dream problem

*bRiTnEySaYzSo*

so i had this dream last night and it was about my father and me...the most i can really remember is us kissing and then him fingering me! I woke up this morning completely freaked out and disguted! The thing is that this wasn't just a once off dream...a couple of months ago i had a dream of me and father and he was starting to penetrate me but then i made him pull out as i wanted to lose my virginity to my boyfriend at the time! I have been completely stressing out over this. I'm really upset! To me it's not normal behaviour...why am i fantasising over my father???

Gazza22

It's only a dream at the end of the day. It may be just one of those wacky dreams that everybody has every now and then. Should be nothing to worry about.

Well it's possible but very unlikely that you are recalling buried memories of incest between you and your father. But i'm sure you would know yourself if anything like this has ever happened.

I have looked up this type of dream on the net and this is what the experts say, hope it helps...

"Don't panic if you have an incest dream. If you recall a dream like this, the images can be daunting, but they do not necessarily refer to sexual activity or abuse. Take a deep breath and process the images and the situation carefully. Incest may consist of a feeling of romantic or sexual love between family members, as well as actual sexual relations. But it is more likely an indication of less complicated affections"

TerrorFirmer

.........uh...

Thats just wierd. I mean, seriously, if its recurring, once off bizarre dreams do happen, but recurring dreams of that nature and both times specific to the same person is just totally wierd.

rondeco

dont worry about these dreams. Dreams are a way for the mind to release the problems of what are happening in a persons real life. Your father is a representation of authority in your life. It is possible that there is an issue with authority in your life atm. It might be as obvious as being attracted to your boss or as remote as the possibility that you recently desired to do something that was very wrong in your mindset and this is now being manifested in your dreams as a sexual relationship with your father. Your brain is just dealing with emotions that you havent faced up to in your conscious mind. Its stopping you from stressing too much. thats all.

Victor

OK, I think people are over-reacting to what is after all just a dream. I once had a dream that The Penguin was in my bedroom, but I don't think he ever was.

OP, If this is troubling you, perhaps get your doctor to recommend someone for you to talk to, maybe a counsellor or psychotherapist.

The Sweeper

abercrombie wrote:

It's probably unlikely but i think that you should think about his actions towards you...stares and whatnot!! just to be sure. i dont want to scare you but these are the possibilities

Christ almighty...

A dream is a dream. It is not real. Don't wreck your entire life by getting a dose of the major paranoids because you had an incestuous dream.

Google the concept of incestuous dreams, for starters, so you can see what it might be about.

For instance - you mention wanting to lose your virginity to your boyfriend - here's a bit of amateur dream101 psychology - could you be having an incest dream about your father because you're very worried about losing your virginity, so you dream about your first sexual experience being with a man that you definitely love and trust?

Okay, a little Oedipal for a Monday night perhaps, but don't jump on the "OMG! A SEX DREAM! WITH A FAMILY MEMBER! I was abused as a child!" bandwagon.

(People seem to forget so easily that there SIX BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET. On that basis, don't be too quick to panic that you're the only person something like this has ever happened to.)

seamus

It's just a dream. It's ****ing irritating when two completely incompatible things are merged in your subconcious, but it's just your head messing with you. Occasionally you will have a dream that involves sex, but isn't really sexual in nature. Quite often they deal with control, authority or change.

"Fantasising" dreams or dreams that are actually about physical attraction tend to be pleasant things, not disturbing. When I was 13 I dreamt I had sex with Clare Danes, and I had a crush on her for months afterwards

fly_agaric

A most unusual first post... LOL.

edit:

This yours too:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=303838

Sniff, sniff... smells like Troll.

Gordon

Don't jump to conclusions so quickly. OP registered after that post. Presumably because she didn't see the post on PI as it hadn't been validated yet. Then registered so as to post on PI.

ferdi

i had a recurring dream about my fAther, except in mine it in volved him chasing me out of the house and shooting me in the back. i could feel an intense heat where the 'bullet' had struck me and it often woke me up in sweats. pretty freaky.

dudara

I feel a warning is in order here that comments upon parental sexual abuse and incest will be viewed very harshly in this thread. Keep it sensible.

Dreams can be extremely odd. I love Zombie films, but I always have nightmares afterwards, and wake up sitting straight up, heart racing, blood pounding, absolutely terrified, and unable to sleep for the rest of the night due to sheer terror. This is despite my concious mind telling me to cop myself on.

If this dream is causing you a lot of concern and it's not something that you're able to brush off easily, go talk to a professional. otherwise, just remember that your brain links together a lot of different images while your asleep, often at random.

DublinWriter

*bRiTnEySaYzSo* wrote:

why am i fantasising over my father???

You're not. Jung's theory about dreams was that all the characters in dreams are basically other representations of yourself.

Your subconscious, the part of you that generates dreams, works in 'symbols'. During dreams, your subconscious kicks in and pops out the fears and anxieties that you tend to push to the back of your waking conscious mind.

So your father in that dream would represent the part of you that wanted to lose your virginity with your bf while the 'you' in the dream represented the part of you that didn't want to.

