Potty Training advise

BIRDCAGE

Hi, I'm looking to see if anyone has any adivse about potty training. We recently started to potty train our 2 1/2 year old son about a month ago, we both took time off work and spent a whole week concentrating on the training. At the end of the week he was doing his pee pee in the potty everytime and telling us when he needed to go, but he was a little reluctant when it came to doing a poo. We figured it would take time, we fed him plenty of fruit & orange juice to make him regular and gave him lots of coaxing to have a poo and eventually it would come (sometimes after 2 days). In the last week he seems to be going backwards, he has poo'ed in his pants 3 times in the last few days and still refuses to use the potty or regular toilet.
THX
PJM

foxinsocks

hmm, well, i am yet to go through this, but i have looked after a couple of children who have been through it... It sounds like your son is just not quite ready to take on the full responsibility of his own waste management

For about a week, dont try to make him do anything, let him ask. If he doesnt ask, then he just doesnt want to be potty trained, and trying to make him will only cause stress for all of you. Plenty of children are trained at his age, but at least as many are not. If you try to press him, the whole thing will just turn into a power struggle, and believe me, toddlers are far far more stubborn than you are. See how he reacts also to having a nappy back on... that could make him see what he's missing. Let him do this at his own pace, it will be easier all round if you do.

main thing is, dont stress... the worst that can happen is a couple more months of nappies.

Fox_in_Socks.

Nevyn

I wouldn't say that he isn't ready more like he is choosing what he knows
is safe and comfortible and works over what may seem is strange and scarey.

Yes getting them to poo in the potty or toliet is harder; but not impossible.
Pull ups are great tbh, but if you want to play hard ball go with pull ups
out side of the house and just pants in doors.
They are not that hard to wash out.

Bribes also work, a sepcial jar of littel sweets for a job well done.

Yes they sometimes slip back you have to allow for that but still encorage them and praise them and try again.

Ah is your little one in a creche ?
What is the creche or childminders policy on toilet training ?
Could it be your little one is upset or embrassed about having accidents
in an unfamilar place ?

BIRDCAGE

Thanks for the replies, yes he is in a creche but only 2 days a weeks and every time he attends he has an accident but I thiink this is becuase they can't get him to the toilet quick enough as he sometimes only announces that he needs to pee about 2 seconds before he really has to go (as is the case with most kids), and at home we can watch him a bit more closely.
I think he is ready, as he has no problem with peeing, except for the other accident in the creche. he aslo wears a nappy at bedtime and completeely understands that it is just for nite time.Its the solid waste that he doesn't like passing, maybe the pull ups are a good idea but we were hoping to keep away from them.

MrPudding

I am an idiot, and i have unresolved mother issues

MrP

Nevyn

I did with our little girl let her see me if she soiled her pants,
tipping the solid matter into the toilet and flushing it away.
Same with empting potty and tell her that one day she would be able to
use the big toliet all by herself.

'Cos you know

Angelica Pickles wrote:

anyone that is anyone is potty trained

.

You will get him there

mountainyman

I know this sounds weird :mad: but take him into the toilet with you when you have a ****. He has probably seen you peeing but what about pooing.

Also train yourself. We were trained young because our mothers would stick us on the toilet all the time and watch us like hawks. You do the same.

Watch for scrunched up faces and so on.

Put him on the toilet about 10 times a day.

Don't bother giving out to him but get him to agree that he uses the toilet for pees and poos.

Warm Regards

Mountainy Man

Oryx

My little guy has the same problem, but I think its because he finds it more convenient! Every time we have an accident I tell him it makes me sad, and ask him to be a big boy next time and tell mammy. Ive also used the threat that we will have to go back to nappies, which horrifies him Were getting there, but Im not panicking hes been pretty good so far

Wex1

I should be in bed instead of talking about potty training!! but can't resist it!!! Just finished our third (all boys) None of them out of nappies before 3. Tried but they just weren't ready. If you wait until they are ready it'll only take 2 or 3 days and out of nappies at night within the week! odd accidents do happen.
Two things i've noted - pull ups don't work - or maybe mine were all too lazy. Second thing, none of mine ever used a potty - though we have the one the 10 year old had bought for him still in the bathroom! Get one of those little padded toilet seats (would like a bigger version for myself) it takes away their fear of falling down the watery abyss!!!
With boys they (????!!!) say their harder than girls! And as for the poo thing my second had same problem, lasted for about 3 weeks and he was in creche. They were great about it and their motto was "We'll start again". Wee was perfect. Thinking back it may have been because he liked to wee standing up and therefore didn't have the opportunity to do 2 in 1. The fella just trained always sits and only had a poo accident once - in the car!!! Bear with it or just go back to the nappies until he's fed up of them. Its not an indication of intelligence or anything - its more for you not them.... I tried to get my first to give up all baby things pretty early - didn't do either of us any good, now on number 4 and going with the flow - I'm much happier and life is so much easier.....

mountainyman

What a wonderful idea Katie K. Make your child believe that control over his environment is what determines his mothers happiness. Why not save the emotional blackmail for adolescence when you need it.

On the other hand it may well produce a high achieving child.

Look just watch your children and when their face looks like this :mad: stick them on the toilet.

What is the smile thing for sarcasm?

Nevyn

mountain man please read the charter,

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=108858

Please be polite, and courteous when posting new threads and replying to existing threads.

Make allowances for the fact that some people dont think exactly like you do, and therefore will have different styles of parenting... Remember that just because they are different, doesn't mean they are wrong.

