Superbabes vs. soulmates?

LegacyUser

I feel I’ve come to a bit of a cross-roads in my life. There are two different sides of my brain arguing against each other and I’m not sure which path to take. Should I keep pursuing these head-wrecking super babes, or should I settle for a “nice-girl” who can be my soulmate but who ain’t no Elle McPherson? Perhaps some of you will be able to help, or have had a similar issue.

On one hand, I’m really into wonderful looking girls with very slim bodies. I’ll be honest, I find slim girls who look after their bodies very sexually attractive and stimulating and usually kissing, sensuality and sex with girls like this is a wonderful, completely fulfilling experience. Very gratifying. However, in my relations with such girls I have often found myself overlooking the fact that we might not be soul-mates or perhaps that she might not be on the same wavelength as me some of the time. Or she may be interested in me at a very superficial level…and often such relations aren’t as intellectually engaging as I’d like. Or perhaps we have different interests.

On the other hand, I find that I sometimes really click on many levels with girls who aren’t exactly super-babes, or are perhaps carrying a little more weight than I would find attractive… yet I often find these girls are very much attracted to me, and I feel sometimes like we could be soul-mates if I would give it a try, that is; we have a lot of things in common, a similar sense of humour, come from a similar background or upbringing and have the same values in life. At the moment there is one girl in my mind who I really feel I could have a wonderful relationship with – she has a very pretty face, funny, a warm-heart and we always get on extremely well and are always glad to see each other, and really buzz of each other.

Now the problem; the bottom-line is that I’ve gone out with and had sexual relations with some very attractive and beautiful ladies, and I feel it’s hard now for me to become sexually aroused by girls whose figures don’t live up to my high-standards. It’s hard to go back… I know this sounds extremely selfish, pernickety, egocentric and I probably sound like I’m completely up my own arse… but this is where I’ve got myself, and this seems to be my taste (perhaps acquired and cultivated over the years?). But it seems to be a bit of a problem for me – you see the beautiful girls I’m with never seem to be “soul mate” material, or long term material; and the slightly more full bodied or not so pretty girls seem to be perfect soul-mates and would be perfect for a long term relationship, yet they disappoint when it comes to sexual arousal, and I have doubts about my ability to get sufficiently sexually aroused by them for a completely fulfilling relationship to ensue.

Also, I’m not that amazing looking myself, I have a very good body and am slim and healthy but my face isn’t exactly up to Brad Pitt levels by any means. I’m also 25 so perhaps it’s time for me to grow up and to realise that these “babes” are always going to let me down where I really need it, and I need to just be less sex-centred, and go for a relationship where the main focus is on building a life with a reliable and emotionally sound woman?

Also, do any guys here find that sexy girls are often very insecure and emotionally unsound when it comes to relationships? I have also found many of them to be volatile and not so good at communicating.

I want to move on from my obsession with “babes” but when I tried it in the past and went out with a wonderful, warm-hearted and positive girl, I found myself constantly looking around me at all the prettier girls, wanting and wishing I was going out with someone as pretty as them, and also wondering if it was possible and if I was wasting time with a girl who didn’t live up to what I truly desire?

I’m really sorry this is so long. I know I’m full of ****… but if you can offer any advice or help at all, I’ll be very grateful! I don’t want to want any more of these headwreckers, I’ve learnt the lesson time and time again that they are not for me… yet I still keep going back for more instead of forming a lasting relationship with a more homely and solid girl

Coney Island

I think you should keep going for superbabes for at least another 5 years....you will have time for soulmates. No point to start a relationship with a girl you are not 100% physically attracted to because you know that deeply inside you won't be happy. So keep going for superbabes until one of them will also be your soulmate....it is not true that all good looking women have no personality, and if a woman look after her look has to be appreciated.

Squirrel

One of the babes could be your soul-mate. Do you find that you only like girls who look like super-models or is it your own personal thing that you like about them, something other than the slimness. I like thin girls, but I also have a thing for eyes, and for some reason, upper arms. Anyway if there's anything like that for you you might look past the supermodel looks and find someone who does turn you on, for something completely random.

If you can make sense of that you can take what you can

Red Alert

settle for 50/50. you'd be surprised what some people look like when they're dressed up, and some of the superbabes aren't so great looking the morning after.

