breaking away from old friends?

LegacyUser

i really think its time to break away from my old friends and aquaintances, i used to be into the same things they were but im nearly 22 now and feel that ive moved on and want to do other, more productive things with my spare time. as far as im concerned its a real pity that most of my friends dont feel the same way and still just wanna do the same old crap that we've been doing since we were 16 every weekend...but anyway thats life and my problem is that i want to break away from the crowd and find some more like-minded people, but i want to do it in such a way that wont insult my old friends and wont look like i dont respect them etc. and id still of course like to be friends with them but at such a distance that i wont be participating in the same old crap all the time....anyway i dunno if this is possible, maybe i will have to just insult a few people to live my life the way i want to, any suggestions?

Beruthiel

if they ask you out, why not just tell them you've made other plans, do that for long enough and they will get the message.

Tar.Aldarion

maybe ask them to do what you want to do?
i would find it hard to loose old friends...apart from one or two..

NotInventedHere

you will have plenty of time to grow up in your thirties, live a little life is long enough. What new thing do you want to do in your spare time by the way?

nobodythere

Don't totally ditch them, make it a gradual thing. Find new friends through something else that you do (societies or clubs or whatever) and you can start splitting time between them. Don't cut them off completely and explain that you don't enjoy going out any more.

arbeitsscheuer

I'm in a similar position with my "main" group of friends - that is to say, the group of mates I've known the longest. Met em in secondary school, bout 4 years ago, and we still hang out. And sometimes we have a laugh.

Nothing's changed, in terms of what we do and say to eachother - but we, as people, are totally different now. They've been great friends (some of them) but maybe it's time to "break away" as the OP said.

Boohoo, beruthiel's advice is spot on - just tell em you can't meet up with them next time they wanna go for a drink or whatever. And eventually, they'll get the message. You can't go through your life without hurting other ppl - you just end up hurting yourself.

Anyway, as for me, I have a bigger problem. Some of the mates in my group are the same as me, and are still good mates, and I don't wanna lose touch with them. It's a f**king tightrope - 3 or 4 really good mates, and a whole bunch of, well, f**ktards if truth be told. If I want to keep seeing the 3 or 4, I have to put up wit the rest, and if I wanna lose the f**ktards then I lose the 3 or 4. Pain in the ass.

They are not your "real" friends unless you look foward to seeing them.
Thats the yardstick I use and by what you say,it doesnt cover the people you are on about.
I hope you are fairly sociable and good at making friends (with people into what ever you are into) otherwise,you are heading into tumbleweed street as regards mates.
Best of luck anyway.