Teenage Pregnancy

katiegordon

This is kinda someone elses personal issue not mine but i wanna find out what i can do to help her:
I found out about a week ago that a friend of mine is pregnant.The only other people that know are her bf and her 2 best friends, i found out accidentally.I used to be really close to this girl but we drifted apart when she got with her bf.
This guy is bad news.I knew him before her and thats how they met, i regret ever introducing them.Hes in trouble with the police, and has cheated on her a lot.he had sex with one of her "best friends" who she is after confiding in.I tried to tell her but she wouldnt listen.
Shes ruining her future and yet shes excited about the prospect ofthe baby.Why is she being so stupid?Her other friends i cant understand either theyre planning what clothes to buy etc. shouldnt at least one of them have mentioned abortion.Or taken the whole thing seriously.
i feel someoneshould say it to her but i dont wanna be the bitch that does.I know if i did anyway she most likely wouldnt listen.
But what sort of life would the child have??i doubt her bf will be around in 9 months, theyll either hav broken up or hell be i jail.
how can she not be even considering just making a fresh go of it.?
I just dont want to see her life ruined.........What can i do?

eth0_

How old is she? Do her parents know? How far gone is she?

It's a sad reflection of society today that teenage pregnancies are accepted and WELCOMED by some parts of the community.

katiegordon

shes just gone 17 and 1 month pregnant.
I couldnt believe when instead of being in bits shes looking forward to it.The girl used to have ambitions now what has she???One of her friends actually told me to say congratulations to her!!!I said no such thing, if i cant criticise her then illl keep my mouth shut.
How can i make her see sense?

Beau

Dude I think its to late for her to have an abortion. Maybe its a good thing that shes thinking of the baby now but it sounds like its a novelty or something.

katiegordon

she only a month gone thats not too late isit?

kittenkiller

1 month isn't too late, but if she's excited & looking forward to being a mum then someone who she's lost toouch with telling her to consider it isn't going to change her mind or influence her.

You never know, the bf might settle down & cop on to his responsibilities as the pregnancy progresses.

Nothing you say to her will make a difference.

What'll her parents reaction be like?

If you really want to meddle & make her listen to what you think is best, tell her parents, but no one's gonna thank you for it & you'll probably be public enemy number 1 with all her friends.

It's an awful situation & i'm sure i'd feel the same as you if i was in the same situation (&i'm 23) but there's nothing you can do.

My friend is a single mum doing brilliantly in a really difficult college course & her 2 yr old seems to do doing just fine.

You never know, things might turn out ok for her.
All you can do is be supportive if she needs you.
It's her life & no matter what you think she's gonna do what she wants with it.

I'm sure she has thought of all the options but what she's chosen for the time being is what she wants to do.
There's always adoption if she changes her mind later on in the pregnancy or when the baby's born.

Beau

Sorry I`m completley wrong. I thought I heard that somewhere. apparently leagally its 24 weeks but many people wont do it for you after 12 weeks.

Neuro

Beau wrote:

Dude I think its to late for her to have an abortion. Maybe its a good thing that shes thinking of the baby now but it sounds like its a novelty or something.

In the UK, abortion is permitted up to the 24th week of pregnancy.

newgrange

Do you mean one month pregnant (which actually means she is only 2 weeks past her missed period), or one month since she missed a period, which is 6 weeks pregnant?
Pregnancy is measured from the last actual period, not the date of conception.
Has she been to a doctor or just done a home test?

She is very young to have to make decisions re abortion and the like, but then she is also too young to have been having sex really, yet alone what must have been unprotected sex. It's not my place or anyone else's to tell her what to do with her own body, but if she is considering abortion, she needs to start organising things now.

She will have to grow up quickly, but it is not really your place to do the difficult things for her - like tell her parents. If she thinks she is adult enough to have a small person depend on her for everything, she is at least adult enough to tell her parents what is happening. If her parents are happy to rear a 'second' family, then she might be lucky, but she has no right to assume she will be able to carry on as before (college, study, work, going out) while granny minds baby, should she decide to continue with the pregnancy.