Chinafoot

well at the moment it seems that you are being with girls on a purely superficial level. i get the impression you're quite young and if thats the case then why are you looking for your soul-mate?

if you're not so young and are looking for someone to settle down with then all i'll say is, looks fade in all of us. you should be with someone who can offer you more than just sexual gratification. Obviously looks are important to all of us in some respect, but at the end of the day when it comes to being "soul-mates" its the personailty that counts.

DAEDULUS

dont settle for anything less than what you want,there are billions of men out there who would love to be able to do what u do with women,end up marrying a woman that they love but only to an extent ,because they dont think they can do any better...

LegacyUser

hmmmm. I think you need to realize is sex is part of a relationship but if it makes the relationship then it can't work. Having sex with a hot person isnt so bad but if you can't find anything else about them that you like, you'll be more miserable in the end. We all grow old too. These super hot babes will one day lose their looks as will all of us.
So think about it. Would you rather be with someone who you really have nothing in common with except the hotness part or a chick who may not be a supermodel but has a killer personality who you know you will stay with for the rest of your life? Also.... not all gorgeous girls are insecure or emotionally unstable. Women just tend to like the compliments in general.

Hells_Belle

You can look for a more well-rounded and emotionally fulfilling relationship now, or keep playing the superbabe field and do it later. It depends what you want from your life and not just what you want from your Saturday night.

I don't mean this to be unkind, but I don't know of another way to say it: if looks are the most important feature in a partner to you right now, you probably shouldn't be dating anyone who isn't up to par. Because what happens if you go out with a wonderful but not perfect looking woman, and over a few years she gains a few pounds? Or there's some sort of accident and her face goes through a wind screen? Or you have a child together and there are stretch marks or a c-section scar?

To be really ready for a committment, you have to be committed to the person as a whole. What's on the outside is very, very transient.

Women face a huge amount of cultural pressure to be slim, toned, beautiful, and perfect. This isn't a very realistic lifelong goal, really, is it? And women also get that pressure from their partners, it can be devastating to their self esteem.

Even though it sounds like you want a more in-depth relationship, the truth is that you may just not be ready to have one, with all that it comes with...

Laguna

If you're serious about it, why don't you go for a nice girl instead of these "sugar babes" that you refer to. IMO any girls (who would be considered by most to be good looking) I've met in my life are quite superficial and are quite well aware of the fact that they are good looking which, to me at least, is very unattractive. Just because a girl is nice doesn't mean she'll be any less attractive OP and besides, what's the deal with looks anyway?, it's a shallow yardstick for a basis of a relationship..

simu

ConFlusTereD wrote:

when I tried it in the past and went out with a wonderful, warm-hearted and positive girl, I found myself constantly looking around me at all the prettier girls, wanting and wishing I was going out with someone as pretty as them, and also wondering if it was possible and if I was wasting time with a girl who didn’t live up to what I truly desire?

^^ This is not good and not fair on the girl either. Besides, as others have said, you're only 25 so there is no huge rush to settle down.

I do find it strange though that you seem to divide women into babes that you can only communicate with through sex and plainer, "nice" girls. Some women look really good, are really nice and are very intelligent. Life isn't fair and some people are luckier than others! The question is whether you can find a girl like this who will be interested in you. Again, you have plenty of time.

LegacyUser

You asked whether any guys have found good looking girls to be emotionally unstable.

To an extent I agree, but the way you communicate with these girls is also an important factor to bear in mind. In life, even the most apparently superficial of people are waiting for someone to come along and release them from their pain by engaging on a deeper plane with them. Not everyone finds this easy, especially young beautiful women. One can't blame beautiful women too much for their suspicious attitude in terms of disclosing their hearts to men. She needs to know he is the right one.

These girls have most likely been treated as sexual objects the majority of the time. Its not their fault, they were born beautiful. So while certainly sexual relations with these women is entirely fufilling in itself, for things to improve on a more soulful level it involves two people.

My advice is too check yourself in terms of how your own interactions appear to these two "types" of women.

For example is it that you communicate with beautiful women in sexual terms largely and is it true that with these other women that you let your true self out more?

Think about it, why not try acting the way you do around the other ones with the beautiful ones.

Beautiful and intelligent women are out there, not as many as other types I suspect, but I've met some.

When you do the challenge is to make her yours.

Good luck

tonyinuae

I think the last poster has given you excellent advice, and I can't better it. However, I will give you a little something to think about.

