I found the best wiki article...

nobodythere

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farting

Oh my god that's insane! I just didn't wanna know this stuff!

Memorable quote:

In social situations where the sound of flatulence would be particularly inappropriate a temporary remedy can be obtained by placing a piece of cotton wool or toilet tissue about 4 cm into the anus. If this is done whilst squatting then closure of the buttocks will hold it in place for a considerable period of time. This keeps the anus dry and reduces the velocity of the gas discharge, both of which help to prevent noisy events.

RefulgentGnomon

If sitting on a cushioned surface, the gases can be directed into the open-cell polyurethane foam and somewhat quarantined. Following the fart, standing will not release the odour, in fact, the gases will be further pushed to the centre of the cushion. The gases will not leak out and be detectable, unless the cushion is compressed again under the weight of another person. The use of this phenomenon as a practical joke is obvious.

Binomate

May I ask how you came across this? It's half way down the page!!!

Basq

In Dante's Divine Comedy, the last line of Inferno Chapter XXI reads: ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta ("and he used his ass as a trumpet"), in the last example the use of this natural body function underlined a demoniac condition.

Gotta read that now!

Hmmmmm... wonder could i become the Louis Armstrong of flatulence...?

cregser

RefulgentGnomon wrote:

I've always wondered how that worked. Once again, thank you Wikipedia.

matrim

In August,2005, New Scientist magazine reported that inventors Michael Zanakis and Philip Femano had been awarded a US patent (number 6,055,910) for a "toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly". The abstract of the patent makes it clear that this is, in fact, a fart-powered rocket:

"A ... missile is composed of a soft head and a tail extending therefrom formed by a piston. The piston is telescoped into the barrel of a launcher having a closed end on which is mounted an electrically activated igniter, the air space between the end of the piston and the closed end of the barrel defining a combustion chamber. Joined to the barrel, and communicating with the chamber therein, is a gas intake tube having a normally closed inlet valve. To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent [to] his anal region, from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The igniter is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space."

lostexpectation

I can't lol its 4 in the morning hahahahahah

Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford farted while swearing loyalty to Queen Elizabeth I, and consequently went into self-imposed exile for seven years. After his return, the Queen was reported to have reassured de Vere: "My Lord, I had quite forgotten the fart." (John Aubrey, Brief Lives)

Raphael

basquille wrote:

Gotta read that now!

Hmmmmm... wonder could i become the Louis Armstrong of flatulence...?

Bugger, where's my copy of inferno!

[Jackass]

Brilliant!! If defies belief how smelly noise can be so universally funny!!

For acute situations, it is recommended to spread the buttocks, so as to stretch open the sphincter while the gas is passed. This is best accomplished by sitting on one buttock, shifting body weight laterally, then putting the body weight on the other buttock. The opening will not snap shut and the passage will be silent.

Fuking lolling

Karl Hungus

One of the links is this.

Now that's a job I'd like to have.

Rhyme

Wikipedia wrote:

flatulence is susceptible to catching fire

Wikipedia wrote:

rancid butter smell

I dont know about you but...

Wikipedia wrote:

Emperor Claudius passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread misconception that a person could be poisoned by retaining farts

Or catching fire