I dunno wat to do?

half_life_man

i hate my life so much. i'm 15 all my friends have gf's and i never had one. thats not the worst part i always feel tired , i sometimes have visions of killin myself, i really feel sad and i keep gettin a pain in my stomach everyday(for the past 5/6 months). i come home sometimes and i'm always so depresses but when i'm at skool i pretend not to be depressed. i dunno wat to do

Bam Bam

Counselling

Laguna

Don't worry big guy, I know it sounds clichéd, but you're only 15, contrary to popular belief, not everyone has a girlfriend at that age (I didn't). Take it easy man, you'll meet someone I'm sure, School isn't the best place for relationships anyway, they tend not to last longer than a week anyway!

CrimE

Hello there mate,

Seriously dont worry about the girlfriend thing. being 15 and not having had a girlfriend is nothing to be ashamed of at all. The way you are describing how you feel sounds alot like depression to me. This can be very serious and you need to talk to someone about it. Ignoring it is not the right thing to do at all. The pain in your stomach could also have something to do with depression but I wouldnt be sure, you should definetly have yourself checked out by a doctor, again dont let it be.

Hope you turn a corner soon and start feeling better about yourself and get some help or even just talk about your feelings to someone you trust.

All the best.

ratboy

15, jaysus i hadn't seen a girl by then.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

JC 2K3

Been there, I'm 16 now and all is well, although girls **** with your head...

Baz_

First of all, everyone's head is ****ed up at 15. Damn bastard hormones! That will get better in the future, not saying completely, but will abate somewhat.

i always feel tired

Not trying to be mean or insulting, but are you overweight. Constantly being tired can be as a result of many things: lack of exercise, not eating properly (be it too much, wrong food types, simply not enough of the right food types), the depression you spoke of (which a lot of the time leads to overeating). Any one of them things or any combination thereof can lead to weight problems. If you do have weight problems and you really want to take control of your life, that is a brilliant place to start. The feeling of confidence and empowerment you get can lead you to the motivation to sort out other things in your life.

Gonna stop now, because for all I know I'm preaching to the converted, but if you do need to lose weight just pm me and I'll try to give you a few pointers (I recently had to lose a bit of weight so I've been there).

As for the girlfriend at fifteen. My first girlfriend was at age 19, so its really not all that uncommon... (I know of others like me).

half_life_man

Baz_ wrote:

First of all, everyone's head is ****ed up at 15. Damn bastard hormones! That will get better in the future, not saying completely, but will abate somewhat.



Not trying to be mean or insulting, but are you overweight. Constantly being tired can be as a result of many things: lack of exercise, not eating properly (be it too much, wrong food types, simply not enough of the right food types), the depression you spoke of (which a lot of the time leads to overeating). Any one of them things or any combination thereof can lead to weight problems. If you do have weight problems and you really want to take control of your life, that is a brilliant place to start. The feeling of confidence and empowerment you get can lead you to the motivation to sort out other things in your life.

Gonna stop now, because for all I know I'm preaching to the converted, but if you do need to lose weight just pm me and I'll try to give you a few pointers (I recently had to lose a bit of weight so I've been there).

As for the girlfriend at fifteen. My first girlfriend was at age 19, so its really not all that uncommon... (I know of others like me).

I'm not overweight if anything i'm to skinny. I also go to the gym. Sometimes i have a cravin 4 food nd eat loads other times i dnt feel like eatin at all.

Baz_

Thats good and bad I guess.

Good that you're healthy.

Bad that the problem is deeper than merely physical. Physical ailments are more easily treated, but emotional/psychological ones can be harder. Don't give up hope though, just based on that, for all we know it could even be easier...

It might just be that you need to go to someone for a confidential chat for one hour a week. Counselling/therapy might not be for you for the long term, but in the short term a good therapist should be able to at least point you in the right direction.

As regards your tiredness/lethargy, that is merely a trick of the mind. As real as it seems, and as hard as it can be to fight, it is possible to turn it off like the flick of a switch if you try hard enough. Again a good therapist should be able to show you the techniques that will enable you to do this.

Anyway, good luck, don't be too negative towards counselling, and just try not to let yourself get down. Force yourself to smile for an extra minute a day, try it now even, the strength of a smile does wonders.

Enough pseudopsychobabble, off to bed with me.

