Pregnant / Job offer??

Brando_ie

Last weekend was a whopper... firstly on Friday my G/F got offered her 'dream' job in a school after an interview a few weeks back, she accepted and handed in notice on current job straight away and is due to take up the position in two weeks from then.. let the celebrations commence!!... Sunday... peed on a stick... turned red, and bingo life is upsidedown!!. She is due at the end of May 06 which strictly speaking is around end of term, but to the point,

Should she come clean and tell her employer before she starts or take the job and 'discover' her situation in a month or so of working?. There is a sugestion that she would have to undertake a medical which possibly makes disclosure moot (colleague had to do medical prior to starting at a different school?) and can the employer withdraw the job offer should her situation become known before she takes up the position.

I'm in the 'say nothing' column but mainly as we are about a week away from taking over our first house (and the mortgage that goes with it). What do you folks think??... moral / legal advice welcome.

KTRIC

It's none of her new employeers business. She was offered the job and she accepted it, end of story. If she does tell them thats she's pregnant and they withdraw the offer she could take the next 3 years off and live off the compensation claim for descrimination.

super_furry

Depends if she has to work a probationary period or not. If not, I'd say nothing and then just before it gets visually obvious tell them, feigning shock about the pregnancy.

little boy blue

wrote:

Last weekend was a whopper... firstly on Friday my G/F got offered her 'dream' job in a school after an interview a few weeks back, she accepted and handed in notice on current job straight away and is due to take up the position in two weeks from then.. let the celebrations commence!!... Sunday... peed on a stick... turned red, and bingo life is upsidedown!!. She is due at the end of May 06 which strictly speaking is around end of term, but to the point,

Should she come clean and tell her employer before she starts or take the job and 'discover' her situation in a month or so of working?. There is a sugestion that she would have to undertake a medical which possibly makes disclosure moot (colleague had to do medical prior to starting at a different school?) and can the employer withdraw the job offer should her situation become known before she takes up the position.

I'm in the 'say nothing' column but mainly as we are about a week away from taking over our first house (and the mortgage that goes with it). What do you folks think??... moral / legal advice welcome.

Yes come clean’’ I don’t think there will be any problems, she should just be honest.

Sangre

Even if she lies and they later found out she was they still can't do anything.
Tell them, take the job and then take maternity leave when it comes.
There is no situation here, they can't not hire her now. Its the law.

chump

It's a good time for her to be having the baby isn't it?
Around May... Kids get off in June, so they'll just need a sit-in teacher (or whatever) for 1 month. And by end of summer she'll be ready to go back and enjoy half days for full time wage!

kittenkiller

Brando, Congratulations!
Wow, a dreams job, a pregnancy within an obviously loving committed relationship, managing to get a mortgage...
Christ, well done!
I'm jealous!
Let your girlfriend keep schtum for the time being.
If any questions are asked by the school, let her skirt around the issue & feign surprise when she has to announce the good news in a month or two.

Again, congratulations!

Nevyn

First of congratulations to the both of you.

They are not ment to test for pregancy with in the bounds of a medical for a job.

I started a new job and 2 weeks of starting found out I was pregant.
You just get on with it, these things happen, employers understand.

I do think she should say nothing until she has started.
Most people do not disclose a pregancy until they are over the first 3 mnth
simple due to the possibity of miscarragies ( very slim but that is traditional).

HAs she signed the contract with her start date on it ?

Linoge

I think shes only legally obliged to give them about 4 months notice. I dont think you should bother until after she starts. Giving them 8 months notice is being nice to them.

But then again, i dont think there would be any problem telling them, it would probably mean a bit less stress for her

embee

You are supposed to let your employer know as quickly as possible about your pregnancy, but for obvious reasons, she would be better off waiting until she is at LEAST 12 weeks pregnant. Then she goes into the "safe" period where the risk of miscarraige is lower. I myself am 23 weeks pregnant, and told my employers when I was 13 weeks. My being pregnant has no impact on the ability to do my job, and they still urge my to apply for promotions that are coming up. I was only in my job 4 months when I found out, but they can't retract a job offer because she's pregnant.

