In Lurve!

LegacyUser · 29-09-2005 1:25pm #1

Hey All!
Got a HUGE problem! I really fancy this bloke. He is soo nice! All I can do is think about him...all day everyday. The problem being I know he doesnt like me. I havent asked him out but I just know! I don't know what it is about this fella but I've liked him for as long as I can remember. I'm just out of a pretty long relationship and know I should be enjoying single life again but I cant! All I can think about is this fella...no joke!
We do get on (with a few drinks on board) but with out the help of the voddie we can barely even talk to each other. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. My friends know how I feel about him (and I'm sure he does too) but they don't know the extent of my feelings for him...HELP

Nevyn · 29-09-2005 2:19pm

send him flowers

AARRRGH · 29-09-2005 2:29pm

Thaed wrote:

send him flowers

Of course, if he isn't gay this may not work

Why not just keep going the way you are going and try to spend more time around him? Get talking to him more? Invite him to a party you're going to?

You have to do something...

Pack3t3rroR · 29-09-2005 2:37pm

Well if you go on the way you are now, you will never know. So bite the bullet and just ask him, that way you will know for sure where you stand. I mean thinking about him all the time etc and doing nothing about it is not healthy. Put yourself at ease ask him!

. Look at it this way:

The worst that can happen is: No
The best that can happen is: Yes

So find out!

Good Luck

pdunno · 29-09-2005 3:10pm

ask him out - no point arsing around about it, if he says no then you can just get over it!!

Kell · 29-09-2005 4:01pm

Ask the dude out or tell him how you feel about him.

Why is this so hard for people? I just dont understand.

K-

Airblazer · 29-09-2005 4:31pm

how do you know he doesn't like you..the fact that he talks to you suggests otherwise..sometimes some relationships start off by people hating each other's guts till they find they have something in common

Dizzyblabla · 29-09-2005 4:45pm

I did it before, if you know he doesn't like you, don't bother.. find someone new to obssess about, all it is really is rebound time anyway, you probably only like him cause he's the first guy to NOT try and get into your knickers since you and your ex broke up...

AARRRGH · 29-09-2005 4:55pm

Dizzyblabla wrote:

...you probably only like him cause he's the first guy to NOT try and get into your knickers since you and your ex broke up...

I really hate this flaw in humans - wanting what you can't have/what treats you bad.

Blondie86Star · 29-09-2005 5:44pm

Like the other posts said the worst that can happen is that he can say no.

Got for it, maybe best when you've had a few, so you can just blame it on the drink if it goes pear shaped!

Nala · 29-09-2005 7:16pm

The best thing you can do is get yourself very drunk and make a move on him.

He says no: You can blame the drink.
He says yes: Result!!!!!!!

I did this before and it works. And he said yes!
Never, ever underestimate the power of "Dutch courage"!!!!!!!!1

jonny68 · 29-09-2005 7:20pm

Thaed wrote:

send him flowers

send him flowers :rolleyes: she has already said he doesn't particulary like her,best thing to do is forget about him,i certainly wouldn't pursue someone if they didn't actually like me :rolleyes:

Jimi-Spandex · 29-09-2005 7:42pm

Nala wrote:

The best thing you can do is get yourself very drunk and make a move on him.

He says no: You can blame the drink.
He says yes: Result!!!!!!!

I did this before and it works. And he said yes!
Never, ever underestimate the power of "Dutch courage"!!!!!!!!1

You fail to take into account the fact that he can blame it on the drink also.

Guy says yes while hammered as he is alot more likely to. Guy then wakes up next morning with hangover and BAM! realises what he's done, ignores the girl for as long as it takes until she goes away causing OP consternation and more than likely a revisit to these here boards.

This is hardly a good scenario.

to the OP, just ask him. It's the easy answer. and good luck.

Chucky the tree · 29-09-2005 7:44pm

Not Tellin! wrote:

We do get on (with a few drinks on board) but with out the help of the voddie we can barely even talk to each other.

take the hint.

Move on as jonny has said.

Jonny Arson · 29-09-2005 7:55pm

Not Tellin! wrote:

Hey All!
Got a HUGE problem! I really fancy this bloke. He is soo nice! All I can do is think about him...all day everyday. The problem being I know he doesnt like me. I havent asked him out but I just know! I don't know what it is about this fella but I've liked him for as long as I can remember. I'm just out of a pretty long relationship and know I should be enjoying single life again but I cant! All I can think about is this fella...no joke!
We do get on (with a few drinks on board) but with out the help of the voddie we can barely even talk to each other. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. My friends know how I feel about him (and I'm sure he does too) but they don't know the extent of my feelings for him...HELP

Maybe the reason both of you don't communicate as well with each other without the alcohol/why you think he doesn't like you is because maybe he secretly likes you and is maybe shy?

You wouldn't be so crazy about this bloke if he didn't like you at all or never talked to you. You said that you do get on with each other with a bit of alcohol so that's why I'm thinking he could be shy with his genuine emotions. Many guys block out their true feelings.

The best thing you can do is as everyone else says ask him out. I get a hinch that you could be surprised by his response but hey you know this bloke, I don't but make sure that if he did say no that you don't spend all of your days thinking about him and getting down about him.

Good luck and give us an update!

Red Alert · 29-09-2005 8:04pm

if you two argue all the time then get him to walk you home after a nite out, worked on me.