Actions and their consequences - it's what life is about.

Beruthiel

why are you lot talking about abortion in this thread?

from what katie has said at the start of this thread, the girl is looking forward to having the baby, so discussing abortion is of no use at all. Nobody should ever be talked into doing something like this, rather it should come from them after they have thought about it.

katie
there is nothing you can do, you cannot change someones mind over this, and furthermore, it's not up to you to do so.
She has become pregnant, it is her decision what she does next.
We all know she needs her head read, but she's not the first to have this happen and she won't be the last.
Get on with your own life and let her get on with hers

Gazza22

If the girl is looking forward to having the baby, then katie, you don't have a say in anything. If she had of confided in you and asked for your help then you could air your disappointment...but she didn't.

As for telling her parents, that's a big no no. While you may be thanked by the parents, you will be hated by many others. It's just none of your business, it's her responsibility to tell her parents.

I understand what you are thinking, you see disappointment for her in the future and you feel you need to do something about it. The only thing you can do is try and sit her down, express your feelings and that's your deed done, wheather she listens to you or not.

katiegordon

she already told them well she doesnt live with her parents but she got kicked out of her house.
I know she wont listen to me but my point is she hasnt even CONSIDERED the options.The day she found out her best friends were discussing with her where to buy baby clothes.Another friend who she drifted apart from(forgot to say she earlier she knew aswell)asked her was she not considering getting rid of it and she bit her head off for not being "delighted".she cant be right in the head and neither can her friends.Surely someone close to her should suggest she should think about it???

eth0_

newgrange wrote:

She is very young to have to make decisions re abortion and the like, but then she is also too young to have been having sex really, yet alone what must have been unprotected sex.

How old are you, 90? 17 is hardly 'too young' to be having sex, get off your high horse!

AARRRGH

Beruthiel wrote:

Get on with your own life and let her get on with hers

I agree with you 100%.

This girl does not want your "help" and looks like she has already made up her mind. There is nothing you can do.

Just leave it and move on.

cee_jay

It's up to her what to do - if she was mature enough to have sex and become pregnant, she is mature enough to decide what to do now.
It's her choice, nobody else's.

Basically it's different strokes for different folks tbh!

She probably doesn't see this as ruining her life - as she is creating new life, and its easy for other people to say go have an abortion - there's a child growing inside her! and if she did have an abortion that would be something she would have to live with for the rest of her life - and that guilt alone could ruin her life.

What the girl needs most now is support - and she'll need even more of that when the baby arrives - if you do care for her, that is what you will give her.

It's her decision, she should do what feels right for her, not anyone else

newgrange

eth0_ wrote:

How old are you, 90? 17 is hardly 'too young' to be having sex, get off your high horse!

Look at her reported actions......you think she was old enough to be having sex?

Just because she 'can' and it's 'legal', does not mean she is old enough.

It now appears she has no parental support (kicked out of the house) - I wonder who she thinks will pay for all the lovely baby clothes - the tooth fairy?

I'm not 90, but I do deal daily with the results of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies, including those of children much younger than this girl.

Laguna

Some young girls (teenagers) have a completely romantic view of child birth/rearing, they think just because they're able to have sex and get pregnant they automatically have the credentials to be a mother. I've known girls in the past who I went to school with who were pregnant as teenagers and would view the whole situation with a rose tinted glow. You said your friend is delighted with the prospect of having the baby and no longer has any ambition/dreams, well this may sound harsh, but unless she quickly realises that it's not a "My baby all gone" doll and will consumer her whole life, she will soon learn once the baby arrives on the scene. I'm not surprised by the behaviour of the boyfriend having sex with her friend, I mean, isn't this the general behaviour of teenage males these days?, all fun and no responsibility, tell your friend to not bother looking for support from his direction in the future, you can already see the response she'll get.

colin300

well all i will say is this.

