wondering

LegacyUser

this may be a long one so apologies in advance but i need to get this off my chest. ill keep it as short as possible.
have been away in north america all summer, since start of june. met a girl at the start of summer, and we've been together til about a week ago. ive left now to go travelling before heading home. basically she ended it with me about 3/4 days before i left, saying she thought she was about to fall in love with me, but she didnt wanna get hurt, so she felt she had to end it then. she felt that there was no way a long distance relationship could work. basically she is like no other girl i've met in my life, she has absolutely everything i would ever want in a girl. i was really upset, i suppose mostly cos i know that we both really like each other, but i have to go home to do my final year in college, and there is a possiblilty that i wont see her again.
dont really know what my querie is. maybe has anyone been in a long distance relationship that has worked, or has anyone been in a situation like mine that can offer some advice on the matter. or should i ring her and declare my undying love 4 her? (joke?)
i know some people are gonna say 'dont be rediculois, you've only known her a few months'. this is true, but im quite mature and have met many girls, lots of them for more than a few weeks/months, and i know what i like in a girl, and no girl has come close to this girl.
thanks, i suppose this was more a get it off your chest than anything else, but your oppinion would be apreciated greatly.

newgrange

Realistically, it's not going to work if you are on different continents.
One of you would have to move eventually, and that alone puts pressure on a relationship. It's a pity you can't keep in touch with her and tell each other how you are getting on with your lives, as often these things can end up with one party putting their life on hold and dreaming of what could have been while the other gets on with it.

I would say take all the great things she gave you that have made you a better person and find someone closer to home - and you will, even if it seems like you won't.

Jim10000

It sounds like you want to keep this girl in your life and even though it'd very tough, I think it'd possible.

Would you be able to spend some time back in the U.S. after your final year in college? is that something you'd be interested in doing regardless of the possible relationship?

This might not be something you'd be interested in trying to do, but you could spend the year (9 months?) apart, stay in touch, meet up again next summer when you're a free man and see what happens?

I know it's a very cold and rational solution to a very emotional problem, and if you were to meet up again after so long it would be a bit like starting over and might not even work, but then again how many times in your life do you meet someone like this?

Anything's possible...

Good luck!

flamin moe

went through something similar a few years back on my j1 summer. went our seperate ways at the end of the summer, and we agreed that we were single etc. - but realistically neither of us were looking for anybody else, as we agreed to meet again.

met up over a year later when she came to europe on holiday for a month or so - i met her in england for a week. we had fun, but realised it wasn't the same and we both got our closure. we both stayed in contact for a while but that eventually fizzled out.

that scenario worked out well for me, either way i if were the op, i would certainly keep in contact. if you end all contact now, you'll always be wondering what might have been etc.

Araleth

I'm actually in a similar situation and it seems to be working out really well for me. I met a girl from America a couple of years ago and since then we have been best friends and have founded a relationship, however, I'm in college over here and can't move over there or visa-versa untill we finish our degrees. I'm going over to stay with her soon for a couple of weeks and really..I couldn't be happier. We treasure the time we get together and it just makes everything that much more special. A long distance relationship *can* work, it's all down to how much you both are really willing to comit to it. I'll admit it can be hard at times, very hard, especially when you're out for a night with mates and there's a whole load of pressure on you from your mates to talk to other girls (to put it lightly ;p) and of course there'll always be temptations to stray...but once again, it's really up to *you*. If you really want it, and she really wants it, it can happen. Me and the girl I'm with talk almost every day over MSN, we call each other usually once a week, etc...and I'm happy with where I am at the moment.

I have kept the relationship kind of secret, because I know a lot of my mates would think it's stupid, or weird, or bound to failure and I just don't need to surround myself with their negativity, and at the end of the day I don't need to prove myself to them. I know what I want and she's the girl I want...she feels the same back. I plan to move over to America once I finish my degree and live close to her for awhile, then when she's finished hers we're gonna move in together, or go travelling together or whatever.

If you want it to happen, talk to the girl and see what she thinks too, if you really want it to happen, it can. It's happening for me right now.

Hope this helps.