anyone miss there x

LegacyUser

i'm thinking, ye, there's a few of u.

anyway, just thought i'd unload my wee problem.

i'm going out with a beautiful girl, not sure about the love thing, never realy been. i know i wanna be with her, and wanna see where it goes.

thing is, i still think of my x alot, we're broken up a couple of years, but still stayed in touch, alot less over the past year, since she got engaged, she could even be married now.

she was prety devoted to me, but i basicly couldn't comit to the relationship, felt trapped etc...

i realy want it to work with my new gf, she's fantastic, she's like the perfect woman, and i do want her around.

i feel bad for my current gf that i still, after all this time, miss my x.

guess i just wanna know if there's others out there in the same situation, or who have been.

........is this normal?

Kell

anyone miss there x

No.

K-

jcoote

i miss a couple of my ex's because i did go out with them because they were really nice girls and why wouldn't i miss nice girls!!

anyway i'm hoping that your reason for spliting up with your last x (feeling trapped etc.) doesn' effect u in this relationship...a huge amount of relationships break down due to one or both members having a basic fear of intimacy...could that be something...just a thought

dramaqueen

The thing with ex's is that you are not together for a reason.
With the passing of time, you forget the bad stuff and start to only remember the good stuff. It's not fair to your new girlfriend to be thinking about another woman. Try to move on with your life and look forward not backwards.

Santa Claus

as dramaqueen said, we always romanticise the good times we had with ex's and forget about all the bad stuff.

Try to remember some particularly nasty times you had with you ex and that should do the trick.
Course the fact she's getting married could be causing this also, a case of "that could have been me getting married to her".

I still think of 1 of my ex's quite a bit. It's an unconcious thing, you see a dvd and think "oh i remember going to see that with X" but the main thing is not to linger over it.
The important thing is there's a difference between thinking of someone and missing them !

Beruthiel

anyone miss there x

no
I can't understand why anyone would
they are ex for a good reason

jcoote

but not all relationships end on a bad note so u could miss an ex in that case

20 Times 20 Times

sometimes , but then i think of all the bad times we had as well and this is the reason she is my ex the bad times will out weigh the good times that is why they are your ex !

s4dd

gar, why must PI attempt to drag out all my pain!

i've seen other girls since my ex.. i guess i'm of the opinion that if you love someone.. REALLY love someone, then that never really goes away. may get much easier to deal with or push under the surface, but it never really disappears.

call me "overly romantic" if you will, but that's how it feels to me.

sutty

Cant say I miss any of mine. For about a month I do. Then I get over them and all is well. As it was said. They are your ex for a reason.

g'em

course its normal to miss your ex. some peeps do, others can cut off exes without a second thought. lke some of the others said though, we tend to romanticise our exes and forget the reasons we broke up with them. don't let it stand in the way of you and the current lovely lady being happy together, the ex seems to have moved on quite well, make sure you do the same!

rainbow kirby

In a way, I do miss my ex... but not half as much as I used to.

Praetorian

Beruthiel wrote:

anyone miss there x

no
I can't understand why anyone would
they are ex for a good reason

sutty wrote:

As it was said. They are your ex for a reason.

Of course you can miss your ex, if your ex was the one that split up with you in the first place, for example.

carbonkid

Beruthiel wrote:

anyone miss there x

no
I can't understand why anyone would
they are ex for a good reason

Because when relationships break up theres always going to be the one who didnt want to, thats what makes break ups so messy :S

Red Alert

No i don't miss my ex anymore for about the last five months

panda100

Well ive had two serious relationships in my little life so far-and i still think bout both of them lots even though i broke up with both of them.i think when you really are in love with someone then its difficult to ever stop loving them.The other week i found out one of my ex's had kissed this girl i know and i did feel jealous.I think everyone is different and some people get over things v.quickly buti always find it difficult to get over people when u've been in an intense relationship.

Diarmsquid

No

bug

depends really on what you miss I suppose, or in your case what way you're missing someone and why.

Me, I miss everyone that ends up not in my life for one reason or another.
generally cos if I choose someone to be a mate or boyfriend, I'd hold them in pretty high regard anyways... and generally cos I'm a softie underneath.

You always have good times, otherwise that person wouldnt have been in your life in the first place, and I dont think there is any harm in missing someone for memories of the good times.

After a few years, it would be a fondness though rather than a longing. Remembering love rather than reliving it painfully I suppose.

And i dunno, but perhaps if you're the one who got dumped, you didnt make the decision really to leave the relationship in the first place...and well, maybe you have more to miss....?

Anyhow, boyfriend girlfriend, friend and friend, different people give you different things and different memories.

Concentrate on the game at hand so to speak,or you could be missing your'e current one in a few years.

I'd have to agree with what lots of posters said about the whole only remembering the good times bit. Its crap initially, but think of what a mess we would all be if we remembered the bad bits in detail. None of us would ever move on.

jonny68

Santa Claus wrote:

as dramaqueen said, we always romanticise the good times we had with ex's and forget about all the bad stuff.