Since one her friends said to you u should say congrats to her well then in my opinion u should say it but say "Congrats on completely F******* your life".

Katie i completely agree 1000000% with you. She is like all the others. Not too clever and that is being nice. From the sounds of things the reason she is happy is simply because she is the centre of attention. On the raising of the child thing i dont think that will be a problem because in this country we pay for other peoples mistakes by giving them living alone allowance and all that so money will definately not be a problem unless with the great influence of her bf turns to drugs.
I couldn't comment on the abortion thing as I believe it is completely down to when u urself have to make the decision.

If and this only me but if that were to ever happen i would without hesitation no matter whether it was a one time thing or something support the child. I see no way how a guy can just forget about it.

embee

katie,

Regardless of your own personal opinion on her being stupid for going ahead with this pregnancy, as a friend and someone who wants to help her, you would be better off biting your tongue about your disapproval. She isn't seeking your approval. If she was, she would have told you about the pregnancy personally rather than you finding out accidentally. Sure, she is young to be having a child, and if I were in your position and was that age, I think that I would privately be worried about her too. However, as her friend, you aren't there to criticise her and judge her, you are there to offer support and friendship. You don't have to leap up and down for joy and shout congratulations from the rooftops, but quietly letting her know that she can rely on your friendship and support, irrespective of your own personal feeling on the issue, will do her a bigger favour than lacing into her about how stupid she has been. Its early days, but from what you have been saying, she seems pretty excited about the prospect and would probably be very adamant that abortion is absolutely not an option, were it suggested to her. If you care about her, you will offer your support and friendship instead of condemnation and harsh words.

Good luck in any case to her.

embee

colin300 wrote:

well all i will say is this.

Since one her friends said to you u should say congrats to her well then in my opinion u should say it but say "Congrats on completely F******* your life".

Katie i completely agree 1000000% with you. She is like all the others. Not too clever and that is being nice. From the sounds of things the reason she is happy is simply because she is the centre of attention. On the raising of the child thing i dont think that will be a problem because in this country we pay for other peoples mistakes by giving them living alone allowance and all that so money will definately not be a problem unless with the great influence of her bf turns to drugs.
I couldn't comment on the abortion thing as I believe it is completely down to when u urself have to make the decision.

If and this only me but if that were to ever happen i would without hesitation no matter whether it was a one time thing or something support the child. I see no way how a guy can just forget about it.

Colin, the girl in question will pay for her mistakes too. Not necessarily in a financial way, but her life is going to drastically change and she may lose friends, alienate herself from her family, and will have to grow up pretty sharpish. Its a very simplified view to take the notion that she is going to be yet another sponger on society, but I hardly think she got pregnant with that in mind. We all pay tax, and she will too someday more than likely. An unmarried woman of any age it seems is a "sponger" if she gets pregnant and claims single parent allowance, but you need to see the bigger picture.

OfflerCrocGod

cAr0l wrote:

she was mature enough to have sex and become pregnant,

Now I'm usually the first person to admit my own lack of knowledge when it comes to sexual matters but could you please enlighten me as to where you got the idea that maturity is prerequisite for sexual intercourse? Last I checked genitals - and sometimes alcohol - are involved but as for maturity.......I'm sorry but it seems I missed that particular society changing memo.

Maturity is not a prerequisite for sex.
Therefore it is not a prerequisite for pregnancy either.

Beruthiel wrote:

katie
there is nothing you can do, you cannot change someones mind over this, and furthermore, it's not up to you to do so. .... Get on with your own life and let her get on with hers

Good advice. Katie you don't want to be a nasty girl and tell your friend that her 'boyfriend' the father of the child is ****ing her best friend behind her back; that's unpleasant stuff which is best left uncovered! As for the fact that you know the father of the child is involved in criminal activities and you doubt that he will be a free man (using the term loosely) in time for the birth is not something you should burden the mother of the child with. Instead you should go out shopping for baby clothes and other nice and sweet things. Issues such who is going to take care of the child and who is going to pay for it and support it are simply too stressful to deal with and should therefore be safely ignored. Everything will be just fine

embee wrote:

Sure, she is young to be having a child, and if I were in your position and was that age, I think that I would privately be worried about her too. However, as her friend, you aren't there to criticise her and judge her, you are there to offer support and friendship.