Like you, I've always tended to go for good looks, especially body-wise. I sometimes felt a bit embarrassed when friendsof mine would go for the less gorgeous type of mate, citing other qualities. I thought 'I must be really shallow - grow up!'

My last bf was a champion gymnast, young, gorgeous, well-endowed, loving and faithful. After a year and a half he decided he really wasn't into men after all and left me. So much for looks.

The next one I met and liked was a little overweight (not very much, but more than I would usually go for, maybe a stone) and no athlete, unlike most of my previous bfs. I just clicked with this guy, sort of soulmate-style I guess. A few months into the relationship, gym, beach visits and proper eating habits had turned the slightly plump guy into a bronzed Adonis who turns heads! And with a hell of a personality to boot.

One day we were sitting together and I noticed stretch marks on the inside of his thigh (from losing weight) Did they bother me? I kissed them.

Don't give up hope - it IS possible to find inner and outer beauty combined - even if you are the one it takes to combine them.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for all the responses. Some of them were very helpful and also touching...

To respond:

"Some women look really good, are really nice and are very intelligent. The question is whether you can find a girl like this who will be interested in you."

I didn't mention in my OP, but yes, I have also met women like this! But I often find they are somewhat "out of my league", and they don't seem interested in a relationship. Just two years ago in fact, I thought I had something special with a beautiful intelligent girl. We ha d a lot of things in common, and got on super, and I really felt we could have had something great. So I took her on a "date" one night, spent ages in the pub talking and getting to really know each other, and I kissed her at the end of the night. But that was it. It ended there, and although she never said it in words, she made it clear enough through her actions after that that she wanted to be friends but not lovers. She is now going out with a guy who is very wealthy and very beautiful, like herself.

I am now very very good friends with this girl, and I really like her as a friend. We still get on like a house on fire, and I see no reason to lose that. But I know she has "higher standards" when it comes to men, and I totally respect that. She deserves someone to match her good looks.

You see, girls who are beautiful and intelligent generally (if not always) have some sort of ego about it. I don't mean they aren't nice people, or are full of themselves, I just mean that consciously or subconsciously they know they can get someone who is at their level of looks and intelligence, and they will often (due to their great looks + personality) be very popular and very social people and will have the means at their disposal to find a mate that is the very best they can get. It is only logical that they will go for men as beautiful as themselves. I don't blame them for it.

And I have triend a few times to start relationsips with these "in demand" girls who are beautiful and intelligent, and it has nearly always been a slow process of gradually realising that I just don't quite meet the mark... sometimes I'm not far off it seems, but I'm not quite there. Simple case of supply and demand.

Interesting story:
My sister was like me in her teens and 20's. She always wanted wonderful looking guys. I should also say she is very intelligent and attractive, more than me, and has no problem attracting guys. But like me, they had let her down many times, and often were not good people, or certainly not the kind of people for a relationship. Often they really disappointed her, and let her down. It happened time and time again. There seemed to be a pattern And in her early 30's she basically said "fekk this, I don't care about looks anymore, I want a nice relationship", in her mid-30's she married a guy who is definitely no Brad Pitt, but she is happy, has settled for someone who definitely wouldn't have "met the mark" when she was in her 20's, and realised that looks aren't everything. They have a kid now as well and a lovely house..

So... maybe if I want until I'm in my 30's, all these beautiful+attractive girls (like my sis) will not be so fussed about looks, and will be tired of the revolving door?

Lex_Diamonds

The solution is simple. Choose the woman you really connect with on an emotional level and then attempt to turn her into a "superbabe" through subtle cajoling/manipulation.

mr_angry

To quote Kanye West recently:
"Strippers are people too".

Perhaps there's a nice-looking lady out there who also happens to be on the same level as you. But I'd say a nice compromise between the two would do you grand.

LegacyUser

Old German saying :

The beautiful woman belongs to the WORLD.
The ugly woman belongs to YOU ...

annR

>>For example is it that you communicate with beautiful women in sexual terms largely and is it true that with these other women that you let your true self out more?

Think about it, why not try acting the way you do around the other ones with the beautiful ones.<<

Great advice!! One of those gorgeous babes might really surprise you!

bellend

... ur 25 man.. ur still really young.. u should be still going for the hotties...uve got another 5years at least before u should be having this problem.

