butterflies in your stomach after meeting someone new

LegacyUser

hi

what do you do when you meet someone new?

i met someone on saturday. we did not sleep with each other but we spent the sunday together kissing and having fun. we seem to have clicked.

i know it is only tuesday but i have severe butterflies in my stomach regarding this person. i have their phone number but i know it is too soon to ring them.

we have not spoken since sunday.

i have just sent her a quick "hello" email.

what do you do in situations like this? do you keep yourself busy or do you break the rules and just ring them?

i'm a guy. advice from females appreciated.

is she probably thinking the same as me?

i'm sorry if i sound silly.

Seraphina

lookin4advice wrote:

is she probably thinking the same as me?

i'm sorry if i sound silly.

the last part is the only thing that made you sound silly. how the hell are we supposed to know what she's thinking just because we're female.
it sounds like the two of you had a good time, and the only way you're gonna find out anything else is by CALLING HER.

**** whatever stupid rules you might have. the idea of having rules about when to call someone is ridiculous.

call her. today/tomorrow/whenever you work up the courage (actually no, call her this week at least)
see if she wants to do something. you'll get a yay or a nay and its as simple as that.

up for anything

I agree with Seraphina. To hell with the rules, they're ridiculous.

jammie

Being a female I cant tell you what shes thinking, no one can only her!!! But PLEASE dont go by rules!?!!! What has that got to do with anything, for gods sake, bloody ring her NOW!!!!!! You wont be thinking rules if she like you say has this affect on you, you never know she might even be "the one" NOW GO TEXT/RING her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jesus_thats_gre

yeah the whole rules thing is a load of bollox..

Victor

"OMG, he hasn't phoned yet"

Stark

It's okay Victor, he's going to call you now

Personally I think a phone call is FAR better than a "hello" e-mail. A "hello" e-mail just leaves you sitting there thinking "okay.... what am I supposed to say to this?" whereas a phone call can convey the chemistry you had.

JungleBunny

Who came up with those stupid rules anyway???
Ignore them and call her! She is probably going crazy, thinking you don't like her coz you have not called her.
Now get on that phone!!!

WhiteWashMan

there are no rules.

phone and stop being stupid.

dramaqueen

Phone her and chuck the rules away.

Santa Claus

I refer to my previous advice to Zulu in another thread :

Santa Claus wrote:

Remember God didn't just give us testicles to produce sperm, they're also there to give us the courage to call women !!!

Emailing & texting are cop outs in my opinion. If you want someone to know you're interested in them, just call them!

snorlax

definetly phone her, why is there rules btw about the length of time fellas wait before calling after a date?

if you like someone that much should you not just call the following day?

Khannie

Wow, unanimous feedback. Haven't seen this since the "bald guy: shave your head" incident.

For what it's worth: I agree with them all. Fup the rules. Make the call.

Imposter

I'll dissagree. I suggest you email her the rules in case she is using a different set!

AARRRGH

Imposter wrote:

I'll dissagree. I suggest you email her the rules in case she is using a different set!

LOL!

Although I hate "playing games" or following "rules" etc., I think IN GENERAL it is a good idea to not seem so keen. Waiting a few days to ring/call does get the other person thinking, and does make them really appreciate your call when it comes.

Sometimes being too enthuastic can be off putting.

IMHO, better to be safe than sorry, and leave some time between phone calls/etc.

gline

Imposter wrote:

I'll dissagree. I suggest you email her the rules in case she is using a different set!

LOL,

nah i agree with the advice above like in zulus post, what rules?? there are rules?? to hell with that. The one way to find out is to pick up the phone and ring, nothing to lose tbh

FunkyChick

snorlax wrote:

definetly phone her, why is there rules btw about the length of time fellas wait before calling after a date?

if you like someone that much should you not just call the following day?

Agreed! Why not be yourself and show her that you are into her? She'll probably be delighted that you are so keen! And honest too! You should call her!

OP, Did you get a reply to your email? It sounds like ye really clicked on Saturday and Sunday anyway... I'm sure it's all good.

trishw78

Imposter wrote:

I'll dissagree. I suggest you email her the rules in case she is using a different set!

What are the "rules" I've never heard of them or have I been living a little too long on Plant ZomZom

Kingp35

why is there always one of these threads in PI?

For god sakes man RING THE GIRL!!!!!!

AARRRGH

trishw78 wrote:

What are the "rules" I've never heard of them or have I been living a little too long on Plant ZomZom

Be honest.

If a guy rings you the day after meeting you... you think, awwww, he likes me.

If the guy rings you...three days after meeting you... you think, thank god he rang me!

Suddenly he is more valuable, right?

I know it's wrong, but a LOT of people do work that way.

Know what I mean?

Fysh

dublindude wrote:

Be honest.

If a guy rings you the day after meeting you... you think, awwww, he likes me.

If the guy rings you...three days after meeting you... you think, thank god he rang me!

Suddenly he is more valuable, right?

I know it's wrong, but a LOT of people do work that way.

Know what I mean?

It's not so much that it's wrong as that it's bloody stupid. And, frankly, acting aloof in case someone's immature enough to find it attractive is just asking for trouble. It's the sort of thing where neither of you will dare actually admit you like each other because it's "one of the rules". Load of teenage pseudo-macho crap, imo.

OP : Screw the play-it-cool stuff - if you've spent all Sunday with this girl and have clicked with her in whatever way, phone her. Unless she's a header and was just trying to mess with your head on Sunday, she'll be glad you called.