Baz_

P.S. Take all advice on here with a pinch of salt, including mine, seek professional help if you feel the need, and don't just ignore these problems. Most important of all, find someone you are comfortable confiding in.

lazylad

half_life_man wrote:

i hate my life so much. i'm 15 all my friends have gf's and i never had one. thats not the worst part i always feel tired , i sometimes have visions of killin myself, i really feel sad and i keep gettin a pain in my stomach everyday(for the past 5/6 months). i come home sometimes and i'm always so depresses but when i'm at skool i pretend not to be depressed. i dunno wat to do

It comes in time for everyone. Dont worry about your friends they have probs like you too! only they know how to blank them out! 15 god when i was that age i was having the time of my life without girlfriends. I used to get workd up over things like you are but really Im like you in the future talking and really "it dont matter"! My friends were mad b*stads who used to play horrible pranks on me. Ah sur it was a laugh but none of us had gfs! we just to jeer each other about girls! Wait for a while boy! Enjoy ur youth while u got it. Its the best part of yor life!

Orion

There's two things here:

1. You're 15 = you are a kid - I don't mean this in a patronising way. It's just a stage in your life when there are a lot of confusing things - girls are just one of them. Don't worry about not have a girlfriend - there's plenty of time for those damned women. Visions of killing yourself are quite common too. But stop and think if they become more realistic. Talk to your parents. If that's not comfortable for you then talk to a teacher. All schools now have access to counsellors who can help you see things a bit more clearly.

2. Are you getting a real pain in your stomach? For 6 months? See a doctor! Now! Tiredness and feeling low could be symptoms of a physical illness. Possibly an ulcer - which could be caused by feeling low and exhaustion - vicious circle. But if you really have this pain then see a doctor tomorrow. There's no shame in it. Even if this pain is caused by stress your GP is the man to talk to.

Baz_

Macros42 wrote:

2. Sterling Advice...

Some sterling advice there Macros, nice linking of the clues. Go see a doctor.

Squirrel

On the tiredness, do you eat much fruit? I was like that but eat a good bit of fruit every day and I feel much better. Girls will only **** with your head for a while, don't worry about it. And go to the doctor about the stomach pains

[Jackass]

You've only just discoverd masterbation! What do you need girls for??

No, seriously mate, most people don't have a G/f untill 17/18/19 if not older...myfirst G/F was at 17, but I didn't start meeting girls and ahnging out nd stuff untill I was about 16...Get yourself to the WEZ on Friday nights I think it is, In donnybrook...tell your mates and all go along, plenty of girls your age..that's where I always used to meet girls.

On tiredness, take vitamen supplements, play sport/exercise (which actually gives you more energy), go to bed early, and try and have a positive fram of mind. If it persists, go and see your local GP.

As for the freaky visions you have of doing stuff to yourself, man, your brain is starting to develop all it's creative outlets and starting to broaden and mature...it's a difficult time in anyones book...no matter how bad you feel..you'll miss it when it's gone Every teenager goes through that.

But most important thing I can say to you mate is that school and especially at your ageis full of pressure....everyone wants to fit in and is afraid to stand out. Look you ust can't worry and keep doing what your doing and you'll be fine, it'll happen sooner or later...and if they start making fun of you, you can always lie right? Cause half of them, if not more are.

Crucifix

Girlfriends at 15 == Not worth the bother. Seriously.

Duckjob

At 15, I was probably still more interested in my ZX Spectrum than girls </show oldfartiness>

Seriously, as others have said, see a doctor. Mental and physical problems are closely related. Mental stress and anguish can manifest itself as very real physical discomfort, but equally, if there is some physical problem, if can have a huge effort on your mental wellbeing.

In either case, your family doc is the person to start with.

Red Alert

yep, my Amiga 1200 meant i didn't see very much of them. i hadn't even kissed a girl when i was 15. (had a few ex's and currently going out with someone so you needn't worry (i'm 22))

SparkyLarks

On the pains Go to the Doctor

On the tiredness maybe a multivitamin?


On the appetitte, try to eat at the same time every day. Eating a different times messes with your apettite something fierce.

About the girlfriends, don't worry about it, some will come along.

And about the depression, talk to someone, brother sister, parent, priest counseller someone. It's always good to talk. Everybody worries about stuff all the time, talking to some is the best way of getting your head clear

hey i was only 15 when i got my first shift. ive never had a relationship or found anyone who wants to have a relationship with me and im now 22 but i have no problems in getting girls as such.

in a way a relationship is a huge step so girls tend to be more cagey about taking it then men, so dont take it personally. also the type that thrives companionship i find are pretty much late starters.

its no big deal!! just relax and go out with the aim of having a good time and things will happen. you'd be surprised when you broaden your horizons how girls you wouldnt expect to like you do really like you.

anyway none of your mates will be with them girls in a few years time.

