Dumping someone by text.... your thoughts

eskimo

What are your thoughts on dumping someone by text? For argument's sake, you've been dating them for over 2 or 3 months...

Is it sleazy, cowardly, disrespectful, slimey, shameful and wrong?

Or is an acceptable method of dumping your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Please share your thoughts, stories and experiences!!

ARGINITE

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Plain and simple - wrong.
Unless theirs a good reason for it, I.E he/she was cheating.

angeldelight

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

eskimo wrote:

Is it sleazy, cowardly, disrespectful, slimey, shameful and wrong?

Yes

Or is an acceptable method of dumping your boyfriend/girlfriend?

No

Please share your thoughts

It's just incredibly disrespectful imo, yes it's difficult to break up with someone but at least do it face to face!

MrNuked

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

When I was 20, I dumped a girl I had been seeing for 5-6 months by texting her the word "FINITO".
It wasn't really out-of-the-blue though, because I had a avoided her for two weeks before sending it.
I met a Spanish girl then the next time I went out, and arranged to meet her again. When I did, my recent ex was in the same place with her friends, and they all assumed I'd met the new girl before dumping the old one, which was unfortunate.

There were a few reasons: What made up my mind was the time she was sick and I brought her a cd of her fave band I'd gotten a lend of form a guy at work.
She said she didn't want me to stay over because she was sick and wanted to get a lot of sleep. I said ok.
Then my room-mate rang and said a girl was coming back with him, so I told her I would be staying over actually. She said I couldn't. I said I'd just sleep on the couch then - I didn't want to cycle all the way back to my house just to sleep on the couch anyway. Think it was raining. She said No no! you can't sleep on the couch, because she didn't want her housemates to think something was up between us.

Not the most major incident, but it really drove home to me my status as a bit of fluff for the arm.

Maybe it was karma then that my fiancee dumped me over the phone on my bday 5 years later. (she was home in america at the time though)

Number6

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

I've been dumped by both text and IRC.

It's a cruel thing to do, even worse is breaking up in a public place (which also happened to me). FFS women, do it in a quiet secluded place at least

MrNuked

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

I was never nice in how I dumped people. My normal tactic was to be progressively more obnoxious until they said "Do you not want to go out with me anymore or something!?"
I was upfront about it the last time though. "A girl I like is coming to visit next week so I don't want you around." Something along those lines. (I had informed them I wanted to be free when the girl came over before we started). Only been dumped myself once, in a brutal manner, and I can safely say I'm a hell of a lot more considerate of people's feelings as a result.

Shrimp

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

number 2 tbh..

bounty_hunter

I've been dumped by text twice, and while it is an absolutely horrible feeling, I can honestly say that (at least in these two particular instances) I would have felt a hell of a lot worse if it had been done face to face. I have a tendency to allow my facial expressions to describe what I'm feeling, and I know I would have been mortified if I had to look someone in the eye after being dumped by them.

I'll not say whether I think it's "right" or "wrong", as I'm not a fan of mapping out situations in black and white (nothing is ever that simple), I just thought I'd share my own experience.

By the way, I reckon this thread would be better suited to After Hours.

embraer170

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Then the question becomes why have you been dating them.

bounty_hunter

Not really, there are plenty of situations where it wouldn't have become apparent that they weren't very nice until later on.

Setun

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Via text:
"We need to talk"

That's the worst, as you're basically waiting numerous minutes to get dumped.

Coney Island

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

I have been dumped by text once (the day before she was all "I love you" and all this crap)....the most awful feeling in my life. If she had done that face to face, I would have respected her much more.

But this is the way it is nowadays, text messages have been the best invention of the centuries for cowards.

Of course is she/he is cheating, text message if the way to go as it hurts more....

AllMessedUp

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Coney Island wrote:

I have been dumped by text once (the day before she was all "I love you" and all this crap)....the most awful feeling in my life. If she had done that face to face, I would have respected her much more.

But this is the way it is nowadays, text messages have been the best invention of the centuries for cowards.

