Homesickness

MrsA

Not sure if this is the right place for this one but feel free to move it if not.

Well here goes my husband and I are moving to Oz for 2 years this day next week. It is a fantastic opportunity for both of us. My husband works for an irish company who have a huge contract out there so they are footing the bill for us all the way. They are paying our rent while we are away - sending up out business class and generally making it so easy for us to go.
There are only the 2 of us so there are no kids to worry about uprooting or anything like that. We will be married a year in December.

I am so looking forward to going and really excited about everything. I will be on a visitor visa so I will not even be working for the 2 years I am there it will be like a long holiday. (although apparently there are ways around this if I get bored).

I am so worried though about getting homesick - missing my family, missing stuff I cannot even imagine missing, like stupid things, last night I saw an ad on tv for the new series of Kilnascully and I was sad that we would be missing that.

So has anyone here ever lived away from "home" for a long period of time, how long does it take to get used to it, what are the do's and dont's involved, do you look for an irish community or pub or do you steer clear of that and go for the local culture.

BTW - I don't exactly live near my family now either - they are in Cork and I am in Wicklow so I don't exactly see them every week.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give.
MPA

seamus

Having your husband there will certainly help with it. Homesickness is largely a loss of the unfamiliar.

I think the key for the first few weeks is to not allow yourself to be left with nothing to do. Particularly seeing as your husband will be working, you'll need something to immerse yourself into. Idle time is time you'll spend thinking about home, so keep busy.

I'd also advise not to treat it like a holiday for the first month or so. If you spend the first few weeks going to restaurants every night, and generally partying to keep your mind off home, then you've an big anticlimax when you've run out of thing to do!

pickarooney

Have you a job lined up or any idea what you'll be doing professionally out there?
I'd advise you to throw yourself in to whatever you can (including the ocean ), meet as many people as possible, keeping busy should make the transition a lot easier.
Generally speaking you'll spend the first few months loving everything that's new about the place, then the next few months hating everything that's not the same as it was back home, before you find a decent balance.

dramaqueen

I lived in the UK for 8 years and homesickness never goes away to be honest. You learn to live with it though. I cried every time I came home and had to leave again.
But you find a new life where you are and you meet new friends and you find new tv programmes that you love. They don't replace the things you miss at home, but you'll find that when you come home for a holiday, you end up missing things back in Oz.
What will be difficult is when your husband goes to work and you are left on your own. If I were you I would bring a load of books that I have wanted to read but never get the time and spend the first few weeks chilling and enjoying the new surroundings.
Then I would get a job.
Make plans and stick to them. The worst thing about loneliness is not having anything to do. Take a course while you're out there. Use the 2 years to do all the things you never get a chance to do over here.
I always found leaving home to fly back easier if I had already planned my next trip home!
You don't have to book it, but set a mental date for when you would like to come home. Just cos you are going away for 2 years doesn't mean you can't visit. I know it's along way, but...
That's what I would do.

annR

I think homesickness is one of those things that can be as bad as you make it. If you go there thinking about how homesick you're going to be, YOU WILL BE HOMESICK and make yourself miserable.

Be practical, it's not like you're there for life. Do you want to spend the time moping? Then don't. Concentrate on exploring the place and doing new things you would never do at home, so that when you do come home you'll have amazing memories and stories. If you feel yourself getting homesick, there'll be some little thing you can do to comfort yourself, like make a batch of scones or a nice cup of tea or something, and then let it go and get on with things.

Everyone will get a bit down but that happens at home as well. I've seen people just pick and pick at it like a scab, until they get full blown homesickness. They don't give themselves a chance.

skywalker

If you look at it from the other side of the coin you've got such a fantastic opportunity ahead of you. Your going away with the love of you life to an exotic land you might otherwise never get to see, & his company are making sure your well paid & well looked after for the entire time.

Your going to be on your own during the days while your husband is at work, so why not take advantage of that (& I dont mean get a boyfriend) go explore some of your local surroundings during the day. & find some good places to go together in the evenings. Go a little further afield on the weekends & get out of the city your in.

As for missing the family, why not get skype set up on your pc & set it up on the family pc before you go, that way you can chat all day every day for free to whoever is at home. You could get webcams set up on both ends too so you can see the people back home.

I probably wouldnt watch that film, wolf creek before you go though.

DawnMc

Jaysus, my two cent would be to simply focus on the positive. Most people (myself included) would give anything to swap with you!

MrsA

Thanks a million everyone - I really am focusing on the positive and I am so looking forward to the whole experience. I suppose what I don't want to do is look at it through rose coloured glasses and then find that I am sad when I get there.
It is an amazing opportunity and I honestly wish this week would just pass so we could be on our way.
I do want to do some sort of educational course - not sure what yet, but the suggestion on the scones made me laugh as my hubbie keeps telling me I will have time now to do a cookery course - I love food but hate to cook!!
Thanks for the replies.
I know I am very lucky so please don't think I was being negative I just like to know what I might be facing.
MPA

Raytown Rocks

Hey MrsA

I lived in Australia for a couple of years ( almost 10 years ago now), and I have got to say I had the time of my life.
I know its hard to leave, but you have a fantastic opportunity especially with your husbands job assisting.
I would say get over there, get yourselves setup, and then take everyday as a new learning experience.
I Realise you only have a holiday visa, but I do think you will need something to do when your husband is in work ( you cant spend all day, everyday on the beach) although you might want to.
I would get involved with the Irish community over there. There is a big GAA setup within most of the Australian capital cities ( that said you dont have to spend all your time with other Irish people).
See as much of the country as you can, its is beautiful and its is HUGE, so take your time and do it all.
I know its tough when your away and famly occasions take place ( birthdays,etc etc) but you will get over it.
Anyway I hope you both have a brilliant time,
Go neiri an Bothair leat.
Safe trip

Chef

annR

What part of Australia are you going to?