really low and need some advice

eugjvkudsvu

I´ve suffered from depression for years, and I´m just sick of being sad, empty and lonely.
I´ve seen a counsellor and thats a relief for a short time, and also taken tabs but thats a quick fix.
I want to be well again, I´m sick of talking about problems...and I´m wondering is there any benefit of going into some residential place to get fixed up.
Is there such a place?
I don´t have any addictions, and treat others well...but when im down i cut myself and I know this is not a healthy way to live.
I´m ashamed of how i think and how i cope, and i realise its not a very manly way to be as it seems to be common among some depressed women.
So, Is there any point in me going into some sort of clinic, is there such place in Ireland cause I´m at the end of my wick and Í´ve had enough of counsellors and tablets and I am sick of talking about my feelings as its getting me nowhere.
Need some advice, after tablets and counsellors is there anything else I can do?
Tried all the exercise/meeting new people lark..
sorry for the positive tone of the post but I was hoping there could be someone out there who beat their problems.
Thanks in advance

Victor

I've been there or close to there. Its very hard to accept, but this may be a situation that will be with you for a long time, it becomes more manageable, but may not go away completely.

eugjvkudsvu wrote:

I´m ashamed of how i think and how i cope, and i realise its not a very manly way to be as it seems to be common among some depressed women.

I'm not sure if this is the way I would think about it. 5% of breast cancer cases are men.

FranknFurter

I've been there too,....
And man or woman makes no difference.

Today im ok. but I know that tomorrow might be different.
I know that every day. Took a long time to accecpt it tho.

The only way I know, and its different for everyone, is to try and force yourself (yes, in the beginning you may have to force yourself, it may feel like "running on auto-pilot" for a while) .....to take life day by day.
Not future,
not past,
just today.

I dunno if im even making any sense to you here, but.......
somthing I *will* say, that you may not wanna hear again........... saying things out loud to somone *does* often help, but its not a quick fix, it can take weeks months or years, but finally some switch in your head begins to flip, and you find your own way of coping.

b

b3t4

eugjvkudsvu wrote:

I want to be well again, I´m sick of talking about problems...and I´m wondering is there any benefit of going into some residential place to get fixed up.

I'm afraid there isn't any quick fixes. Have you told your counsellor that you are sick of talking about problems?? I can't see a reason for you to go to a treatment centre.

I don´t have any addictions, and treat others well...but when im down i cut myself and I know this is not a healthy way to live.

Nope, it isn't the best way to cope but if you deal with the depression first, stopping the cutting gets easier (cutting is very addictive so it will take a very long time to stop but it is possible).

I am sick of talking about my feelings as its getting me nowhere.

Another thing you need to say to your counsellor.

Need some advice, after tablets and counsellors is there anything else I can do?

How I learnt to deal with things..
a) I let my friends in. I can now recognise when I'm on a downward spirral and tell my friends that I'm feeling low (they don't need to know the true extent) and they help pick me up before the fall. It doesn't work all the time but it helps take the edge off.
b) I do not let people who are willing to mess me around stick around in my life.
c) I allow myself me time.
d) When low I do at least one thing that I really like to do e.g. having a cup of hot choc in a nice park

I cope better now than I did in the past but I still get my bad days. I think that because I have my bad days I can appreciate the good ones all that more.

Best of luck,
A.

OMcGovern

>when im down i cut myself

Did you tell any counsellors about cutting yourself ?
There's a lot of on-line information, and forums on the subject of "self injury".

http://www.self-injury-abuse-trauma-directory.info/Completed%20Files/Self-harm-self-injury_forums_groups_message-boards.htm

It seems to be one way the mind tries to cope with overwhelming emotions.

I'm not sure what other ways there are to release emotions in a more positive way.... maybe keep a personal diary to completely unload your brain when things get too much ? I used to do that the odd time.... at the very least it will give you a good nights sleep after it.

Some people get through life by actively setting up little rewards for themselves, things to look forward to, on various timescales.
Little rewards, like a nice lunch during the day, or circle all the good TV programs you want to watch over the next week in the TV guide.
Medium term rewards, like a short break away, a good film in the cinema, comedy show. Maybe try something new, there might be an orchestra playing in the National concert hall, or visit the national art gallery.

Not sure if any of that helped.... but hope I didn't offend or patronise in any way.

regards,
Owen

Siogfinsceal

I was depressed for years. went nuts at around 16 got sent to a concellor and when she refused to see me , to a psychiatrist. got to point where I didnt want to leave the house or talk to anyone. Ended up on awful drugs called seroxat extremely addictive and they just make u numb. Ended up going cold turkey which got me off the drugs but the after effects made me depressed again cutting etc.



Then something happened. I went to a phsycic with a friend for a laugh. he told me I had a choice but that if I kept going as I was I would end up dead in months. It made me realise how lucky I was to be alive. Yes I had plenty of reasons to be depressed but at the end of the day the only way to get better is to want to get better. I threw myself into work and my hobby. You need to find a hobby its v important. I made myself make the effort to go out to get to know people. It takes a long long time but now im off the drugs, I have a boyfriend who loves me and im building up life again. For me the hardest part has been trying to catch up on all the years I missed out on when I was younger. So wat im trying to say is I wish you all the best look at this post - so many people cared enough to write back!!! the cure is not councellors who are getting padi to care its real life - family, friends, etc. i also started using a sunbed once a week (i know i know they are meant to be bad for you) but I have dark skin and it turns out I suffer from SAD and this helps alot. I also changed my diet which makes a huge difference it sounds mad but give it a try. !

Siogfinsceal

as for the cutting....please stop. I know it is very hard but believe me if you accidently cut too hard one day you will regret it. Imfine in winter but in summer I still wear loads of bracelets on my arm to hide scars its so awkward when people ask questions, i wish i had never done it - i never let me self do it anymore no matter how bad i feel its not worth it

ek23

I guess you could say ive been fighting depression for a while....but by my next piece you mite tink im just sick...we all have our own opinions. the following is a bit of poetry from a dark day i had.

IF YOU CUT YOURSELF YOU WILL FEEL BETTER THE NEXT DAY
IF YOU KILL YOURSELF YOU WONT HAVE 2 FEEL
IF YOU DONT LISTEN THEN CUT OFF YOUR EARS
WHEN YOU SUFFER HURT YOURSELF SOME MORE FOR ASSURANCE
(u.nkown)

BEFORE YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SLEEP
BEFORE YOU WAKE UP AND SEE
BEFORE TIME TAKES WHAT YOU HAVE
BEFORE YOU LEAVE AND GO FROM HERE
WE ALL HOLD FLAWS-SOME DEEP INSIDE
WE ALL WILL HURT-SOME SOONER THEN LATER
WE ALL WILL DIE-THATS OUR DECISION.
(greenbook-ek2k)

"i do not fear death, i fear life itself"