Congratulations, and a happy and healthy nine months to the three of ye! (Assuming its not twins, or more..... )

_Turismo4

Come clean with your employer, or you could end up being worrying and that can’t be good for the baby.
I sure the employer will understand.

Take care…

Beruthiel

At the end of the day, your mortgage payments are important, I would also be of the opinion that she should say nothing for a month or so, after all, if she hadn't done the test, she wouldn't know either.
congrats btw

seamus

I think what the ladies here say is reasonable. Even in normal circumstances, many people hold off telling anyone, including employers, till the 12 week/3 month mark has passed. So I don't see why there should be an exception in this case.

Congrats.

annR

I'm not sure what the legalities are in the case but it is definitely the norm not to say anything until she's gone past the 3 months.

Gillo

An employer can't legally discriminate against an employee because she is pregnant, AFAIK that also extends to job offers so her job would be safe in that respect she shouldn't worry about telling the school.

AnnaR; I hadn't realised that it's the norm to say nothing for the first 6 months, but from an employers point of view I'd guess that they would prefer to be told sooner rather than later so they can make arrangements for maternity cover.

If you gf is starting a new job, chances are she will have a meeting in the next few weeks, kinda like a review to see how she is getting on, thats prob the best time to bring it up.

seamus

gillo wrote:

AnnaR; I hadn't realised that it's the norm to say nothing for the first 6 months, but from an employers point of view I'd guess that they would prefer to be told sooner rather than later so they can make arrangements for maternity cover.

I think everyone's kind of tiptoeing around it, given that it's good news, but the reason people tend to hold back for 3 months is because that's generally accepted as the threshold after which a miscarriage is unlikely. Many people miscarry in the first 12 weeks, so it's considered prudent not to announce to all and sundry until that point.

Nevyn

gillo wrote:

An employer can't legally discriminate against an employee because she is pregnant.

She has to be an employee for that to be so.
If she has not yet signed a contract they may find a very differnt reason
why she is not suitible for the job despite the fact she has already
handed in her notice for her other job.

In such a case it would be very hard to prove it was the pregancy that was the
reason and not something else that they may choose to state.

3mnths is the general time to inform people.
Employees get pregant and employers have guildlines and plans put in place to deal with it when it happens.

Beruthiel

seamus wrote:

Many people miscarry in the first 12 weeks, so it's considered prudent not to announce to all and sundry until that point.

that's exactly it, anything can happen in the first 12 weeks, imagine you told everyone and then had to turn around and take it all back again.
Bad enough that something so horrible could happen, but having to tell everyone on top of that would be too much. Better to be safe than sorry.

newgrange

Agree on the say nothing til 12 weeks issue, for obvious reasons.
If she is teaching in the school, make sure she joins the union ASAP, just in case she runs into any problems. Worth joining the relevant union if she is in a non-teaching position too.

Re maternity leave, thanks to strong unions, if she as a wholetime teacher goes on maternity leave in April (and thus uses a month of her holidays as maternity leave), she will also have September off, as she cannot lose out on holiday entitlements due to maternity leave.

Maternity leave is no big deal for schools to deal with.

Sangre

Thaed wrote:

She has to be an employee for that to be so.
If she has not yet signed a contract they may find a very differnt reason
why she is not suitible for the job despite the fact she has already
handed in her notice for her other job.

In such a case it would be very hard to prove it was the pregancy that was the
reason and not something else that they may choose to state.

Nope, not true at all.

It does apply to job offers and potential employees, if it didn't you could refuse to hire someone because they were black despite being the most qualified etc.,

It would be quite easy to prove that it is because of pregnancy because she was offered the job and then told them she was pregnant, quite plain actually.

The only reason not to tell is because its quite early.

(I've studied employment law)

RainyDay

Sangre wrote:

Nope, not true at all.

It does apply to job offers and potential employees, if it didn't you could refuse to hire someone because they were black despite being the most qualified etc.,

It would be quite easy to prove that it is because of pregnancy because she was offered the job and then told them she was pregnant, quite plain actually.

The only reason not to tell is because its quite early.