LegacyUser

a) the majority of super fit irish chicks are dikheads, this is simply because, they've no real personality, having relied on their looks, good for a shag, not much else, personaly i really dislike irish women like this. when their looks go, they're knackered.

b) the more chubby, and less attractive irish girl, has a much better developed personality, and you can have more of a laugh with em, they usualy fall into the friend zone.

c) there are the girls in between though, who look after there bodies, and are cute, or pretty enough. there are some of these that think they fall into category a though, these really bug the 5hit out of me.

c's your best bet mate, if you're lookin for a decent gf that is.

Gazza22

Well it seems that at the moment you are just looking for some fun and nothing too serious. In this case, it doesn't really matter what girls you go for...

But you say that the 'non-superbabes' are the ones that you generally click with. Would it not make more sense to just stick to these girls? These girls make you more happy than the 'superbabes' with no personalities.

Bottle_of_Smoke

paperclip wrote:

a) the majority of super fit irish chicks are dikheads, this is simply because, they've no real personality, having relied on their looks, good for a shag, not much else, personaly i really dislike irish women like this. when their looks go, they're knackered.

Yeah I hate the way you either get personality OR looks . . . never both. Just so annoying. But I'm interested to know what you mean by a *real* personality

paperclip wrote:

b) the more chubby, and less attractive irish girl, has a much better developed personality, and you can have more of a laugh with em, they usualy fall into the friend zone.

The only reason you have a good laugh with them is you're not scared of them. Sounds to me like you're holding hot girls looks against them. ie it's easier for you to think "she's up herself, why would I bother" rather than "she's hot, i don't have a chance"

paperclip wrote:

c) there are the girls in between though, who look after there bodies, and are cute, or pretty enough. there are some of these that think they fall into category a though, these really bug the 5hit out of me.


c's your best bet mate, if you're lookin for a decent gf that is.

So they bug the **** out of you? why? and if they bug the **** out of you why are they the best bet?


In general I think this post smacks of bitterness, it's as if you think personality is inversely proportional to looks. One of my friends in college gets hit on everywhere she goes, is extremely good looking etc but I still got on better with her than any other girls in my year. And it was ag science so plenty of "chubby less attractive irish girls" there too!

cuaifeadh

Stop planning!! It's good to know that you're going to decide what type of girlfriend you're going to get yourself. You've admitted it yourself, you're young, so stop worrying. There are so many different types of people out there it would be boring to stick yourself with a "type" at this early age. Experiment with life. All you can do is take each day as it comes. If you end up with a hot babe for a few weeks....go with it, try and get to know her as a person and just remember that the both of you are in it for the fun. Neither of you is looking for the *one*. And if a chubby girl blows you away with her amazing personality, revel in the way that she makes you feel, see what happens. The same goes with girle who look preppy, but may have a great personality behind that plastic look. Or scary looking alternative girls. Be flexable. Chances are she's just testing you out and if something special develops go with it for as long as it feels good.

tonyinuae

ConFlusTereD wrote:

I know she has "higher standards" when it comes to men, and I totally respect that. She deserves someone to match her good looks.

It is only logical that they will go for men as beautiful as themselves. I don't blame them for it.

... it has nearly always been a slow process of gradually realising that I just don't quite meet the mark... sometimes I'm not far off it seems, but I'm not quite there. Simple case of supply and demand.

I believe there are self-esteem issues here. By no means do beautiful women always go for someone exactly as beautiful as themselves. Sure, there is more on offer for them, a greater choice, but that doesn't mean you can't be the chosen one.

If you firmly believe that you don't 'deserve' anything better than a certain standard, or can't experience both great qualities in one great woman, then that's exactly what you'll experience. I think your sister may have had the same problem, a preoccupation with externals combined with a lack of self-belief, resulting in a pattern of failure until she readjusted her values.

However I don't think it's necessary for you to think you will in the end have to 'settle for less' - you just have to learn to believe in yourself more, appreciate and love yourself more. At the moment you believe that you lack that certain essential factor that would ensure your sucess with a truly desirable woman - that, my friend, is an illusion. I'm not saying that it's easy to change your belief, but I believe it to be the only way forward, and not just in relation to dating, either.

By the way, it's often happened that when I first met a future partner, I was unimpressed in some way by external appearances - only to completely revise my opinion after falling in love. Remember that love changes you, and I don't think 25 is too young to experience that. If it's bothering you, it's time to do something about it.