Beau

Hey man,

Your situation seems identical to mine only I`m 18. I don`t know, I find excercise seems to get me in a great mood and not drinking alcohol. Anyway I`m considering going to a counciller but I feel a bit weird about that. I`ll send you a PM or something to see how your geting on.

Cabelo

Hey, I know this isn't what anyone will want to hear but I'm not being unintentionally nasty. I do hope I'll not be banned because I'm swimming against the tide here but I've only got a little to say.

On the stomach thing, if it's a very real pain then by all means have yourself checked out; you'll get no argument from me there. On the other hand, if it's just a kind of a dull and empty feeling, you're probably just not happy.

Now, on to the more pressing issues (says he who's typing: AHA.. jesus that was woeful), the whole depression thing. Look, if anyone says they've been unhappy for a while, in my experience, everyone jumps in and roars depression. I remember that depression used to just mean feeling sad. Anyone else get that? Ah well, nevermind.

The point is, maybe you need to take a look at yourself, disregard the fact that you don't have a girlfriend, and decide once and for all, "Am I being too emo?" There is a multitude of people out there taking every tiny thing far too seriously and it's about time somebody stood up and said it... "Calm down and have some dip." What I mean is, life isn't all a dry and arid wasteland (like a Philleas Fogg tortilla chip), if you want to slog through it then you can. If you let yourself be a little easier to please then there's plenty of warm runny goo out there to enjoy... by which I mean salsa dip and possibly honey depending on your mood.

Life is absolutely deadly for damn near everyone. Unless you think you're specifically living a terrible life then just accept that sometimes things are burdensome but at least you're at the top of your game... and not impotent

Vangelis

half_life_man, are you sure there is nothing else you're sad for other than missing a girlfriend?

panda100

Hey-as a doctor in training it does sound like maybe you have an iron deficiency.If u are tired and lacking in energy and feeling down.I would definatly get a blood test done and just make sure you eat lots of red meat!

lazylad

Yeah you gotta lot of brillant advice here boy! Suicidal thoughts are more common than you think! Even the bestest of person you think can suffer from those thoughts. WHY? because your body is deficient in something. Exercise is brillant. Do some vigourous running athletics something with a lot of speed in it. This way you will increase your lung capacity and circulation which makes you feel "a hell of a lot better" about yourself!
Dont smoke or drink excess caffeine. They made me feel like sh*t!! I loved smoking still do but I feel a hell of a lot better without it! I went back into cross country training this evening and boy do I feel different.

Seriously dont worry about other people, if you killed yourself it would just be all bohoo bohoo crying boll)x for a while and then people would forget about you. You gotta live your life for you and start giving yourself life. F**k other people, most are w***ers you could do without!! You will find a girl that gives a s*it about you, but you have to get through a lot of slags first and if you get through that, you'll be grand!

Make sure you got mates to talk to if you ever down though.

Gazza22

half_life_man wrote:

i hate my life so much. i'm 15 all my friends have gf's and i never had one. thats not the worst part i always feel tired , i sometimes have visions of killin myself, i really feel sad and i keep gettin a pain in my stomach everyday(for the past 5/6 months). i come home sometimes and i'm always so depresses but when i'm at skool i pretend not to be depressed. i dunno wat to do

Hey, don't worry about the gf issue, seriously! When i was 15, i didn't have a gf...no biggie! I preferred just being with my mates at that age...cuts out any complications.

For the other issues you mentioned, your going to have to get these off your chest and talk to people. Check if your school has a student councellor, alot of schools do and make an appointment.

That pain in your stomach is more than likely related to your stress and anguish but you should pay a visit to your doc and get a checkup.

Try and cheer up, at 15 you shouldn't have a worry in the world. Put those thoughts completely out of your mind and go and have some fun

Baz_

panda100 wrote:

Hey-as a doctor in training it does sound like maybe you have an iron deficiency.If u are tired and lacking in energy and feeling down.I would definatly get a blood test done and just make sure you eat lots of red meat!

Or if he's a vegetarian, I would presume that an iron supplement would do?

ghostchant

I felt similar to the OP at around that age (slightly different issues, but the same feelings), and I don't know if I was depressed or not but it can be tough, but you're only 15 and you don't need to worry about girlfriends and the like at your age, although its easy to say that when you're a bit older.
I didn't have a girlfriend til I was 19, or my first kiss - I'm guessing some people would find the second part of that strange but it's nothing to be ashamed of - everyone's different.