(I've studied employment law)

You need to distinguish between theory and practice. In theory, you are quite correct. In practice, it would be very difficult, stressful & time-consuming for the candidate to take a case to prove her point. She has nothing to gain by telling the employer now.

Take the job, and tell them when the time comes.

gom

I'd have to agree with most of the previous posters. SHe shouldn't say a thing to anyone in the job or her employers for at least 3 months.

On the social side of the job it would probably serve her better not to announce her pregnency until she knows most people in work. That way it will act as a bonding tool and other employees will be more supportive of your gf expecting...

On the issue of the Medical. I work in the Medical screening business and it is highly unlikely that they will ask her to piss on a rod. Usually its BMI, Blood Pressure, Blood Sugar, Cholesterol and if she is a smoker Spirometry and CO levels that are tested etc. Specific details of a Medical are legally confidential. Your employer just gets the word that you are (Healthy/UnHealthy/Extremely UnHealthy etc) for insurance purposes.

Good luck and congratulations on the trible of a baby on the way, your gf in her dream job and a morgage in the making.
Now go take her out tonight and have a nice meal

Sangre

RainyDay wrote:

You need to distinguish between theory and practice. In theory, you are quite correct. In practice, it would be very difficult, stressful & time-consuming for the candidate to take a case to prove her point. She has nothing to gain by telling the employer now.

Take the job, and tell them when the time comes.

I take your point there, it might take a while to sort out but RETRACTING an offer after relieving your pregnant is a pretty open and shut case but going to court is such a hassle. Although the labour courts, equality tribunals etc., do make it a fair bit easier.

magpie

This may not be the time/or place, but anyone think its time for a Swedish-style system where the Father also gets time off (actually a year)? If for no other reason than equality.

dudara

You're right. This isn't the place Magpie. Take it to Humanities or Parenting

Pack3t3rroR

First off, congrads on the baby and your g/f new job. I do agree with waiting 12 weeks before saying anything. Wish you both luck with all the major changes that are about to happen you guys

Victor

First off, congratulations.

Brando_ie wrote:

. Sunday... peed on a stick... turned red, and bingo life is upsidedown!!.

Has she been to the doctor yet? There is the small possibility of a false return on the home kits.

I wouldn't say anything until those results are back.

How does all this affect your mortgage or does it?

RainyDay

gom wrote:

On the issue of the Medical. I work in the Medical screening business and it is highly unlikely that they will ask her to piss on a rod.

I did a pre-employment medical at a Dublin GP today, and I had to provide a sample. [Strangely enough, the doc left a glass in the bathroom and advised me to pee in the glass - hope he never gets the glasses mixed up in the dishwasher]. As I'm a bloke, I doubt if he did a pregnancy test.

Sangre

magpie wrote:

This may not be the time/or place, but anyone think its time for a Swedish-style system where the Father also gets time off (actually a year)? If for no other reason than equality.

The father does get time off if he so chooses, its just not paid. Check the Parental Leave Act.

LDB

Sangre wrote:

I take your point there, it might take a while to sort out but RETRACTING an offer after relieving your pregnant is a pretty open and shut case but going to court is such a hassle. Although the labour courts, equality tribunals etc., do make it a fair bit easier.

Yes it may be an open and shut case and the equality tribunal is a simple process, however it is not a fast process they have a backlog of cases. It can be a timeconsuming and stressful process - which I'm sure can not be good for the baby.

~L

Brando_ie

Thanks to all you guys for your advice. It has helped a lot in deciding that we should wait until the 12 weeks at the very least (prob a little longer in case). We would have done so had the job offer not been on the table and should not let our hand be tipped because of it. Thanks for all the congratulations btw, my head hasn't stopped spinning since last week and it was good to get some constructive advice if only to leave my brain simmering away on the backburner!!..... and right about now, it's fully cooked, on to the next thing!!....

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

First off, congratulations.Has she been to the doctor yet? There is the small possibility of a false return on the home kits.

Not true at all. You can get a false negative, but you can't get a false positive. Basically the test measures pregnancy hormones. In very early pregnancy the hormone level may not be high enough to be detected, but if pregnancy hormones are showing up, and the stick is red, then she is definitely pregnant! Congrats BTW.