SparkyLarks

you don't choose who you fall in love with.


just get on with life and some day you;ll realise that your madley in love
It may be a superbabe it may not.

LegacyUser

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

Yeah I hate the way you either get personality OR looks . . . never both. Just so annoying. But I'm interested to know what you mean by a *real* personality

real... gues i mean a better more developed personality, the opposite of the fit blondie chick off lost


The only reason you have a good laugh with them is you're not scared of them. Sounds to me like you're holding hot girls looks against them. ie it's easier for you to think "she's up herself, why would I bother" rather than "she's hot, i don't have a chance"

i'm sure there are alot of stunning women with great personalities, simple fact is, the majority don't, and are not very approacable


So they bug the **** out of you? why? and if they bug the **** out of you why are they the best bet?

read this point again, properly


In general I think this post smacks of bitterness, it's as if you think personality is inversely proportional to looks. One of my friends in college gets hit on everywhere she goes, is extremely good looking etc but I still got on better with her than any other girls in my year. And it was ag science so plenty of "chubby less attractive irish girls" there too!

i dont think personality is proportional to looks, myself, i've a great personality!

dramaqueen

Why does it have to be one thing or the other. I know plenty of girls who are gorgeous and have great personalities. I know plenty of girls who are not so gorgeous and have great personalities. The fact that you box women as either one thing or the other means that you will never truely see them for who they are.
Did you ever think that maybe your gorgeous friend with the great personality didn't want to be with you because she thought you were shallow? Maybe she had the intelligence to look beyond the way you look and realised that you weren't on her maturity level!
I don't mean to offend here but it is ridiculous to say that women are either fit, boring and emotionally unstable, or chubby and fun.
Are you being serious?
Try getting to know the next fit girl you go out with. She might surprise you. Try seeing more than her body.
On the settling issue - don't be with someone that you don't fancy. It's not fair to either of you.

deedee lepoopoo

I don't understand, if someone is a d8ckhead how can they be construed as hot?

If someone has an ugly personality, they are ugly in every sense IMO.

Conversely, if someone is sound it makes them beautiful. .

dudara

Don't be worried about it just yet. Love has a nasty yet nice habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. So continue as you are and let things flow. just wait and see what will come to you.

Another poster made a very good comment concerning loving the person as a whole, because as most likely not, when looks fade, and hips thicken ( as they will), you will still want to stay with the person because you love them.

But relax for now. You're still young. Be prepared for the unexpected. There's nothing wrong in having a standard. You want slim women who look after themselves. Me, I'd never touch a smoker.

LegacyUser

"If you firmly believe that you don't 'deserve' anything better than a certain standard, or can't experience both great qualities in one great woman, then that's exactly what you'll experience."

I don't think that's the issue. I'm basically relating my personal experience to you.

And yes, as I've said, I know there are girls out there who are gorgeous and also have a great personality. But they are not as common as you'd think, and when you do meet them, they are often inaccessible for whatever reason - from my experience; either they have a bf, or are so much in demand (because they are quite rare) that they will likely choose the partner who has the most remarkable physical traits and personality. Or indeed, they will be put up on a pedestal such that it will be almost impossible for their ego not to become affected in some way.

Again, please understand, I am speaking from my experience. These are not ideas or concepts or self-beliefs I have formulated through introspection of some sort - it's just observation and hard experience.

And I've been there so many times now that I just wanted to post on it. Interestingly, others here have found that they have had a similar experience so it isn't by chance

I'm positive about it, and I know I'm going to meet someone nice.

The bottom-line: It just seems like nature is telling me I have to lower my standards, and it ain't easy to do because I've been with some very hot chicks in the past, even though they've nearly always been trouble of some sort. On the other hand, the girls I've fancied less have been no trouble at all. Simple as!

I'm thinking of just taking a break from females for a while. Last Saturday I broke up with my gf of two months (the longest relationship I've had in years). And yes, she was very beautiful. But I can't help thinking if she wasn't so, we'd still be together. Only I wouldn't be quite as passionate about her...

dramaqueen

ConFlusTereD wrote:

The bottom-line: It just seems like nature is telling me I have to lower my standards, and it ain't easy to do because I've been with some very hot chicks in the past, even though they've nearly always been trouble of some sort. On the other hand, the girls I've fancied less have been no trouble at all. Simple as!