Of course is she/he is cheating, text message if the way to go as it hurts more....

I'm Exactly the same 6 weeks ago. All i love you and dont want to leave you then I got a text saying "i think we should break up" the next day was with her for 3.5 years. She got a job in different town miles away and ended it. I dont want to get into the story but basically I treated her well for 3.5 years and visa versa until now. Now she's all cold and mean. Had an incident with her last nite. After a month of beggin for her back,tryin to be friends with her and telling her i hated her, i decided to stop all communication. But she came home and met her in local nite club. she was igorant, i told her she messed up my life and threw nearly 4 years away for nothing, then i pushed her and told her f^ck off. I shook her hand later on in the nite,after persuading her to let bygones be bygones. I then texted her that nite after a few drinks in me saying i was on the edge and this was a final goodbye...got no reply. I dunno if Id of done it,I doubt it very much. I thought about it and stopped myself. There is too many people out there who care about me, but not her now. to break it off by text, then come back and say to me "I love you but not IN love with you" is a bit false and strange. I dont seem to care anymore now, Ive no energy left and it just doesnt bother me. What a shame though!

Cowards way completely! even if they were the worst person on the planet. Which i was far from to her...far from it.

The_B_Man

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

I'm just thinkin, i actually got dumped by text i think. it was 6 years ago. but we were in a long distance relationship....well Tallaght <-> Leixlip is long if ur 16!! I dont remember bein too bothered that it was over txt, was more set back at the fact that she was dumping me!! actually, as i recall, i talked her into not dumpin me and comin into town on the sunday, where she dumped me on Abbey st!! women!! hehe.

ps textual dumpage is ok if they're a cúnt and deserve it. my fave txt wud be "Welcome to Dumpsville! Population....YOU!!"

Le Rack

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

All I can say to anyone who dumps someone by text "You bastard"

kawaii

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Cowardly tbh...

the_rook

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

eskimo wrote:

What are your thoughts on dumping someone by text? For argument's sake, you've been dating them for over 2 or 3 months...

cowardly

.

Flashling

My friend got dumped by text once, with the kind words "I'm funny, you're not, it wouldn't have worked". She wasn't that upset, for some reason...

Aisling(",)

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Anyone that would do that is disgusting Its is compleatly insensitive and cowardly and can affect people very badly.how can people ever see this as accetble at least call the poor person

tman

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

both of my exes from this year did it to me
i would've been fine with the second one breaking up with me if she'd had the cajones to say it to my face. i've now lost a lot of respect for women due to the way she did it (and why...)

Scarinae

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Only a knob would to be quite honest, even the dumpee is also a knob it is no excuse

Gazza22

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Nah this is wrong, have never done it myself, it's incredibly lazy and disrespectful

Some people have said that it's okay to use when your partner has cheated ect. but i still don't think so, whats wrong with a simple phonecall?

Numina

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

dumping someone by text is pretty cowardly and disrespectful, seriously, they could AT LEAST say it to your face.

Son_of_Belial

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Never been dumped by text, but I have been dumped with a phone call. Wasn't nice, but on the up side she couldn't see or hear me cry . (Waited til I'd hung up before I cracked)

Board@Work

Cowardly .. no excuses IMO..


Have the decency to do it face to face. even if the dumpee is a 'bad' person doesn't make it ok to be an a$$ hole too!!

ziggy

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

This post has been deleted.

_Turismo4

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

I think it’s cowardly to text as I would meet the person face to face and do it that way.
So far I see that 73% agree with me.

Nala

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

I dumped my last boyfriend by text.

I know it's not the kindest thing to do, but I had my reasons. He was an absolute cúnt, a complete fúckwit, and made it quite clear that he didn't care how much he upset me, or how I felt, the reason being that he is incredibly selfish and only cares about himself. He was given an ultimatum and just said "whatever".
So that was the end of that!
Strangely enough, we're no longer on speaking terms...

spiderlegs

Nala wrote:

I dumped my last boyfriend by text.