More excellent advice! Gee willickers this thread is bursting with good counsel. Friends are there to keep quiet when their friends are making mistakes. Friends are there not to discuss life changing decisions and to give counsel or advice in difficult situations, as a friend you're not there to give your friend a different perspective on their decisions. NO; not at all, you are there to simply shut up, sit in a corner, nod and smile and of course to agree with every decision your friend makes. No matter what possible effect the decision has on your friends life.

Beruthiel wrote:

Nobody should ever be talked into doing something like this, rather it should come from them after they have thought about it.

If you're lacking a brain then were does the thinking come from? Your faithful boyfriend? If he is not too busy being arrested that is.

embee

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

More excellent advice! Gee willickers this thread is bursting with good counsel. Friends are there to keep quiet when their friends are making mistakes. Friends are there not to discuss life changing decisions and to give counsel or advice in difficult situations, as a friend you're not there to give your friend a different perspective on their decisions. NO; not at all, you are there to simply shut up, sit in a corner, nod and smile and of course to agree with every decision your friend makes.

My point was that, to be a good friend, you should support your friends, irrespective of whether or not you agree with choices that they make. It can be argued that this girl is old enough to make her own decisions, and it seems she has done exactly that. The doubt, disapproval and grievance her friend feels won't really change whats going to happen - the girl is going to have her baby. She doesn't have to agree at all, but if she cares about her like she says she does, and is concerned, she should realise that, no matter what she says, its not going to change her friends decision.

eth0_

newgrange wrote:

Look at her reported actions......you think she was old enough to be having sex?

I'm 24 and I can make a mistake and get pregnant, just like she could have.
Condoms split, she might have been on the pill and been sick, you don't know so how can you judge?

It now appears she has no parental support (kicked out of the house) - I wonder who she thinks will pay for all the lovely baby clothes - the tooth fairy?

The state, that's who.
Teenage mothers have it comparitively easy in this country.

cee_jay

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

Now I'm usually the first person to admit my own lack of knowledge when it comes to sexual matters but could you please enlighten me as to where you got the idea that maturity is prerequisite for sexual intercourse? Last I checked genitals - and sometimes alcohol - are involved but as for maturity.......I'm sorry but it seems I missed that particular society changing memo.

Maturity is not a prerequisite for sex.
Therefore it is not a prerequisite for pregnancy either.

I'm just saying if the girl is old enough to make the decision to have sex, she is old enough to deal with the consequences.

To the OP, the bottom line is, its up to her what she decides, she doesn't need everyone saying she is stupid, what a terrible mistake she's making, she's ruining her life etc. etc.

She has made the decision that she is going to have this child, and all you can do now is support her.

I know it is hard to look on knowing that she could be making the biggest mistake of her life, but it's her life, her choice.

Just be a friend, and be there for her when she needs it

astrofool

heh, OfflerCrocGod's post was slightly sarcastic.

tbh, as you said, you deal with other girls younger than this yourself, whats the advice to them usually? Whats your responsibility to them? Would you do anything less for a friend, even if (oh n03) you might be unpopular with a few (dim) people. Someone needs to play Devil's Advocate, if only to bring some reality to the situation. If that person must be you, then just hope you have the courage to do so. it's oh sooo much easier to be the nice person, but that would be doing the friend a disservice.

iguana

katiegordon wrote:

I know she wont listen to me but my point is she hasnt even CONSIDERED the options.The day she found out her best friends were discussing with her where to buy baby clothes.