Kids don't like it when we have to be angry Mammy and angry Daddy and
they need to learn that thier actions do have consequences.
From you dont hit people with your rattle to you don't do things to piss
Mammy and Daddy off. Yes we have to make allowances for them being
children but part of rearing them is the instillment of what is and is not
accpetible socail behaviour.

Oryx

mountainyman wrote:

What a wonderful idea Katie K. Make your child believe that control over his environment is what determines his mothers happiness. Why not save the emotional blackmail for adolescence when you need it.

On the other hand it may well produce a high achieving child.

Look just watch your children and when their face looks like this :mad: stick them on the toilet.

What is the smile thing for sarcasm?

You cant put a full situation in a thread like this, and I cant explain how I relate to my son, except that I love him to bits and would never hurt him/exploit him. He may only be two, but we talk about things like that and what I mentioned is part of a bigger conversation. The smile was because he thinks hes such a big boy now its quite funny to see his reaction when you mention nappies at all. I dont do it in a cruel way, as if! And with a kid I think it is much better to say how you feel (as in sad) rather than loose your rag with the child, which Im sure many well meaning but not perfect parents have done.
If I look up perfect-parent in the dictionary will I see your photo? (NOW Im being sarcastic, please no more flaming, I mean it in a nice way....)

Victor

BIRDCAGE wrote:

We figured it would take time, we fed him plenty of fruit & orange juice to make him regular

Is there the risk that regular comes to mean "frequent and sudden"?

To my mind the pull up pants make sense, convenience with security.

And from my own recollection, more as a 4-5 year old than as a 2-year old, the child is entitled to privacy and respect. Making it out that mummy will be sad if they have an accident has a hint of emotional blackmail about it.

luckat

Relax, already! How many 30-year-old businessmen do you know who aren't potty-trained? It'll happen!

Don't make your kid feel bad about having accidents.

Think about it. He's learning a new skill. So he's going to have some failures and some successes.

Or rather, he's learning a lot of new skills. One, for instance, is recognising ahead of time (and through a lot of fascinating *other* stuff that's going on) that he's going to need to pee in a minute.

Work on the peeing first, in any case, because a kid's sphincter takes much longer to mature, and a child who's ready to control the peeing is not necessarily ready to control the pooing.

May I suggest a trick, for boys, anyway?

Give him something that he can hold on to - a rail beside the toilet, say - so he's not afraid of falling in, and something to stand up on so he can aim properly.

Now tear a small piece of kleenex and put it in the toilet, and ask him if he can sink it by peeing on it.

He'll be only *dying* to get to the loo and play the sink-the-paper game! And his future partner will thank you! He'll have a brilliant aim, and not spray all over the floor!

For those with young babies, as I've been saying on another thread, it's normal for mothers in the Far East to go "ssss ssss" when holding a kid over a potty (as a small baby) to pee, and to grunt when holding it over a potty to poo. The kids learn quite early to pee and poo on cue, especially when they get praise and smiles when it happens, and nobody worries if it doesn't.

BIRDCAGE

luckat wrote:

Now tear a small piece of kleenex and put it in the toilet, and ask him if he can sink it by peeing on it.

I like the idea of the kleenex in the bowl, we haven't gotten to the stage of standing up and peeing but I will certainly use the this idea when he does start standing up.

As far as the pooing is going, he has started to come around to our way of thinking (so to speech) and he has used the potty several times in the last 4/5 days to do a poo without much coaxing from us, so I think that we have turned a corner.

luckat

Excellent!

Victor

luckat wrote:

Relax, already! How many 30-year-old businessmen do you know who aren't potty-trained? It'll happen!

It was only the once!

Now tear a small piece of kleenex and put it in the toilet, and ask him if he can sink it by peeing on it.

My brother's nephew upgraded this to throwing entire rolls into the toilet. :eek:

mountainyman

Accidents are inevitable. Kids of 3 have accidents that's life and there isn't much point getting angry with them or guilt tripping them. In my experience which is fairly extensive the big problem is the period just before this (which I believe is what the original message was about) when many children just can't be bothered to go to the toilet. My 'advice' such as it is is not to worry. Nobody ever started school in nappies. If you see this face :mad: stick them on the toilet - (is that an emoticon for defecating toddler?)

Katie K I apologise for my comments about emotional blackmail, everyone does their best as a parent and in an anonymous email thingy like this it is very easy (as I have demonstrated) to be rude and hypercritical in a way that we wouldn't dream of in real life. I am sorry for being so rude.

miju

what we did with my son is i used to take him into the toilet with me when i was going and i'd usually ask him if he wanted to go after a while he just goes and everytime he does it we give him loads or praise

he was the same when it came to a poo he was a bit nervous and it took him a bit longer to get the hang of,

he has the odd accident and we dont get angry we just act all disapointed and tell him he should tell us when he wants to go and when he goes in the toilet next time we give him LOADS of praise

Oryx

mountainyman wrote:

Katie K I apologise for my comments about emotional blackmail, everyone does their best as a parent and in an anonymous email thingy like this it is very easy (as I have demonstrated) to be rude and hypercritical in a way that we wouldn't dream of in real life. I am sorry for being so rude.

Thanks, appreciated Like us all Im just muddling along trying not to f**k up my kids too bad. :rolleyes: (btw junior is doing really well and getting lots of hugs)

mountainyman

Hugs are good can't hug kids too much and enjoy it because by the time they're 4 they are wriggling free. Enjoy three folks it is a very special age.