Try to remember some particularly nasty times you had with you ex and that should do the trick.
Course the fact she's getting married could be causing this also, a case of "that could have been me getting married to her".

I still think of 1 of my ex's quite a bit. It's an unconcious thing, you see a dvd and think "oh i remember going to see that with X" but the main thing is not to linger over it.
The important thing is there's a difference between thinking of someone and missing them !

Initially i was like that shortly after breaking up with mine but now i couldn't give a fu*k TBH life goes on and i don't look back on any good times i had with her,if she does enter my head on occasions i just think about how she fuc*ed me around so many times and that sorts that out,onwards and upwards

tallus

I still think about an ex of mine from 20 years back, my first love. she ended it, so I think about the good and the bad of it. I dont dwell too much on it tho, but it did take me a long time to get over it.

Shabadu

When you say you couldn't 'commit to the relationship' is this basically a euphism for cheating? Maybe it's guilt that means you keep thinking about her. Was she pretty devestated when you broke up? Was it due to infidelity?

Sleepy

Personally, I think every ex I have that I was in love with still holds a little piece of my heart. Whether I ended it or they did, it's entirely possible to love someone but know that ye didn't work together, that the timing was wrong or that ye had different goals in life that just weren't compatible.

We do tend to only remember the good bits of relationships, and funnily, some of the happiest memories of a relationship can be ones that were either innocuous or downright irritating at the time. It's like school in a way, we all remember the day a dog ran into the classroom, or the day we won a football match but all the non-descript, boring, rainy afternoons sort of merge into the one memory. It doesn't change the fact that they were the majority of days in your school life but it can tend to colour your memory of them.

Gazza22

No i can't say i do, although i am kinda still friends with one or two of them, i prefere to be just friends

The short period after you break up is bad, you do miss your ex though you just move on afterwards

Gilgamesh

miss them? No/
allthough I do have to admit I think about one, but that is more the case at them moment that she is getting married this coming Saturday, and she is the mother of my Daughter. Guess it's understandable then though

Hmm_Messiah

miss them ? not exactly. some times miss the presence @ thingsthat are so familiart with them beside me; certain movies, certain christmas traditions.

Don't miss some of the crap

still "love" the ex? totally

still "in love" with the ex ? I don't understand those two words, I do know Oi have a core affection for them still tat seems to equal that which my family have with their partners .


aaw

Farls

If it was a long relationship (> 6 months) then i think they will always be missed. You'll always have that special bit of love for them that only they could get out of you. And the thoughts of the future that you probably had with them.

If its a short relationship (1 night) you might be thinking...i wish i had to of tried sticking with her or following that up, for fun purposes that might of gotten serious.

As in your case though I'd advise you to tackle the problem at hand and never mind pining for your ex because if you loose this one you'll probably miss her even more than your previous ex!

I can only see very bad relationships ending in the "not missing them" category. Thank god i've never had one of those.

kas

Nope, don't have a ex!
Liked a girl who didn't like me and that took far too much out of me, avoided relationships lasting more than a night for this very reason. Some of my old college mates are married! :eek:

Femelade

i missed my most recent ex until i got a msg from him that was for another girl!!! broke my friggin heart it did, ah well...another one bites the dust!

also a few months back, an ex from about 7 yrs ago told me he still had feelings for me, he's married to a girl i'm friendly with. that was strange.

then there is the ex from about 6 yrs ago, i call him "the one that got away".

440Hz

I don't think people should generalise and say 'why would anyone miss there ex'. Firstly, like someone else said maybe things did not end on bad terms, and then you are likely to miss them. Secondly, not every relationship has bad times, sometimes people just grow apart for no reason, and you will then only have good times to remember, making it very hard not to miss them.

Also, some people have a significant ex, one that stands out from all the rest, and sometimes thoughts of that person stay with you for years and years, eg first love etc. I think about my ex sometimes, I def miss him, I always will, just not in the same way as when we broke up first. I will always care a lot for him, but I know we have both changed so much since we were together etc etc.

I don't think of it as 'there is a reason he is my ex', when I don't want to dwell on him too much, I try to think that we are both very different now, and that the person Im remembering is very different now!

Tobias Greeshman

Do I miss my ex? No not really just when I watch certain films or hear certain songs I remember her and some of the good time. But Im well happy that were no longer together, should never of lasted the length that it did!

crazymike

I miss two ex-girlfriends of mine who I had intensive relationships with. I miss them both as people because they are the salt of the earth and I love them so much. I am not in love with them however and just couldn't imagine getting back together with them......

OLDYELLAR

na cant say ive ever missed an x. Probably missed them for a few days after we split but this is the 1st ''serious long term'' one for me anyway.

CathyMoran

Yes, I miss two of my ex's. One was my first love, but the reason why I miss him the most is that he was also a friend and the friendship has never been the same since even though we are still in contact. The other guy was someone that I really thought that I would marry - we are still good friends but I miss kissing him etc. It is true to say though that ex are ex for a reason and every time I get moapy about them I remember why we are not still together.