Did you ever consider that she chose to become pregnant? She obviously loves/thinks she loves her bf and is probably aware of his behaviour on some level. She may hope the baby will tie him to her, or that by bearing his child he will realise he deeply loves her and settle down with her.

There is nothing you can do to make her choose not to have this baby. You may feel it is a mistake, to her it could be exactly what she wants right now. Either be ready to help her in a way she may need in the future or step back from her.

Airblazer

in years to come she will look back and regret getting pregnant so early...i know loads of girls who have babies at young ages and all admitted later on that they missed the whole teenage thing...going out with your mates ..getting drunk..not having to worry about cash etc...regardless of social welfare she will feel the pinch from having less money..they'll be no more blowing money on the latest fashions,makeup etc..babies cost money and a lot of money...best thing you can do is say nothing and move on..at least you sound like a sensible girl so if one person learns from another person's mistake then it's good.

OfflerCrocGod

embee wrote:

My point was that, to be a good friend, you should support your friends, irrespective of whether or not you agree with choices that they make.

Your friend decides to commit suicide. What would you do? "support your friend" or try and help her change her mind? We all know the answer to that! embee of course says "sharpen the razor blades!"

embee wrote:

It can be argued that this girl is old enough to make her own decisions, and it seems she has done exactly that.

It could also be argued that the moon is made of cheese. It doesn't mean you shouldn't react when someone is arguing pure idiocy or when you feel they are not taking into account all possible conclusions and options. Especially if you class them as a friend.

embee wrote:

The doubt, disapproval and grievance her friend feels won't really change whats going to happen - the girl is going to have her baby. She doesn't have to agree at all, but if she cares about her like she says she does, and is concerned, she should realise that, no matter what she says, its not going to change her friends decision.

You seem certain of this fact. Oh to be omniscient! Like embee is. What a fool I have been for thinking that maybe if you sit down with someone and explain to them your misgivings and doubts and point out to them the other quite rational avenues of action that maybe they'll say. "You know you're right maybe Deco ain't the best father for a child. Anyway I'm seeing Anto right now and I doubt he'll stick around if I have a child. Or his brother, Peto. I suppose I never really loved him - I just liked the noise he made when he laughed; like a struggling moped......sigh".

cAr0l wrote:

I'm just saying if the girl is old enough to make the decision to have sex, she is old enough to deal with the consequences.

You can make the 'decision' when you're 13. This girl is 17 going on 6 in the maturity stakes. Or 7.

cAr0l wrote:

To the OP, the bottom line is, its up to her what she decides, she doesn't need everyone saying she is stupid, what a terrible mistake she's making, she's ruining her life etc. etc.

No the bottom line is that no one has so far mentioned to her "what a terrible mistake she's making". That is the reason why the OP posted in the first place! They are more worried about baby clothes and cribs then consequences and costs.

cAr0l wrote:

She has made the decision that she is going to have this child, and all you can do now is support her.

No you could try point out to her she is making a mess of her life and a big mistake.

cAr0l wrote:

I know it is hard to look on knowing that she could be making the biggest mistake of her life, but it's her life, her choice. Just be a friend, and be there for her when she needs it

Just be a friend and shut up.

By the way I'm currently listening to a baby cry whose father hasn't shown up for nearly 2 years (as soon as he found out). The girl quit school to have it and she now works in a clothes shop because it's the best she can get. Her mother helps her take care of the child. The child will grow up with no father. Just one more to add to the pile.

Gordon

Well katie, as a friend I think you've got to speak to her and alert her to your view of the situation. If you have these doubts then at least you must speak with her about them. Maybe it will be a futile cause but it's never pointless to offer a blunt statement of a very valid fear. If she still decides to have the baby after listening to all sides then I guess there isn't much you can do but at the very least you should be a friend and tell her that you are worried.

What's that phrase - 'won't somebody think of the children'?!

Offlercrocgod makes some good points, though he seems to be getting a tad wound up about it! Just because one can have sex does not mean that one can have a baby, I believe. The most important thing is the life of the child imo. From the sounds of it there are possible problems ahead concerning the father.

