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Broken Promise

lilmissprincess · 2005-09-28 18:37:18

You hold a glistening object in your palm, I realise what it is too late, You dig it in before I realise. You dig it into my heart. You stab, stab emotion, stab feeling, stab me into a painful blur. You stop. Leave that pin in, reach. Reach out. Another pin lines your palm. And again, you stab. A red trickle is invisible.…

28-09-2005 6:37pm

#1

lilmissprincess

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You hold a glistening object in your palm,
I realise what it is too late,
You dig it in before I realise.
You dig it into my heart.
You stab, stab emotion, stab feeling, stab me into a painful blur.
You stop. Leave that pin in, reach.
Reach out. Another pin lines your palm.
And again, you stab. A red trickle is invisible.
Red, anger. Angry thoughts flood as your pin searches in deeper.
And again you pause.
To let the pain seep in.
These pins, each wreaking havoc upon my soul.
Each pin, carefully selected, ideal for this moment.
Each pin you promised not to stab me with.
Why do you?
Cut. Stop your memories now. They don't belong here.
And neither do you or I.

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Comments

#2 01-10-2005 3:51pm

Politakill

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nice

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#3 01-10-2005 6:42pm

lilmissprincess

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hey,thanks. I think

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#4 01-10-2005 9:23pm

Politakill

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lilmissprincess wrote:

hey,thanks. I think

You think? Take a compliment. Keep on writing, it's good for you

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#5 02-10-2005 5:38pm

lilmissprincess

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Politakill wrote:

You think? Take a compliment. Keep on writing, it's good for you

Yeah, well some people are sarcastic with that kinda thing. Thanks a lot, and yeah, I think I will keep going with the writing. Hey, you've now made my day. Yay.

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#6 02-10-2005 6:28pm

Le Rack

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Huh?
Tis good, a bit all over the place but good.

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#7 03-10-2005 6:42pm

lilmissprincess

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ok, thanks for that...a bit all over the place? Aire used it to show me how I'm mentally and emotionally unstable- and didnt leave a comment!!

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#8 05-10-2005 7:19pm

Le Rack

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don't diss aire

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#9 05-10-2005 10:08pm

ctrl-alt-delete

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Le Rack wrote:

don't diss aire

dont start this crap again...

as for the poem it is a bit all over the place as mentioned above, i didnt enjoy it and dont get it either - but maybe thats my problem and not yours

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#10 10-10-2005 8:28pm

lilmissprincess

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ya, it is my thoughts, people who know the situation should be able to figure it out..

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#11 26-10-2005 4:04pm

ANarcho-Munk

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But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....

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#12 28-10-2005 8:35pm

lilmissprincess

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Yeah, ok, point taken.

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#13 03-11-2005 5:40pm

Dragan

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ANarcho-Munk wrote:

But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....

I disagree. You can't right with a mind towards everyone who reads it can understand it. There is no possible way, else we are just speaking in plain English.

You need a certain degree of ambiguity to your words, or some downright weirdness sometimes.

You need to say what YOU WANT TO SAY!!!!!!!

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#14 03-11-2005 5:55pm

Sarky

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Dragan, please shrink your sig, it goes against the rules by being SODDING HUGE.

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#15 04-11-2005 10:47am

Dragan

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Sorry folks,

that still too big?

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#16 04-11-2005 12:35pm

Da Bounca

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ANarcho-Munk wrote:

But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....

em, no.

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#17 05-11-2005 9:48pm

lilmissprincess

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Well, maybe you should just think of it as yourself the poem is about, that way you can see it from your point of view..I dunno?

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