Please can I have advice?

LegacyUser

Hello,
I am really desperate because I have come to the internet to get advice but here I go:
I am 19, working and am only one year out of school. I find it difficult to get along with people of all ages. I live at home and have no friends, and am really getting down and blue about it. I cant have just a typical conversation with someone and I get isolated because I come across as a little different. I talk to people and everything, but still I have no friends that I can go to. NONE.

I dont know what I am doing wrong and I dont know how to make my life worth living. Especially when this weather is like this, it makes me feel worse.

Please, is there anyone who could offer some advice who is in the same prediciment as me?

Vikings

I know how you feel, I was like that a few years ago when I was around about 15, after I did transition year in school I had made a few friends but what really changed me was taking up a hobby. I joined an american football team and things really took off for me, I made loads of new friends and I got out more. Training every week, games every few weeks, pubs after games and training etc..

Is there any sports or clubs that you could join/have an interest in? That would be the best place to start.

jrey1981

I have a brother who is in a similar situation, the same age, and is having a tough time, so I can sympathise with your predicament to some degree.

Do you have any brothers or sisters, or will your parents listen to how you feel?

It sounds to me like there may be some underlying issue that is causing you to feel the way you feel...?

Vangelis

An suggestion for you:
Find out what you would like to do together with other people. Find a club/team/organisation with members who have the same interests as you.
Meeting people with the same interests as you will make you feel much better and you might even find a best friend!

pclancy

Get out and soak yourself in society. New hobby, new club, new pastime, new pub to drink in just anything that will connect you with new people. What are you interested in? If you're into somethig then you're guaranteed other people are either where u live or online, theres people out there just like you with the same interests and feelings about life. Most important thing for you to do is increase the amount of people you come in contact with and its best if they share your interests, you'll have common ground to talk about.

If you're lonely dont be afriad to go into online chatrooms for a bit of banter with other humans. Yahoo chat is fairly decent and you'll meet some nice people that are there for the same reasons as you, just to talk to people.

Kell

pclancy wrote:

Get out and soak yourself in society.

Never a truer word said.

OP - rather than wallow in "I can't do x, y & z and I never fit in" how about you tell us what you HAVE done to fix the problem, or even attempted to try and fix the problem.

Life is a wonderful tapestry of people. Decide what your looking for and go and find it in the picture. Its a bit just to the left of centre.

K-

_Turismo4

wrote:

I am really desperate because I have come to the internet to get advice but here I go:
I am 19, working and am only one year out of school. I find it difficult to get along with people of all ages. I live at home and have no friends, and am really getting down and blue about it. I cant have just a typical conversation with someone and I get isolated because I come across as a little different. I talk to people and everything, but still I have no friends that I can go to. NONE.

I dont know what I am doing wrong and I dont know how to make my life worth living. Especially when this weather is like this, it makes me feel worse.

Please, is there anyone who could offer some advice who is in the same prediciment as me?

A good way to make new friends is to join a sports club, for example a tennis club is a defiant way to make new friends.
You don’t even have to play much tennis, just socialize,
Give it a go, what have you got to lose!

Watchful

Have you always been like this? Or is is just lately that you've been having difficulties socially? If its the latter it might be helpful to try and find out whats changed, (in you or otherwise) to make you feel like this. If you've always been like this then its definatly time to make a changeas its getting you down!
Think about what you want, what you enjoy and then have ago.
Nothing like a personal revolution to make you fele alive!

Supercell

MondayBoy wrote:

Hello,
I am really desperate because I have come to the internet to get advice but here I go:
I am 19, working and am only one year out of school. I find it difficult to get along with people of all ages. I live at home and have no friends, and am really getting down and blue about it. I cant have just a typical conversation with someone and I get isolated because I come across as a little different. I talk to people and everything, but still I have no friends that I can go to. NONE.

I dont know what I am doing wrong and I dont know how to make my life worth living. Especially when this weather is like this, it makes me feel worse.

Please, is there anyone who could offer some advice who is in the same prediciment as me?

Ok self exam time, turn on tv (if you dont have one use a blank peice of paper and write down)..watch whatever...do it until you become interested, and then until you laugh at something..

What did/do you find amusing and what is/was interesting?
Find other ppl that like the same, you may be suprised to find that there are plenty of others with similar interests desperate to find ppl with similar interests as the "normal" stuff is just mind numbing...
Unless you know what interests you...then you wont know how to find ppl that interest you (and who will find you interesting!!).
Good luck on your quest..and +1 for being non standard..yer more interesting than the norm !!

[Jackass]

Man, If there's one thing you do today..and people might think this sounds stupid, but forget them...get "Tony Robbins; Get The Edge". I swear to you now..If you listen to that, follow the instructions, go into it with an open mind and take it really seriously, i'm not joking you, it will turn your life around.

It did for me. From the way you think, to how to focus, organise your life and achieve...it's unbelieveable...I started listening to it out of a bit of desperation, and my god, it was the best thing I ever did.

It's illegal to download this from Limewire or whatever so i sugest you visit his website and pay about €400 for it.

Good luck mate

[edit]
I should just add, if someone said to me I listen to that stuff about 2 years ago, I would have laughed...I never believed/took that stuff serious, I just thought it was a big gimmick. So do me a favour, just listen to 10 or 20 minutes..If you still think it's stupid then turn it off. But I guarentee you, you will listen to the entire series.

shakenbake

Hi, about 10yrs ago I felt like I was in a very similiar position to yourself.
One of the things I learnt in that time was that you can become conditioned to behave like you do because you feel you should behave in this manor. In my case it was quiteness/shyness. For me this was only one factor in a multitude of them, however, it was poigniant one. It still is actually.

Something that had a profound impact on me was actually travelling and I'd implore you to do the same. Save up some dosh and get away from the ****ty depressing weather for a year or two. Get away on your own and leave any preconceptions about who you are and how you should behave behind. It forces you to get out there and speak to new people and befriend new people. Believe me you'll meet plenty of great people. It took me out of my shell anyways. When you're relaxed, having a good time and theirs no pressure it's the perfect environment to shine in. It's a real confidence builder.

You don't really go into what exactly you feel the problem is in your post actually? I'm just presuming it's shyness/alofness?

Beruthiel

You are young, free and single, the world is your oyster and you are only limited by your fears.
If you want to do something badly enough, you will. Work out what that is and do it, there is nothing stopping you unless you just give in to fear

sutty

I would have been in the same boat as your-self OP when I was your age. All my mates where starting college and I was starting working in IT. Everyone I worked with was at least 5 years my older. Very hard to find things in commen with. But then again I didn't always find something in commen with them. I just went out on work nights out and got drunk with them. (I got a PM there last week from one of them that I had not heard from in like 3 years)

You will get along with people, once you open your-self up to a little change in your life.

I also joined boards. Met a ton of people I get on great with. (theres alot of wiredos on here. They are cool )

/me runs from friends I just called wiredos