I'm not saying that you should tell her not to have the kid by the way. All I'm saying is that she should get a balanced view from people that care about her. She should at least be alerted bluntly of the possible outcomes such as: the father having nothing to do with the kid, the difficulties of being a single mother and the other aspects that I have absolutely no idea about... Just speak with her and hopefully she will start off on the right foot with a strong mind.

Victor

While having a baby is a huge responsbility and your friend probably needs to catch up on realities, it isn't the end of the world.

Shyster

Katie, I don't think it is your place to say anything to this girl. It's blunt but, whats done is done.
You said you're not very close to her anymore, so i highly doubt she will want to hear anything negative you have to say. If you feel like you HAVE to talk to her about it, I suggest you say it to her close friends.

A friend of mine recently had a baby, and, though we all thought it would completely ruin her future, her education and her life...she has proved us wrong, and is now happier than any of us are.

Basically what Im trying to say is that it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of the clothes and having a baby of your own, but it wont take her long to realise that it's not easy.

But most importantly, you need to realise that she hasnt necessarily ruined her life, so don't worry about it, and don't get mixed up in it.

embee

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

Your friend decides to commit suicide. What would you do? "support your friend" or try and help her change her mind? We all know the answer to that! embee of course says "sharpen the razor blades!"It could also be argued that the moon is made of cheese. It doesn't mean you shouldn't react when someone is arguing pure idiocy or when you feel they are not taking into account all possible conclusions and options. Especially if you class them as a friend.You seem certain of this fact. Oh to be omniscient! Like embee is. What a fool I have been for thinking that maybe if you sit down with someone and explain to them your misgivings and doubts and point out to them the other quite rational avenues of action that maybe they'll say. "You know you're right maybe Deco ain't the best father for a child. Anyway I'm seeing Anto right now and I doubt he'll stick around if I have a child. Or his brother, Peto. I suppose I never really loved him - I just liked the noise he made when he laughed; like a struggling moped......sigh".

Offler, I think you are missing my point. Sure, if a friend was doing something I thought was stupid and ill thought out, I would point it out. However, sitting someone down and telling them that you think they're being stupid still won't change matters. Your sarcasm here is unnecessary - I never claimed to be omniscient. It just so happens that I am pregnant at the moment, due in January. Okay, so I'm not 17, but I'm still pretty young by todays standards to be having a child, and I know that personally speaking, I wouldn't appreciate being told that what I was doing was stupid. Nobody has though, thankfully. I'm sure there are possibly individuals who think that its stupid, but thats their issue and their problem. I don't have a problem with it, so it matters not to me what anyone else thinks. Sure, everyone has misgivings and doubts, I do too sometimes, but it won't change a thing. My personal circumstances are somewhat different to the girl in questions though : I have been with my partner for three years, I'm in my mid-twenties, we both work fulltime and I'm not going to be a "single" mother. You talk about pointing out other "rational avenues of action". What do you mean by that precisely? Abortion? Adoption? Something else? To an observer they may be rational, but it is a very different situation when you actually are pregnant and have to consider all the options. From my own point of view, I don't think abortion as a lifestyle choice would have been a "rational avenue" to consider, neither would adoption. Abortion is a sensitive issue, I don't think its something that should be casually suggested to someone as an option. Its something that the individual needs to consider on their own, and if she and/or her partner arrive at the conclusion that its the most rational solution, fair enough. Each to their own, but its a very personal decision and not one that should be bandied about.

Nevyn

katiegordon
look i know her situation sounds less then ideal and she sounds less then
prepared for what this will do to her body and her life, but you really
can't life her life for her.

Why not buy her a nice gift, a book or guide to pregnacy and the first
few mnths of motherhood. Something with a lot of detail and helpful
information and pictures about what she and her body will go through
during and after the pregnacy.

Why not get her to make an appointment with her GP to get the pregancy
confirmed, I am sure the gp will have a thing or two to say to her and
the GP will then get her to make an appointment at a maternity hospital.

