Definitions & Logic

Pretor

"ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS"

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
& a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway
"See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.


lessons in logic :

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
..........................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
..........................

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
............................

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
...........................

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
...........................

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
..........................

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
..........................

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
...........................

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
..........................

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
...........................

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
...........................

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
...........................

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
..........................

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
..........................

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
...........................

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

BizzyC

meh...

Da Bounca

Liked the first half.

Ishmael

Pretor wrote:

........................

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

heh heh, i like that one.
Not bad overall tho.