windiz 98

Monty - the one and only

MICROSOFT ANNOUNCEMENT

> It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Scottish version
> of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of
> Scotland.
> If you have one of the Scottish editions you may need some help
> understanding the commands. The Scottish edition may be recognised
> by looking at the loading screen. It reads Windiz 98 with a
> background picture of a Glenfiddich bottle superimposed on a
photograph
of
> some
> bagpipes. It is shipped with the Ben Nevis screen saver.
> Also note:
> The Recycle Bin is labelled 'Aal ya ****e'
> Dialup Networking is called 'Me mates'
> Control Panel is known as 'How te **** aboot wi the settins'
> The Hard Drive is referred to as 'Big disk'
> Floppies are known as 'Them litil plastic bastads'
> > > Other Features:
> OK = it's alreet
> cancel = **** that
> yes = aye
> no= nee ****in' chance
> find = gan gerit ya ****ing sel'
> goto = owa there
> help = ah cannit dee it
> stop = divvent move
> start = hadaway and ****e
> settings = settins
> programs = stuff that dis stuff
> > personal folder = me ****e
> Also note that Windiz 98 does not recognise capital letters or
punctuation
> marks.
> > Some programs that are exclusive to Windiz 98:
> tiperiter = a word processor
> cullarin book = a graphics package
> addin masheen = calculator
> tunes = CD player
> porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer
> pikchas = a graphics viewer
> dole money = accounting software
> tax records = usually an empty file
> > We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of
> the Scottish edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
> version.

No offence intended.

SantaHoe

Return it!!?
I want that version!

SantaHoe

But I think you can do most of that with a bit of registry hacking, and a bit of file hax0ring in MSDos-Editor.
Cool, I'm gonna' f u c k Win98 up soooo much!