I'm thinking of just taking a break from females for a while. Last Saturday I broke up with my gf of two months (the longest relationship I've had in years). And yes, she was very beautiful. But I can't help thinking if she wasn't so, we'd still be together. Only I wouldn't be quite as passionate about her...

When you say lowering your standards are you talking physically?
Is the the only thing that you look for? Well obviously not because you want a more interesting girl, but when you meet a gorgeous girl do you go out with her just because of the way she looks or are you interested in her personality too?
Are you passionate about the girl you just broke up with because of the way she looks? Is this all you are passionate about?
If the answer to these questions is yes, then it's not a matter of lowering your standards it's about waking up and realising that there is more to women than meets the eye...
Once you realise this, and really believe it, you will meet someone nice. When you can appreciate her, you will deserve her!
You should be looking for someone you click with. Life is not black and white and there are more shades to women than you give us credit for.
Talk to someone, if you like her go from there. There is no point in being with someone who looks great if you have nothing to talk about anymore than there is any point in being with someone that you have a laugh with but don't fancy.
There is middle ground!

LegacyUser

"Life is not black and white and there are more shades to women than you give us credit for."

I have two sisters who I love dearly and have a wonderful relationship to, so believe me, I know there is a lot more to women than the physicality thing. So of course I'm interested in the personality of any gorgeous girl I've gone out with. Often times even more so than the physical.

However, you have to remember that sometimes us men can be extremely shallow when it comes to finding a mate, and we may have a tendency to become preoccupied with the physical side. That is the nature of the beast, and I'm aware of it. Any man who claims any different is lying to you, or is not interested in you sexually. That said, I am still very much interested in personality (if I wasn't, I wouldn't have started this thread) but - and this is the crux - my base male sexual instincts (we're all neanderthals when it comes to it ) are sometimes telling me I need a certain level of physical stimulation too. And that is my problem.

So yes, I do feel I can appreciate women on many levels, including non-physical, and I have lots of great female friends. I sometimes just wish I could become more excited by less-attractive girlies, cause it would make life a HECK of a lot easier!

tonyinuae

I realise you were simply quoting your experience, but my point is that your experience is actually formed by your beliefs and expectations. We have these before we have experience, then experience re-confirms our beliefs and expectations. In fact it shouldn't, because we can change our beliefs if we decide to, and then our experience will change, too.

My point is simply that if you can manage to fully believe and expect that you CAN meet that hitherto elusive woman who combines looks and personality and that she will be equally interested in you, despite any imperfections you may have (and who hasn't, even gorgeous women?) then you will. If you don't believe it, you won't.

And don't fall into the trap of thinking that past experience is always an indicator of future events. You actually create your own experience, no-one else but you.

Fraggle

As a female in her early twenties, I feel pretty bewildered at your expectations! So you guys really do prefer THIN, STUNNING and ALOOF ladies. Cripes. If you're not so perfect yourself, then I really think you should lower your standards a little.As they say, birds of a feather flock together. Like minded people find eachother, as do people of similar levels of attractiveness. All in all, YOU STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.Some day you will find a girl you find attractive, intelligent and all the rest. You will know she is the full package.Until then, stick with the old one-nighters or whatever else. She'll come along in her ow good time.

LegacyUser

"I feel pretty bewildered at your expectations! So you guys really do prefer THIN, STUNNING and ALOOF ladies."

No, not all guys. I have friends who prefer women who are more curvy, with larger breasts. Some of the guys simply have to have big breasts or they aren't happy, and often times for them it doesn't matter too much if the girl has weight on her legs and stomach. For me, I don't mind at all if a woman has small breasts, I think that's equally beautiful. But I do like a slim body, and someone who will not let theselves put on weight (it's only fair, I myself am very slim with a wasboard stomach and I keep myself like that from my diet and excercise). I also like girls who dress really girly and who aren't afraid to dress really sexy when going on a night out; on the other hand I have friends who prefer girls who dress simple or more casually, without any makeup or glamming up... Different forms of physical stimulation for different people, whatever you're into. I guess it's all about matching up with someone who you admire

TonyInUAE, thanks loads for your help and comments. I will remember your words, and I feel that you're advice is spot on and will carry it with me. In fact, I know from experience that your advice is spot on because many times I have left all my beliefs and ideas about things behind and just went with what was happening - and I have had amazing results. IN fact, I'd go so far as to say that's how I've met some beauties in the past (girls who, when in my teens, I didn't think I could have). So anything is possible, I'm aware of this. Thanks for reminding me!

