, will she be less mature than her classmates later in her school life and will she need to stay back and repeat a year ( probably easier to do when younger)."

From experience I have noticed that children and young people act the same age as their class mates / peers even if they are younger or older. I did my lc at 17 and the majority of my class were 19/20 due to it being a grind school, the 20 year olds were as immature as the 17 year old and the 17 year olds as mature as the 20 year olds, and the same in college now I am still in my early 20's and have friends the same age just finishing college due to being 3 years older then me finishing school,who in terms other then age would be years younger.

Nevyn

I turned 17 the day of my last LC exam,
I took two years out work, did some evening classes and then decided what college course I wanted.
I found those two years to be a god send, I grew up a lot learned to handle
money and make my own decisions.
A lot better then doing straight to college, doing any course that I got offered,
or that the guidance person suggested or that my parents wanted.
I was in some cases two year older then the students in my class and so many
of them dropped out it was unreal.
Young adults have to decied they want to go to college and what they want to
do with thier lives.

If a 'gap' year working in McDonalds gives them that time to choose then I am
all for it and better it be at 17/18 then having dropped out of college with out
finishing at 20/21.

zeusnero

I started school at 4 and 1 week - was always the youngest right up till 3rd year in university but I don't think it had any negative effects. It all depends on the individual child.

IMO 5.5 is too old, I think 4.5 is a great age to start school and it would probably annoy the hell out of your child in later life when they find themself a year behind their best friend...

iguana

4 and a half really does seem like the normal age to start. If your child wants to go to school, and his best friend is going, then imo you should send him. The first 2 years at school does have a decent mix between learning and playing, so it is not like he will be forced into extreme studying.

One thing that you should ask yourself honestly. Are you reluctant to send him to school next year because he is your baby? Many parents feel a little redundant once their youngest child starts school.

In this situation I feel you should take your cue from your son. As next summer approaches talk to him from time to time about his options, and if he wants to start school then you should let him. It is only for a few hours a day and it is not an irreversible decision if it it does not go well.

My birthday is in December and I wanted to go to school so badly as a kid I started the April after my birthday and I was moved in to the next year with the rest of my class at the end of the term. I wasn't the youngest in my class either. One girl I was in secondary with was in Uni by the age of 16. (She started school at 3, which she was really proud of.)

Everyone is different and different things suit different people. Take your time over the next year, and if your son is excited about school then give it a try.

Wex1

Thanks for all the feedback - general consensus seems to be for 4.5, despite my feelings that 5.5 is better. By the way, he's not the baby, he has a brother 17.5 months younger than him. And yes a year's less childcare fees would be great.
Another point, my son has been in childcare since he was 18mts, a toddler play group, of which he got a bit bored with (before that he was with a childminder) At the moment he's at home with me and is enjoying the change.

I am going to talk to both the principal and his class teacher later in the year to see what they think and re the other children starting next year and then I may send him to Montessori a couple of mornings after Christmas.

I think the point made about the others in his class being of similar age is important. My eldest son started school 6 weeks after 5 and most of his class are in fact older than him and are a very bright class. Had he been younger he would have struggled but thankfully he's in the top 3. My second started at 4.75 and is over 6 months younger than some of his class but hasn't struggled accademically.
My 3.5 year old is brighter (it seems to me) (or maybe more experienced)than his older siblings were at that age and really socialbe - in fact hangs out with older children whenever he can. Talks non-stop and is what you might call a character!!!

I still don't know what to do - I was just 17 doing my LC and hadn't a clue what I wanted to do. Left uni at 20 and still didn't know what to do! Does anyone see a pattern here......????
Any teachers out there with advice?

popppy

I saw a documentary a few years back, I think it was Panorama, in which they compared the english school system with the scandinavian one. In England they start at 4yrs and Norway they start their formal education at 6 or 7. When they compared the two, it showed that the children in NOrway who started later did much better academically. My son started at 5 years old and he's doing great, but I guess it's up to you. You could probably find something on-line about that study.....good luck, whatever you decide to do !

wexhun

My daughter was 4.5 when she started school and has no problems. I think you should go with your gut feeling though, Mama knows best, if you think hes ready then why hold him back. I know that my lo was getting fed up at montessori and needed the extra stimulation that 'big' school gave her. I know its hard to let them go, its only like yesterday they were babies! They look so small in their little uniforms but your little boy sounds like a clever little lad and I think he might just be ready by September. Good luck with your decision anyway.

niallb

My eldest was 5.5 starting in September,
but had two years of a great Montessori, and
went straight into senior infants.
If the school are open to that, it might be
a good middle ground.

Like you, we're living close to a very small village. There were just 8 new kids in the school this year. Senior and junior infants share a room and that makes things a lot simpler as there are people in the room
at various stages.

It also means he knew a lot of people in the school before going there, all the way up through the school.

If you do decide to keep him until 5.5,
then go with some of the other suggestions,
and give him plenty of play time with other
kids who might be going, or try a Montessori
where he'll get a feel for doing some work
on his own learning at his own pace.

Sparkylark's point above about being the same age for sports when he's older is a really good one. It's one of a couple of things that won't be an issue for 4 or 5 years, but if it becomes
an issue, it'll annoy him.

Enjoy the rest of this year with him anyway.
When he does go to school, he'll start to grow up faster overnight!

NiallB

Victor

popppy wrote:

In England they start at 4yrs and Norway they start their formal education at 6 or 7. When they compared the two,

I'm not sure if you can compare the two "just like that". Different societies. Different childcare. Different pre-school experiences. Different school systems.

Countries where children start school at 6-7 will have some sort of organised "junior school" / Montessorie for 4-6 year olds.

lisa.c

id wait til he was 5...time enough and he'll be off. once he goes thats it your baby is no more hes a little man...hold on to him for as long as you can.

my little man started preschool when he was 2 yrs 10 mths solely for the company of other kids. this is his second year there he loves it but i dread the day he goes to school as it will be official that he cant be at home mon -fri during the scool hours unless he's ill but at least now i can control when he does and dose'nt go.

hillybilly

Hi, everyone. This is my first time to do this so please forgive me if I make any mistakes. I started school having just turned 4 in July. I don't think it did me any harm. I was well able for the work and didn't feel any different to the rest of my classmates. I have a daughter who just turned 3 this month. She is extremely bright, she can count to 30, knows her alphabet and recognises all her letters and numbers. We won't be able to send her next year as she won't be 4 by September. We would love to send her as she is bright enough. I think it depends on the child, if the child is only 4 but you, as his or her parent believe they would be able for it, I say let them go.

Earthhorse

Another vote for 4.5!

I was 3.99999 starting school and 19 finishing college. A little maturity goes a long way.

bennyc

Send him at 4.5 he will only be a few months younger than the rest if you leave it untill he is 5.5 he will be playing footie with kids in the higher class as he will be overage for his own class. Depending on where you are from when It does come down to sports yiu may find it hard for him to join a team where he knows few kids. Besides playschool when you are 5 is a bit old I couldent imagine him putting up with my fella (turned 4) for too long