AARRRGH

Fysh wrote:

It's not so much that it's wrong as that it's bloody stupid. And, frankly, acting aloof in case someone's immature enough to find it attractive is just asking for trouble. It's the sort of thing where neither of you will dare actually admit you like each other because it's "one of the rules". Load of teenage pseudo-macho crap, imo.

OP : Screw the play-it-cool stuff - if you've spent all Sunday with this girl and have clicked with her in whatever way, phone her. Unless she's a header and was just trying to mess with your head on Sunday, she'll be glad you called.

I agree that things like not-trying-to-look-too-keen etc are silly and possibly bloody stupid (as you say), but the reality is, trying to not seem too keen does work...

I think the OP shouldn't rush into anything. Especially if she hasn't rang him yet (assuming she has his number?)

Being too keen has defo cost people relationships in the past... Playing it cool, while slightly annoying and ridiculous, generally works...

s4dd

i dunno.. i guess i happen to enjoy the whole "chase" aspect playing the game can be quite fun for both parties, so long as it doesn't get head wrecking ofc!

Fysh

If you're the sort of person who enjoys the chase, then that's fine. On the other hand, judging from the OP's post, I'd assume he's not that type - presumably he'd already know what to do if he were. In light of this, screw the "rules". How many people need to post saying they're nonsense before we start to consider the possibility that maybe they're nonsense? I mean, ok, this could just be me, but I've yet to meet a girl who's said "thank god you didn't ring me until several days after we met, I'd definitely have avoided you if you'd been open about liking me".

(Yes, I know, there's a difference between being open & honest and being smotheringly clingy. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic in hoping everyone's aware of this distinction, at least enough to not come off as a total stalker straight away...)

cheeseball104

ring her please. had a similar experience recently. didnt ring.........

pdunno

ok, I have been following this thread and wonder how the OP fared out? Did you send a text, call or whatever and how did you get on?

Dizzyblabla

humm.. from a girls point fo view, I'd like to know too... I always wonder what should happen, if a guy says he'll call, do you wait until he calls? or can you text first??! You think I'd have figured it out at this stage of my life, but no, I haven't!

ergo

OK, presumably this is a very frequent topic in PI but I must have missed most of the previous ones

the film Swingers (which is fantastic, go watch it if you haven't seen it) is something I always think about when I'm in such a situation

this scene in particular, Mike has just got a hard-won phone number

Rule Twelve:
The Waiting Game.

CHARLES
Eight-one-eight.

MIKE
Three-one-oh.

*Everyone reacts favorably to this area code.*

MIKE
How long do I wait to call?

TRENT
A day.

MIKE
Tomorrow?

TRENT
No...

SUE
...Tomorrow, then a day.

TRENT
...Yeah.

MIKE
So, two days?

TRENT
Yeah, I guess you could call it that.

SUE
Definitely. Two days. That's the industry standard.

TRENT
(to Sue, shop talk)
...I used to wait two days. Now everyone waits two
days. Three days is kinda the money now, don't
you think?

SUE
...Yeah. But two's enough not to look anxious...

TRENT
Yeah, but three days is kinda the money...

MIKE
(interrupting sarcastically)
Why don't I just wait three weeks and tell her
I was cleaning out my wallet and found her number...

CHARLES
...then ask where you met her...

MIKE
Yeah, I'll tell her I don't remember and the I'll
ask what she looks like.
(pause)
Then I'll ask if we ****ed. How's that, Tee? Is
that "the money'?

The guys laugh.

TRENT
Laugh all you want, but if you call too soon you can
scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.

SUE
Don't listen to him. You call whenever it feels right.
to you.

MIKE
How long you guys gonna wait to call your honeys?

TRENT AND SUE
Six days.


I love that film

and to OP, what happened?

Le Rack

I'm a girl, I get those butterfly thingies, Sometimes they're realy intense and fabulous and you just can't wait to be with the person again, but I've had them in a bad sense too, as if to say "Just don't come near, please just don't touch me" more like anxiety and fear I suppose....
CAll her! Now!

Third_Echelon

JungleBunny wrote:

Who came up with those stupid rules anyway???....

zee germans made zee rules...

hurry up and call her already....

Firetrap

Make that call. Think how you would feel if you met someone, got on really well with them, then didn't hear from them for days. A close friend of mine is going through that very experience at the moment and I really feel for her. If you like someone and think they like you too, just cut to the chase and contact them again.

Laguna

Butterflies ey?, sure, don't we all get them when we meet someone we find very attractive?. It doesn't mean anything above a sexual attraction surely?.
Well, to the OP, If I met a girl I liked, I'd call her the next day, these stupid rules are made by people who probably stay single all their lives just to seem "not too keen", cutting off their nose to spite their face really..

Civilian_Target

Last time (well, only time) I met a girl who gave me proper butterflies - I contacted her the evening I got her number, and we were together within 3 days. I made a complete cock of the "rules" and despite the whole affair lasting less than 3 weeks (I was leaving the country), it was one of those fanstastic things I'll never forget and never regret.

You better have phoned her already!

Le Rack

Civilian_Target wrote:

Last time (well, only time) I met a girl who gave me proper butterflies - I contacted her the evening I got her number, and we were together within 3 days. I made a complete cock of the "rules" and despite the whole affair lasting less than 3 weeks (I was leaving the country), it was one of those fanstastic things I'll never forget and never regret.

You better have phoned her already!

Here! Here!