Macker

anyone miss there x

Yes twice but I was drunk so my aim was off

The_B_Man

I dont miss any at the moment. thats coz the only one that i would miss (the most recent one) is still in college with me and we hang around with each other every day. however shes going to england forever in december and i know for a fact that i will miss her very much then.

if you liked them in the first place, and the split was amicable, then of course you'll miss them, especially if the reason for the break up was something like you were too young to be tied down or it was the wrong time etc etc and had nothing to do with you falling out of love or whatever.

Also, as someone above already said, the jealousy thing will be there for a good while too.

dazberry

One ex (about 12 years ago) waves the what-if flag - it was a strange break-up 'cos we didn't - just went to different places/broke my heart thou'

Not technically ex
One didn't happen (about 6 years) ago that should have (slap me in the face with a kipper) and I'm kicking myself that I never followed.

There's also a few cringes in there - I won't revisit those

Le Rack

Sometimes I do, well one that I was with for a year, I miss the closeness we used to have, because it was a long distance realtionship, we really talked to eachother about everything. Thats something I look for in a guy now, to be rally able to talk to him... Don't miss the guy after him, and very sometimes I really badly miss the next one, but he was a real ass to me today so feck him! The one after him really cared for me like no other and I miss the knowledge that he truly cared for me and would do anything for me, and well the most recent, after that one, there's good times and there's bad, but we're really good friends again now so I think we're doing alright!

20 Times 20 Times

Sarge wrote:

sometimes , but then i think of all the bad times we had as well and this is the reason she is my ex the bad times will out weigh the good times that is why they are your ex !

well said

MojoMaker

crazymike wrote:

I miss two ex-girlfriends of mine who I had intensive relationships with. I miss them both as people because they are the salt of the earth and I love them so much. I am not in love with them * however and just couldn't imagine getting back together with them......

* Not strictly true... :rolleyes:

lazylad

No

Farls

MojoMaker wrote:

* Not strictly true... :rolleyes:

agree

_Turismo4

There’s one ex I think about sometimes that I loved, but she’s in my past and that’s that.
Know Regrets just move on to people new.

woodyg

i have to admit i do miss my ex.
it was a relationship that was goin oh so well.
but i fecked it up i rest my case.

i miss everything about her and do still get the heart flutters and pain when i see her.
we talk still alot and after every talk i think what the feck did i do.

ah well lives a b*tch
except it

idontknowmyname

I'd never miss an ex, no substantial loss to my life, as was said earlier an ex is an ex for a reason

tonyinuae

s4dd wrote:

gar, why must PI attempt to drag out all my pain!

i've seen other girls since my ex.. i guess i'm of the opinion that if you love someone.. REALLY love someone, then that never really goes away. may get much easier to deal with or push under the surface, but it never really disappears.

call me "overly romantic" if you will, but that's how it feels to me.

Yes, I'm with you there - if you love someone, you always love them, but maybe not exactly in the same way as you did when they were your partner. I'm in a relationship, and I still miss (think of, anyway) all my exes, but I don't miss the misery, if that makes sense. However, when I meet someone who really is the long-term Right One (still hoping) I think the others will tend to fade away even more than they already have. Contentment is a great thing.

AllMessedUp

tonyinuae wrote:

Yes, I'm with you there - if you love someone, you always love them, but maybe not exactly in the same way as you did when they were your partner. I'm in a relationship, and I still miss (think of, anyway) all my exes, but I don't miss the misery, if that makes sense. However, when I meet someone who really is the long-term Right One (still hoping) I think the others will tend to fade away even more than they already have. Contentment is a great thing.

Yes and no. I miss the way we were and yeah contentment is a great thing but people change, like my ex did. We were going out for 3.5 years, towards the last 6 months of the relationship if was gettiny content and into a comfort zone. but i was content and i loved her so much. Anyway she moved up to dublin to get a job, met new people, got bored of us and ended it,out of the blue. But anyway you shouldnt miss them because theyre your ex for a reason, but we wouldnt be human if we didnt. Just havta try hard to get over it, believe you me it took me a month or 2 to even come to terms with it, while she partied the nites away up in Dublin with her brand new mates. We dont even talk now, I think thats a shame but prob for the best. We got on great, it ended out of the blue, but an ex is an ex. No matter what way you look at it, nobody breaks up for nothing even if people get back together.

LegacyUser

AllMessedUp wrote:

theyre your ex for a reason, but we wouldnt be human if we didnt.

No matter what way you look at it, nobody breaks up for nothing even if people get back together.

Mate most of us have been there horrible place I might add. Great quote there. People should rejoice that they got a lucky escape/unless kids/house/marraige and money was involved :>

yeah!i do think about some of them!i seem to go out with loads of girls who im friends with and it annoys me that you cant be friends after a break up!