LegacyUser · 29-09-2005 8:30pm

Well lads...some great advice here I must say. Maybe some day I'll get the courage to ask him out but I have liked him for so long and haven't done it by now...oh lord to be a six foot leggy blonde...I'd have no probs.
Will keep you all posted...ya never know I might accidently spill coffee over him in work tomorrow and ask him out to make up for it...eh no chance!

Bip · 29-09-2005 9:04pm

Have to say Id advise you not to tell him, speaking from experience its really not nice if when you do confide in him you find out he doesent wanna know... If you know deep down that he doesent wanna be with you then move on! Its really hard but try! If he really likes you he should come get you

jonny68 · 29-09-2005 10:20pm

Not Tellin! wrote:

Well lads...some great advice here I must say. Maybe some day I'll get the courage to ask him out but I have liked him for so long and haven't done it by now...oh lord to be a six foot leggy blonde...I'd have no probs.
Will keep you all posted...ya never know I might accidently spill coffee over him in work tomorrow and ask him out to make up for it...eh no chance!

FFS why are you embarrassing yourself like this,it's clear the geezer isn't into you therefore the best solution is to forget about him and move on,jaysus if that was me and a bird made it clear she wasn't interested or worse still didn't like me there's no way id continue to meet that person in the vain hope they might change their mind,have you no self respect or dignity?

Sorry to be coming across as being blunt but i find it sad that your still hoping that this geezer might change his mind,forget him and move on.

Airblazer · 29-09-2005 10:38pm

do u work in the same dept???#might be uncomfortable for both of ye if he said no..if different then why the hell not??no one lives forever and who wants to be carrying regrets..

Going Demented · 30-09-2005 11:39am

What age are you both? Do you both socialise in the same circles? You say he doesn't like you, how do you know? Is there a mutual friends who could "suss" the situation out for you?

You say you are just out of a long term relationship yet you say "but I've liked him for as long as I can remember" about this guy you are infatuated with. maybe thats what it just is, infatuation. How long are you outta this relationship? Maybe you'd be best off enjoying being single as you stated!

LegacyUser · 30-09-2005 5:45pm

I'd say ask him and get a definitive answer one way or the other. I was in a similar situation myself recently and she said no but at least I knew where I stood and could close the book on it and stop obsessing.

When there's the possibility that you might get together, however remote, not knowing can be a real killer.

Worst that can happen is he says no, and if he does, at least you have closure and can move on.

However, if you work in the same department/room, then it's a lot more complicated and awkward and you'd want to be pretty sure he's into you before making a move.

Good luck!

LegacyUser · 01-10-2005 2:54pm

jonny68 wrote:

FFS why are you embarrassing yourself like this,it's clear the geezer isn't into you therefore the best solution is to forget about him and move on,jaysus if that was me and a bird made it clear she wasn't interested or worse still didn't like me there's no way id continue to meet that person in the vain hope they might change their mind,have you no self respect or dignity?

Sorry to be coming across as being blunt but i find it sad that your still hoping that this geezer might change his mind,forget him and move on.

okay I dont know if you've read the rest of the posts but I've never asked him out, we've never even talked about it. I'm as quiet to him as he is to me so why the agro?

LegacyUser · 01-10-2005 3:09pm

Going Demented wrote:

What age are you both? Do you both socialise in the same circles? You say he doesn't like you, how do you know? Is there a mutual friends who could "suss" the situation out for you?

You say you are just out of a long term relationship yet you say "but I've liked him for as long as I can remember" about this guy you are infatuated with. maybe thats what it just is, infatuation. How long are you outta this relationship? Maybe you'd be best off enjoying being single as you stated!

I think you may be right about the whole infatuated thing, I've had a thing for him since I was about 15. We were meant to "shift" but it never happened. He is just such a nice fella, I dont know why I feel so strongly for him but I do. I am 24 and he is 2 years older than me. We dont really socialise together but meet up sometimes in towm or at work do's. I just don't think he likes me because I'm sure he would have said it by now. We did have a 'texting' thing going on a few months ago when he was off work for a few months but when he came back he was back to his aloof self.
I think maybe with us working together it would be too awkward to say anything and I am fairly shy about these kinda things anyway. I guess I'll have to keep on looking and dreaming :-)

dundalk cailin · 02-10-2005 12:06pm

hey im abroad studyin for the yr n there's a guy in my class i really really like, i only met him a few wks ago, but its so hard to have a conversation with him cos of the language!! its so hard to suss himl out cos i dont really no the girls that well that i cud ask. he seems friendly to me, but nothin more, jus his way. i can hardly ask him direct, as im not that confident speakin in french. i dunno wat to do, keeep thinkn bout him. tho it cud b a thing that the french fellas seem nicer that the irish??

dundalk cailin · 02-10-2005 12:06pm

altho he did help me move yday on a sat n he doesn live in this town..

Faith · 02-10-2005 12:49pm

Just tell him! Trust me, I was in the same situation. I really, really liked my friend and I thought he didn't like me back, but the night before I moved out of the country for university, I had a going away party which he came to. We spent most of the night together and it turned out that he liked me as much as I liked him but we were both too scared to say anything. We left it too late and now we live in different countries, but we're still trying to make a go of it. For the sake of your sanity, just tell him! Then you'll know once and for all.

In Lurve!

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