Strangled Beauty

BEAT

* a little something I wrote today after a conversation with a friend*

Strangled Beauty

In his eyes Id have never thought myself beautiful,
Invisible is more like it.
I don’t really know him and If I had met him before now Id have smiled
And walked away…
The only thing is that he actually spoke to me, he ‘saw’ me.

There are many days when Id like to not ‘face’ the world and feel
So unfortunate to look into a mirror…and other days I feel perfectly fine,
But in any of my changing moods Id never have thought Id be someone that would catch the attention of someone so…Beautiful.

Naturally, I’m suspicious right away.
He called me “gorgeous”…what could he want from me?
My guard is up and no longer do I see it as a compliment…I’ve become
Secret Agent, my mission: to find out what he is up to.

I’ve not seen many as Beautiful as he is, and I’ve never thought myself in that “league”
Yet, he is trying to get to know me.

Do I look like an easy target? Like someone stupid enough to eat up compliments and put all better judgment aside?
Why do these thoughts consume me?

I don’t find myself so unattractive that no one would want me but I keep hearing this voice nevertheless, telling me I’m not good enough. It echoes in my mind and closes my eyes to the truth.

How did this happen…how does someone become this insecure? We are not born this way…what happened along the way.

Were they lying all those years? Am I really ‘beautiful’?
It’s hard to know for sure because my eyes have been turned against me.
My own eyes have been turned against me.

It’s been a long time since I could see myself…and now I’m being forced to look through
Another’s eyes,
I’m still trying to decide what it is I see…
My eyes are beginning to open.

BEAT

hmm no opinions huh...that bad?

Gross Halfwit

Latin Beat. I like waht you have written, simple, expressive and conversational. It was a soothing yet unsettling read. Soothing as it flowed just like conversation and there were no harsh sounds in it (if you catch my drift?) except for the 3rd stanza when there were a few hard "k" sounds (Called, could, complimtent). It didnt have a clear cut structure which added to its feeling of a rambling chit chat. Almost like you were confiding in us as if we, the readers, were trusted friends. Whilst i like structure sometimes freestyle is much more effective such as here.

As for the content. I have second guessed myself before and have been mistrusting of others so I know where you are coming from. I felt that the words you used were simple, effective and emotive. I found myself wanting to give you a hug by the end of it. Not In a freaky way.

"Were they lying all those years? Am I really ‘beautiful’?
It’s hard to know for sure because my eyes have been turned against me.
My own eyes have been turned against me."

I liked this stanza. Those three lines say an awful lot. The repetition just drove it home. Very good.

BEAT

thank you so much for your comments,
I see I came accross exactly as I meant to.

Gross Halfwit

LATIN BEAT wrote:

thank you so much for your comments,
I see I came accross exactly as I meant to.

Thats always a good thing. I feel like I have to say something like, chin up old girl etc. I think Ill go read your back catalogue...should you have one that is.

ziggy sawdust

i wanted to like it, but I couldn't.

Thing is, it's not a poem

It's a nicely written diary entry.

And there's a world of difference between the two.

(By the way, he likes you - take my advice and the next time you see him just kiss him - on the lips and as if your life depends on it - and hey, if you were wrong you'll still have enjoyed the moment!!)

ZS

McFiddler

Hey Beat
Sorry but I'm afraid I have to agree with Ziggy. The thing is I just don't know what it is. Is it poetry, prose or something totally original? I really enjoy reading your daily observation entries, to the point where I find it almost therapeutic, and perhaps this would better belong there with a different structure (maybe it is, haven't checked)

Also......

Assuming what you have written is not a piece of fiction and judging you completely by those daily observation entries I don't think I'd give a damn what you look like. Even though you did ban me before

BEAT

Thank you for the comments Mcfiddler, I am extremely flattered. Perhaps I need to explain here is a definition:

Creative Writing


Prose

Creative writing is intended to entertain. Good creative writing also contains a message - a statement about life or the nature of mankind. To entertain it must be interesting and "alive."

So yes, it is a piece of prose as you guessed.
Thank you about the coments of my daily observations...I have been meaning to write more. I think I will make an entry today.

ziggy sawdust

can't believe you banned mcfiddler, Miss beat, he seems like such a convivial chap!!

ZS