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  • 14-09-2005 7:51pm
    #1
    el_tiddlero
    Registered Users Posts: 400 ✭✭


    MIGHTIER THAN SWORDS

    A fallen arch, a broken home
    Devastated and destroyed
    By the one who made it whole
    Corrupted by unkind design
    The vision of a tainted mind
    A troubled soul, a broken heart
    Framed and mounted high
    By the winner of the war
    A frozen point in time
    Looped over, play, rewind
    Ever after, spoken truth
    Contradicts an instinct
    Best left unsaid to begin.


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    #2
    humbleCounty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭humbleCounty


    i like it. very simple, good ideas, nothing overly obvious.

    took me a few reads to get the rythm, but its pretty good once ya get it, maybe if ya split it up into seperate verses, or something it might be more obvious, i dunno. tis good. Actually just read it again, it might even be a little more than good!


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    #3
    el_tiddlero
    Registered Users Posts: 400 ✭✭el_tiddlero


    thanks for the feedback!! I did have it split up and punctuated more but i didnt like it as much, i know where you're coming from though. Its always the struggle, to leave something loose and open to interpretation or to set it in stone so hard that there's only one way to draw meaning from it... ah the eternal struggle!! ;)


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