Maybe at the time with your bf, the whole thing worried you quite a lot and you just kept pushing it to the back of your mind.

dramaqueen

Do you ever dream that one of your parents has died and wake up crying. I always phone them straight away. It's been poorly received in the middle of the night but hey!!
The point is we dream weird things all the time but they don't mean anything literal.
Get a book on dreams

Calibos

9 times out of 10, I find that I can find associations between stuff that happens in my dreams and things I have thought about recently, seen, done etc earlier that day or week etc Except sometimes your brain twists and turns these things upside down.

I had an incesteous dream a few years ago about my father! Thing is, I am a heterosexual male and so is my father. It didn't freak me out though and think I was gay and/or in love with my father or anything like that. I really didn't give it a second thought. I already had read a few theories about dreams and had already noticed how my brain sometimes processed recent sights, thoughts, events wierdly in my dreams. I can't remember exactly what the association was but it was probably something like seeing a news report that day about a father abusing his son or something as silly as some mate playfully calling me a motherf***** on a night out the night before or something like that.

The differance between me and you is that I already knew a bit about dream theory and how my brain processed recent events etc in my dreams.....before I had my first wierd incesteous dream. Thus it didn't freak me out and I didn't give it a second thought. You on the other hand had your first wierd incesteous dream before you heard much about dream theory and/or started to see the connections between recent events etc and your dreams. Thus you are totally freaked out.

I imagine if you think hard about it you may be able to come up with an explanation as to why your brain dreamt those things albeit probably twisted slightly. Perhaps like me, you saw a news report about parental child abuse that day, read an article about a real incesteous relationship in a magazine earlier that week, read something about the roman emperor Caligula marrying his mum. It could be something as ridiculous as that but your brain remembered it a week later in a dream and twisted/adapted it in your dream.

Even if you can't think of anything you did,saw, read, thought that could have shaped that particular dream, there probably is something totally innocent and innocuous behind it and you just can't remember it or you can't believe your brain could have used it as inspiration, the link is so tenuous. Believe me the unconcious brain can be a wierd twisted fecker at times.

I guarantee you though, that from now on you will start to be able to see the links and reasons for scenes in most of your dreams because of recent events, thoughts, sights etc. Even the 'innocent' dreams.

For example (creating a hypothetical dream off the top of my head), you might dream of being on a plane and you go to get out of your seat to go to the toilet and someone runs past the aisle and knocks you over and when you get out of the toilet you find the plane is in space and the pilot is your dad etc

You wake up. FFS another wierd mishmash of a dream. Why can't I dream of being seduced by [insert your favourite actor].

If you think about the dream you may start to see the reasons behind why some of it was in your dream albeit your brain has mixed them all together in the dream.

You just watched an episode of lost that day where Charlie knocks Jack over in the aisle in the plane. Hence you got knocked over in the aisle in your dream.

The day before yesterday, you slagged your boyfriend for his geeky love of Starwars and space movies. Hence, you suddenly found the plane was in outer space.

Earlier that week over dinner, your dad commented that he always wanted to be an airline pilot when he was young. hence your dad is a pilot on the plane.

Do you see the way your brain could take recent event etc and mix them together and twist them a bit in your dream.

I know this was a real long winded explanation but I hope you get my point.

I can almost guarantee that either you or I for that matter might incorporate some of what you read/I wrote above into one of our dreams in the next few nights!! :D

Kell

So if we add this -

DublinWriter wrote:

Jung's theory about dreams was that all the characters in dreams are basically other representations of yourself.

meaning that potentially your father figure authority figure part of yourself when added to this -

Dublinwriter wrote:

would represent the part of you that wanted to lose your virginity with your bf while the 'you' in the dream represented the part of you that didn't want to.

Which is likely a fair summation and ad it to

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

because you're very worried about losing your virginity, so you dream about your first sexual experience being with a man that you definitely love and trust?

albeit a tad freudian (who's theories I hate but cannot negate), you may just come up with the actual answer.

Oh, and quit stressing. Theres sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep with what I see. Sometimes I think I might just be Constantine.

K-

Seraphina

i had my first incestuous dream last night after reading this thread.

shows you how crazy the brain really is, heh.

*bRiTnEySaYzSo*

Gordon wrote:

Don't jump to conclusions so quickly. OP registered after that post. Presumably because she didn't see the post on PI as it hadn't been validated yet. Then registered so as to post on PI.

thats exactly what i did thanks!!!

i'm still a bit weirded out...but all these comments hve helped me a bit! I'm jst glad i dont live with my dad or else i wudnt hve been able to face him in the morning!

actually yeah it was very true about me being worried about losing my virginity! This is starting to make sense!!!

jcoote

your idea of a man is your father he is the earliest and most frequent contact u will have with any man and having a dream like that just means that your mind is consideing letting your body free itself and allowing u to lose your virginity..so your father coming into the dream might mean that u are still very afraid and he was a comforting character that brought stabilty and scurity back into your mind during an anxious time for u...it wa only a dream tho no panic it happened to me too and i'm fine