When she goes in for her first visist due to her age she will most likely
end up talking to a socail worker about her situation and they will clue her
in and offer what ever help they can.

The hospital will also want her as a young first time mother to go to
prenatal classes these will explain to her what to expect and teach some life
skills for coping after the birth.

Could be she is putting on a brave face of it.
It is not unknown for girls to when they have fallen out with thier parents
are are feeling utterly unloved they go off and have a kid who will love them
no matter what.
Then again should could be crying herself to sleep each night when no one is
arround.

There are many ways that you can be supportive with out condoning her
actions.

Good luck.

OfflerCrocGod

embee your situation is not even remotely the same as this girls. You are in a loving relationship with a supportive partner and are old enough to understand the consequences. This girl is nothing like you. Abortion? Well if she wants it, if she ends up seeing that her child will more then likely end up having a jail clown (keeps tumbling in and out) for a father then maybe she'll realise that the life her child will be living would not be as good as one she could offer to one when she is older and with a proper adult companion - as opposed to a boy. Since the childs family life will be very important in shaping it's future I can just see it growing up to found the "Westies II" gang - sure it's the same job as the old man afterall......No one seems to consider the future for this child. ihatepunx eth0_ isn't calling for the return of the old way of doing things; I think it's more a cry for more responsibility to be shown by the youth of this country. Babies are a fine thing but the childhood they experience shapes them in the adults they grow to be. It's better a happy childhood then a broken family child.

Nevyn

OfflerCrocGod
Your points maybe vaild but they are more fitting to humanites then here.
Why not start a thread there ?

Please read the charter
have a nice day
Thaed

DaisyDuke

newgrange wrote:

It now appears she has no parental support (kicked out of the house) - I wonder who she thinks will pay for all the lovely baby clothes - the tooth fairy?

No, not the tooth fairy, us - the tax payer.

katiegordon

katiegordon wrote:

she already told them well she doesnt live with her parents but she got kicked out of her house.

A baby is not an ideal situation for the poor girl but also the end of the world either. If she is genuinely happy then all you can do is support her.

i think its sad her parents wont support her and from the above evidence.

shes not the first teenager to get pregnant and wont be the last.

i can see why you are more concerned then someone normally would be and it proves you are a true friend to this girl . Hopefully when the time comes they will, presuming she will go ahead and have the baby.

there is plenty of support groups to help people in this scenario which is the only advice i can give.

i hope the father does the honourable thing and stands by her as well

Another friend who she drifted apart from(forgot to say she earlier she knew aswell)asked her was she not considering getting rid of it and she bit her head off for not being "delighted".she cant be right in the head and neither can her friends.

in fairness it may prove to be a massive regret in hindsight in years to come if she got rid of this child through either adoption or abortion so there is 2 sides to the coin

Victor

Take it elsewhere Daisy.

jellybaby21

The state, that's who.
Teenage mothers have it comparitively easy in this country.[/QUOTE]That statement has really annoyed me. I am 21 and have a 3 year old daughter. I was 18 when I had her. Don't go making statements like that when you don't know what you're talking about.
Have you any idea how hard it is being a young mum? Obviously not.
Everybody makes mistakes.
Teenage mothers don't all have it easy, I know I didn't anyway still don't.
€160 odd euro a week to feed and clothe myself and my daughter?? Come on!! I'm only able to go to work now for a few hours because my daughter has just started playschool. I've had a very stressful three years, watching all my friends going to college etc., knowing I should've been going too but the lack of childminding facilities prevented me from doing this.
I have suffered with really bad panic attacks over the last year which my doctor wanted me to go on anti-depressants for and I am only starting to get over them now. Panic attacks are the worst feelings in the world. You actually believe something is seriously wrong with you or that you're going 'mad'. All caused by stress.
So don't tell me teenage mothers have it easy in this country.
Sorry for going off topic but had to be said :mad: