Paternity test without mothers consent

easylife

Is there anywhere in Ireland a father and son can have a DNA/Paternity test done in private without the mothers consent?

Miss Fluff

Not sure but a friend of mine took a swab from their kids mouth (wasn't their kid which they found out through the test) and sent it to the U.K. They had the results back within a couple of weeks. Good luck

http://www.cellmark.co.uk/about.html

easylife

Dilema - this has come about from events that have unfolded in relation to a recent separation. I've sent away for a test, but the questions is the following.

What if the child turns out not to be his. At the moment the father is of the mind frame that he is going to prove that it is his, but other people have hinted at possible events surrounding the time of conception that will mean it is not (hence the need to do test) - but I'm not sure he has fully considered the consequences of the test showing the child not to be his.

I personally am not sure whether he should do the test or not. If the child is not his he will lose him and the child is all he has in this world.

Nevyn

If his name is down as the father of the child on the birthcert and he has been
in the child's life as it's father/Dad and he wishes to contune to do so despite
how ever things turn out with the child's mother he should not do the test
at present.

Seperations are messy and hard. A lot of people do things to make them
more complicated while they are emotionally wound up.
It sounds like he has a lot of people bad mouthing his wife/partner pushing
for him to get the test done as a way of proving what a bad person she is
to him.

If he is getting seperated he has already chosen to end his relationship with
this woman. Why would he want to end or bring into doubt his relationship
with his child ? If he is not married there are ways to legally ensure he stays
involved with the child and in the childs life. These are guardianship rights
visitations and all the rest.

Is he in or going to be mediation with his ex ?
oasis.gov.ie/relationships/separation_divorce/family_mediation_service.html

He really should go and talk to a solicator that deals in family law before
going ahead with the test he could have more to loose then to gain.

Zombrex

I second Thaedydal, before he does anything he should sit down with a solicator who specialises in family law and get all the facts about his position and what his rights are. Even if he gets a result privately it might not stand up in court (how does he prove, legally, that it actually came from the kid). He needs to find out what his options are legally, and what is the best way to proceed.

easylife

He is married and his wife has been having affairs all through the marriage. He knows this and she is leaving him for another Man and this is the reason they are currently undergoing separation.
Everyone is thinking that his son does not look like him at all, and one person told him of another Man she was supposedly sleeping with around the time of conception. She was pregnant very soon after that and there was only one possible chance that the his son was his.
He has a solicitor. This is happening in Germany. I dont want to get into the details of the actual separation I'm more interested in advise as to whether or not he should do the test or not.
If he does the test then he will know the result and can take that to the grave with him no matter what. (the test will be a private test).

Sifo

yea he should take the test, although id say she probably has n idea herself as to who the father is!

Zombrex

easylife wrote:

I dont want to get into the details of the actual separation I'm more interested in advise as to whether or not he should do the test or not.
If he does the test then he will know the result and can take that to the grave with him no matter what. (the test will be a private test).

Ignoring the legal side of this, the question is does he need to know one way or another? Personally I would want to know (for medical, legal, just to know the truth reasons). But even if the kid turned out not to be mine, I would not mind knowing because if I have raised him as my own then he would be my son and to me nurture is greater than nature. I would also be concerned that the real father, if it wasn't me, might make a claim in the future, and i would want to be prepared for that by knowing the full truth. But of course this is all hypotheical, I have never been in a situation like that, I don't even have kids (though my father is not my biological "father"). But you friend is probably feeling a wealth of issues at the moment, and he should be careful that is resentment and anger towards his former partner does not cloud his feelings towards the child. Even if the child isn't his he probably stills sees him as his father. Any sudden change in their relationship could have a serious emotional effect on the child. Your friend needs to act delicatly around the child no matter what he decides or what the out come of the test.

So the question is, is your friend prepared for the answer? As well as legal advice I would suggest counciling for your friend as well to help him deal with what is going on.