Seraphina

yeah the whole birds of a feather thing is true. you're with girls only for their looks, and the girls are the same. thats why the good looking and intelligent girls aren't interested in you. you're obviously not much more than that washboard stomach and nice body you keep going on about

Evil Phil

I've skimmed over this thread so forgive me if I'm repeating someone else.

I've found in my limited experience that a super babe, thin girl is emotionally unstable its because of the lengths she goes to to stay thin. In general (and this is just my opinion) they are bulimic.

That being said fit doesn't always equal thin. I like fit women, they feel good; if they carry weight - so what?

Anyway, OP keep sowing the wild oats and let the soul-mate thing take care of itself. You never know what's around the corner in this life.

Duck Soup

I don't think the question is anything got to do with looks. First off - as I think you know yourself - it's a question of do you want a two week bangfest or a long term relationship. And that's got nothing to do with looks. It's a question of where you want to go next.

Secondly I'd simply make the point that (and I'm only speaking for myself), in a long-term relationship if you fall out of love with a superbabe, the physical side of your relationship will get boring real quick.

On the other hand, you can have an average looking girl and if your personalities click, you'd better take out fire insurance on the mattress.

Mind you, you'd actually have to give one of these long-term relationship thingies a go to find all this out for yourself...

LegacyUser

Seraphina, I was only descibing my body. I wasn't saying it as an egotistical thing, I just thought it helped with my explanation.

In fact, I know my body isn't interesting to some (or indeed a lot) of women because they prefer guys who are wider, with bigger muscles (I'm toned, but don't have any big muscles), wide shouldered, rugby types. I'm more into martial arts and flexibility. I even know for a fact some women prefer guys who carry a bit of weight. So ...

Thanks to the last two guys - good advice. I'll just keep on living in the free-world, and who knows whats going to happen.

Duck soup, very good point about soul mates. cheers

savoyard

You're young and you're shallow

Of course you're not going to meet your soulmate while you're obsessed with a woman's looks. And those 'superbabes' probably know you're just with them because of how they look and not because you're even vaguely interested in them as a person. You think that might affect their behaviour? I have fantastic looking friends, highly intelligent, who spent their youth being chased by guys just interested in them due to their looks. Believe it or not, most of them hated being treated as arm candy and nothing more. And those certainly are not the guys they ended up with.

How can you possibly expect to have a meaningful relationship with any girl when you expect to have to 'settle' for a less attractive soulmate? You've never had a real relationship and when you do, you'll find it's a lot more complex than looks. Afraid you need to grow up a lot and change the way you think about women before you've any hope of finding a 'soulmate'. Good luck.

simu

Evil Phil wrote:

I've found in my limited experience that a super babe, thin girl is emotionally unstable its because of the lengths she goes to to stay thin. In general (and this is just my opinion) they are bulimic.

Your experience is limited, by the sound of it. People have emotinal problems for all sorts of reasons and indeed it is emotional problems that lead to people becoming bullimic in the first place rather than the other way around.

And just because a person is thin doesn't mean they have an eating disorder! :mad: People should leave diagnosis to the professionals.

Third_Echelon

Dude... women are too much work...

MASTURBATE....

That will be all!

tonyinuae

ConFlusTereD wrote:

In fact, I know my body isn't interesting to some (or indeed a lot) of women because they prefer guys who are wider, with bigger muscles (I'm toned, but don't have any big muscles), wide shouldered, rugby types. I'm more into martial arts and flexibility.

Glad you liked my advice and it resonated with your experience, Conflustered - that's exactly the message I was trying to convey. It's common among younger folk to equate youth and 'beauty' with attractiveness, but of course it's a much bigger thing than that, so much more is involved and as you say, different people find different ages, body types etc. attractive.

By the way, your body sounds like something to be proud of, and it's been shown that a majority of women actually prefer a slimmer, toned and flexible male body to a beefy, broadshouldered one - that's the type that makes men feel insecure because they think women prefer it. So you're ahead to begin with.

