Leech

LegacyUser

I have just started college, and a person from my old secondary school keeps following me around. Not freakily, but even if I want to leave he follows me. This used to happen in secondary school too, but it eventually stopped. He leeched onto everybody in the school at one stage. He's a person who has absolutely no social skills, and that's the reason why he does this. Like today, I wanted to just get away from him, I told him that I was going to do some shopping, he just decided that he would too. He went to get somthing to eat, I ran and turned off my fone! Im sick of it, how do I get him to **** off?

Squirrel

Tell him to **** off perhaps, or say you're going out with your girlfriend

kestrel

i've have had many, many MANY experiances with people like that. there are two ways you can go about it-
tell them bluntly that you don't want them to keep hanging off you. this way hurts them ALOT and makes you feel like ****.
or, there is the way i have come to be an expert at. phase them out. don't laugh at their jokes. always seem busy. don't do anything whatsoever to encourage conversation or interaction. don't answer phonecalls or texts. i know it seems the cowards way out, and it probably is, but it's a gentler way of getting through to them and i really believe it's the better way.

secret_squirrel

OR maybe you should sit down like an adult and explain to him calmly and rationally why following you around isnt acceptable and how he needs to find some friends of his own?

rainbow kirby

Lol... we've got a guy in college who acts like that. He's got no social skills and he's been following us around for years now! He's in 4th year now, and still following us around even though we've been trying to get rid of him since 1st year

Tobias Greeshman

Ah in all fairness I think every college has one of these... If I recall back in the first few weeks of 1st year this guy tried to leech into us. I dont think anyone really knew him at all, he didn't even try to spark a conversation with us so we didn't either. After a week or two he wasn't around us anymore. That approach seems to work fine in most cases, so give it a try, except in Kirbys case maybe

Red Alert

yeah there's one or two of those around the place in engineering too. not too many mind.

just ignore him, although he seems pretty determined.

Chong

The phasing out just wont work for me no matter how hard I try this guy at college wont get the bloody point. It affects me having a proper laugh with a good friend of mine in my class cause he hates the other guy with a passion.

Xterminator

This person you dont want following you around, has all the ame feelings and insecurities you have too.

So while there is nothing wrong with wanting to distance yourself, please behave in a manner that does not humiliate or distress this person unnessacarily.

Remember the old addage of "do unto other as you would have tem do unto you!"

What is the nicest way you can deal with this?

I'd say invite him out for a pint, one on one. Explain you are unhappy with the situation, and incicate you dont want him to 'assume' he is invited to tag along everywhere.

If you can find it in yourself, still offer to b a friend, and try to include him in the odd group invitation to drinks, social events etc.

X

Tiffany

Xterminator wrote:

I'd say invite him out for a pint, one on one. Explain you are unhappy with the situation, and incicate you dont want him to 'assume' he is invited to tag along everywhere.

But this would only confuse the leecher more. He'll think he's made a new drinking buddy, then to be told "leave me alone".

Third_Echelon

pinch his arse or try to kiss him....

this will have 1 of 2 effects....

WhiteWashMan

just start to ignore them or just plain old straight out say 'go away, stop following me around'

dramaqueen

Just say - "Right I'm off, see you later."
When he asks where you are going be vague, you have stuff to do or you fancy being alone etc.
If he tries to follow then tell him that you are feeling a little bit stifled and would appreciate it if he gave you some space.
I think it's always better to say something in the moment as opposed to arranging to meet someone just so you can tell them something.

Fraggle

I was in a similar situation a while, this person at college who had been an acquaintance began to call me every day, text constantly and generally bug me. I was at my wits end and began to get freaked out. I actually did genuinely like this person initially but their behaviour was just so intense and needy that for the first time in my life, I actually felt like I had to dump a friend!A chill would run down my spine every time I saw a missed call or another text saying "Hey haven't heard from you in a while..." It was real stalker-mania and very unnerving.What made it worse was the fact that this person is very physical, always hugging and being affectionate,punching on the shoulder etc.It used to make my skin crawl.

The best advice I can give you is... please try not to do the whole, taking someone aside to have a gentle word thing.There is nothing more mortifying than to have someone patronise you by smugly saying "Listen, I understand you ain't got many friends... but I'm not gonna be one either."You could totally destroy any confidence they have!

What you should do is... ignore texts, calls etc. If you find this difficult then do it now and again at first, then increase it to all calls and texts. If they start following you, go to the nearest gents and say half joking/half serious "Jayziz will ya give a man a bit of peace to relieve himself?For ****s sake!"Little hints dropped along the way should do the trick. Following you to the grocery store when you're doing your shopping is a bit stomach-churning I must admit. Try acting like a moody bastard whenever he's around and be all like "Here, I've got some stuff goin' on right now and I really just want to be on my own..."
Best of luck anyway. You may have to be a bit of a prick to get this problem sorted but I understand how frustrating it must feel.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

just pretend your gay and start touching him all over and then emmbarise him and stuff, he will drop like a fly

StupidLikeAFox

dramaqueen wrote:

Just say - "Right I'm off, see you later."
When he asks where you are going be vague, you have stuff to do or you fancy being alone etc.
If he tries to follow then tell him that you are feeling a little bit stifled and would appreciate it if he gave you some space.
I think it's always better to say something in the moment as opposed to arranging to meet someone just so you can tell them something.

Im with this guy(girl?)

kestrel

there really is no easy way to deal with these people. normally, i would advise what some have been saying and do it nicely, gently, but having experianced it myself, the only way to get through to them is with heavy handed hints and doing things that seem a bit harsh, but are kinder in the long run. talking to them calmly kills them, giving them the cold shoulder gives them the message sooner or later (they don't tend to pick hints up very well!) in a way that doesn't directly make them feel like ****.