I know it's not the kindest thing to do, but I had my reasons. He was an absolute cúnt, a complete fúckwit, and made it quite clear that he didn't care how much he upset me, or how I felt, the reason being that he is incredibly selfish and only cares about himself. He was given an ultimatum and just said "whatever".
So that was the end of that!
Strangely enough, we're no longer on speaking terms...

Well that's a good reason, but IMO I think it's only fair to show the dumpee some respect and have some decency to do it to their face....as for the "****wit" he doesn't seem to have deserved any respect so that's ok....

Mossy Monk

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

cowardly. the text message will be the downfall of the written language as we know it

Nala

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

spiderlegs wrote:

Well that's a good reason, but IMO I think it's only fair to show the dumpee some respect and have some decency to do it to their face....as for the "****wit" he doesn't seem to have deserved any respect so that's ok....

He was extremely disrespectful, telling me to shut up and to fúck off whenever he felt like it-he deserved what he got. He's the type of person where, it doesn't matter how nice you are to him, or how much you do for him, it's never, ever enough, he will never be happy or ever appreciate any effort on your part, so in the end I figured it was about time I suited myself. When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose!

Misticles

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

i have done it twice and had it done to me. i didnt like when it was done to me because i felt nothing was wrong with the relationship but then he told me that he was being mean to me the past week to get the msg accross. i then knew the real reason. then didnt care cos i cheated on him anyways. then the 2nd time i done it was cos the fella turned into a bit of a stalker, even moved around the corner!! and i didnt want to do face to face cos i didnt want to see him!

Geiger

More slimey than a bucket of frogs legs.

claireoby

I dumped my boyfriend by text when i was 16, and that was because i could not have done it face to face--i was a coward. i do regret it though.

I've also been dumped by a guy via text, while i was at a party with all his friends, (he wasnt there). I tried not to look upset around his mates but impossible! And of course a gobby friend let them all know what he'd said in the message!!aaaaahhh!!

AdMMM

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

I used to dump people by txt, but then recently I was dumped by someone I really really liked and I just started crying and had to get out of the house. I then realised that it could have been like that for the people I dumped and I have made a resolution not to dump anyone like that again.

Azureus

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

its the easy way out-possibly for both people in some cases if you're not close enough to feel comfortable to let on being hurt in front of the person whos breaking up with you. still doesnt make it right though and personally id much rather talk to them in person whether i was breaking up with them or vice versa!

RVN10

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

thats bad form how someone could do that

Nala

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Well dumping someone in person does have it's advantages.
You can give them a good kick in the balls while you're at it, for one!

rainbow kirby

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

It's just horrible to break up with someone by text. It just proves that whoever does it is a complete coward.

StupidLikeAFox

I really don't see anything wrong with it.

I dunno, what difference does it make really? At the end of the day your gonna be minus a girlfriend/boyfriend no matter what way ya do it

eskimo

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

Has anyone seen the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie gets dumped by a post-it note and goes crazy at her ex's friends when they suggest it was an acceptable method of dumping her? It's such a fantastic scene to watch if you've been in this position!

Last year I was dumped by text message by a guy I had been seeing for four months. At the time I didn't think too much of that particular aspect of the whole thing. My friends couldn't believe it. They were appalled.

A few days ago I met a guy who it turns out knows that ex of mine and when I asked him what he thought of him he described him as gutless and shifty. And this was BEFORE I mentioned the fact that I had dated him and that he dumped me by text!

...Speaks volumes really!

I think it's very cowardly. If I had to dump someone, I would be brave and give them the respect they deserve as a human and tell them while I'm in their company. Disrespect and cowardice is just not cool.

kodute

By text after two and a half years. So so so very cowardly and stupid, my only explanation is that i was young. oh and stupid, did i mention that...

Raphael

If the dumpee isn't a nice person, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's wrong!

It's cowardly, it's wrong, and it's disgusting.

And I hate myself for having done it... =/