Feeling a little low...

sunflower5

Hi I'm new to this site - just hoping to get a little advice or some encouraging words.

I am a mum of one and he's a great little guy but sometimes I find it all a bit tough. I find I'm alway nit picking at him and it really upset me tonight as I was getting him ready for bed that he said 'mammy why do you always give out to me even when I'm not naughty' I find i'm so easily irritated and I'm so afraid I'm eroding his confidence by always checking him and correcting him.

Any tips on what I could do to be a little more tolerant. I feel at my wits end!

chillywilly

sorry to sound cheeky with this answer, i dont mean to be, but be more tolorant! I mean i know you have difficulty with him but try not to be so uptight(would that be an appropriate word?)

if you still find yourself doing this, then explain to him you are the problem and not him...he will then be reassured that is is you that is being naughty...not you(joking)!!

scribs

Hey sunflower,
Try counting to ten before you give out to him.
And if your still annoyde with him when you get to ten.
Well then I guess the little tike deserves a yellin

Now go give him a cuddle - ah feel the luv :rolleyes:

Debracd

Hi Sunflower, I went to see a child psychologist with my DS because I felt I always had to give out to him, and it just couldn't be right that this little man I loved so much had me feeling like throttling him 23 hours a day!

So, she got me to write a journal for 2 weeks.. everything he did from morning til night. It had to include everything from Eating, going to the loo, the fights, everything!!!

So I did it.. I kept the journal.. at the end of the 2 weeks she told me to read back over it, then asked me just how much of what he did seemed 'bold' or unreasonable for a 3yr old, ehhhh lesson learned.. it seemed like nothing in hind sight!

So from then on.. I kept a mental journal.. I walked away from the little things he did and came back with some perspective(2mins later, no major time elapsed). If it required punishment, he got it.. if he needed help to pick up his blocks.. he got that too!

Hope this helps.. they are hard work.. but they only get to be kids once.. both you and him need to enjoy this time!

Deb

Nevyn

with my DS

what is a DS ?

---

sunflower5 it is reall hard, esp if are parenting alone or if you are the parent
who constantly has to be the disciplinarian all of the time.
I have that a lot with my two I am the one who gives out and chastises them
and makes sure they brush thier teeth ect and Daddy is just the fun. :rolleyes:

You need to take time out for yourself.

It is very easy to get bogged down and caught up in making sure
and constantly correcting your little one.

Plan a bath, or a movie and popcorn a glass of wine for when he is asleep.
If you are wound up and stressed he will know and as much as you do not
ever want to take it out on your little one it can make you snappy with him.
No matter who long the day or it's challenges knowing you will have
a time out for yourself at the end of it when he is asleep helps you cope.

Do you praise him as much when he does good things, or quiet things
or playful things ?

When was the last time you tickles him or rolled arround on the floor
playing with him and laughing ?

When was the last time you let him make a fun mess ?
a grass fight out the back the pair of you ?
made and cooked cookies or cupcakes in the kitchen ? ( cheat buy a premixed box) and ate some before dinner
Bought a box of coloured chalks and let him draw and scribble on the drive
or the walls out the back garden ?

Yes our children are a lot of work but they are ment to be a lot of joy too.

If you are stuggling do ask for help.
Being a mammy is hard, esp when they are very young.
maybe look at doing a parenting classes you learn a lot of good skills
and talk to other parents about thier brats

IF there are other issues that are causing the stress that is not related
to your child but that is where is coming out then maybe look at
tackling them or going to talk to some one about them.

Debracd

Sorry thead DS is dear son.. a carry over from magicmum:)

sunflower5

Thanks for all the encouraging replies - there are some great tips that I will be using - it so great to know I'm not alone in this problem - I was feeling like the worse mother in the world when I wrote that!

galwaydude

you certainly are not alone, boards is great for finding out useful info and getting advice.

Im sure your a great mom, dont be so hard on yourself.Take the advice from the previous posters who have experience of the same situation,

Make sure you get time for yourself also make use of your family and ask them to babysit sometimes to give you some relief.