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Broken Promise

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  • 28-09-2005 7:37pm
    #1
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭


    You hold a glistening object in your palm,
    I realise what it is too late,
    You dig it in before I realise.
    You dig it into my heart.
    You stab, stab emotion, stab feeling, stab me into a painful blur.
    You stop. Leave that pin in, reach.
    Reach out. Another pin lines your palm.
    And again, you stab. A red trickle is invisible.
    Red, anger. Angry thoughts flood as your pin searches in deeper.
    And again you pause.
    To let the pain seep in.
    These pins, each wreaking havoc upon my soul.
    Each pin, carefully selected, ideal for this moment.
    Each pin you promised not to stab me with.
    Why do you?
    Cut. Stop your memories now. They don't belong here.
    And neither do you or I.


Comments

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    #2
    Politakill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 42 ✭Politakill


    nice :)


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    #3
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    hey,thanks. I think


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    #4
    Politakill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 42 ✭Politakill


    lilmissprincess wrote:
    hey,thanks. I think


    You think? Take a compliment. Keep on writing, it's good for you :)


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    #5
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    Politakill wrote:
    You think? Take a compliment. Keep on writing, it's good for you :)

    Yeah, well some people are sarcastic with that kinda thing. Thanks a lot, and yeah, I think I will keep going with the writing. Hey, you've now made my day. Yay.


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    #6
    Le Rack
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    Huh?
    Tis good, a bit all over the place but good.


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    #7
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    ok, thanks for that...a bit all over the place? Aire used it to show me how I'm mentally and emotionally unstable- and didnt leave a comment!!


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    #8
    Le Rack
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    don't diss aire


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    #9
    ctrl-alt-delete
    Registered Users Posts: 13,907 ✭✭✭✭ctrl-alt-delete


    Le Rack wrote:
    don't diss aire

    dont start this crap again...

    as for the poem it is a bit all over the place as mentioned above, i didnt enjoy it and dont get it either - but maybe thats my problem and not yours


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    #10
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    ya, it is my thoughts, people who know the situation should be able to figure it out..


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    #11
    ANarcho-Munk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,397 ✭✭✭ANarcho-Munk


    But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....


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    #12
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    Yeah, ok, point taken.


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    #13
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    ANarcho-Munk wrote:
    But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....

    I disagree. You can't right with a mind towards everyone who reads it can understand it. There is no possible way, else we are just speaking in plain English.

    You need a certain degree of ambiguity to your words, or some downright weirdness sometimes.

    You need to say what YOU WANT TO SAY!!!!!!!


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    #14
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Dragan, please shrink your sig, it goes against the rules by being SODDING HUGE.


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    #15
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Sorry folks,

    that still too big?


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    #16
    Da Bounca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭Da Bounca


    ANarcho-Munk wrote:
    But it should be written so that all can understand without having to know the writer pesonally....


    em, no.


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    #17
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    Well, maybe you should just think of it as yourself the poem is about, that way you can see it from your point of view..I dunno?


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