Incidentally, my bf who was really not my type when I met him, not slim or athletic, has really turned into a stunner - he was offered a photographic modelling job the other day - I guess his beliefs must have changed, too - with a bit of encouragement, of course

So, like you said, go without preconceptions - you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Vangelis

tonyinuae wrote:

By the way, your body sounds like something to be proud of, and it's been shown that a majority of women actually prefer a slimmer, toned and flexible male body to a beefy, broadshouldered one - that's the type that makes men feel insecure because they think women prefer it. So you're ahead to begin with.

I know A LOAD of girls who like men with broad shoulders, thick necks, heavy thighs and such! Slim guys haven't much to hold on to to be honest.. :cool:
Sorry for the little interruption!

WhiteWashMan

strange.
i dont think i ever 'contented' myself with find either a superbabe, or a soulmate.
i always went for someone who was both.

and in the end, i found them.

im not sure why people would think you can only have looks and no personality. ive seen some of the pitiful reasons people have given here, and it makes me laugh and realise that most of the people giving advice on the PI forum are around 15 years old.

DAEDULUS

you lie

LegacyUser

"I have fantastic looking friends, highly intelligent, who spent their youth being chased by guys just interested in them due to their looks. Believe it or not, most of them hated being treated as arm candy and nothing more."

This is what they tell you, what you don't know is that they were also chased by guys who weren't after them for their looks. Often times, these guys may not have been model material in the looks department, or maybe they weren't sports stars or maybe they didn't have the kind of attitude or "hard man" personality that these girls find attractive. They didn't tell you about the number of times kinds of guys they turned down, they didn't tell you about all the hearts they broke along the way, or the amount of times they have wrecked "nice guys" heads.

It is their own fault that they ended up with the kinds of guys who wanted them as "arm-candy", and now they have gotten sick of it. I know, my sis went through the exact same thing. I'm not saying it's easy for them, being attractive isn't easy at all.. but it's their own fekkin fault that they've kept ending up with assholes

TerrorFirmer

I don't know what the rubbish that seems to almost dictate personality is a replacement for looks is about.

You can be ugly and have a crap personality. You can be great looking and have a great personality. One isn't bound by the other, of course thats obvious, but some people seem so preoccupied with what they don't have that they seem to need to assume that they have at least something unique to themselves.

I'm not ashamed to I am a normalguy with nothing exciting going in the looks department (although I can be passable when fit), and even I have had alot of female interest in me, even from very attractive girls.

I cannot see for the life of me why an earth there'd be a "Soulmate" versus "Superbabe" argument for any man on the planet. You make it sound like its such a clear cut social division as the visual difference between Black and White people.

Anyway, moving on....beauty is in the eye of the beholder, remember. Your soulmate should be your superbabe, and thats definately true for me, in any case.

Vangelis

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i always went for someone who was both.
...and in the end, i found them.

So did I. Find one, I mean.
I did not care much for the looks, but he is good-looking nonthe less.
It turns out that a person with a beautiful mind often radiates with beauty on the outside.

WhiteWashMan

Vangelis wrote:

So did I. Find one, I mean.
I did not care much for the looks, but he is good-looking nonthe less.
It turns out that a person with a beautiful mind often radiates with beauty on the outside.

perhaps, but id rather a woman with breasts instead of being flat, id rather she was curvey to being fat, and id rather she ws pretty, rather than looking like her face was used as a football.

its all well and good to be philisophical about inner beauty and all that, but at the end of the day, i dont want some ugly munter with me on a night out.
just because she has a 'beatiful mind' does not make her beautiful, it makes me want to talk to her. if shes got great tits, then i'll want to shag her as well.

you could say im crude, and youre right, but im alos being realistic. no one wants to be with someone who is ugly. but being beautiful and attractive and popular does not preclude you from being open, honest and intelligent either.

its only fat or ugly people that spread those vicious rumours about to make people feel guilty for not liking them.

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

perhaps, but id rather a woman with breasts instead of being flat, id rather she was curvey to being fat, and id rather she ws pretty, rather than looking like her face was used as a football.

its all well and good to be philisophical about inner beauty and all that, but at the end of the day, i dont want some ugly munter with me on a night out.
just because she has a 'beatiful mind' does not make her beautiful, it makes me want to talk to her. if shes got great tits, then i'll want to shag her as well.

lol

....... while boobs are v important, i don't mind if they aint that big, ie: i'd rather a fit chick, with a nice ass, than an out of shape gal, with a fat ass and big tits.

i'm a fattest, i'll drop my standards when i get blobby.