Stage Fright

LegacyUser

Whenever I go out and need to use the toilet if I am forced to use a urinal and there is someone else there I get the stage fright. I nearly always try and use a cubicle however, sometimes they are full and some places don’t have them. So I am left with a dilemma pretend to only want to wash my hands or try and use the urinal and pretend to be going.

It can be very embarrassing because I get paranoid that the person standing beside me knows that I am not going which make it worse.

Third_Echelon

What is your hang up? Is it peeing in public?

In your opinion do you have a small penis? Is that what you are worried about?

Celticfire

What you describe sounds very much like paruresis -- the inability to urinate when others are standing nearby.

Other names for this condition are "psychogenic urinary retention" and "bashful bladder." The presence of strangers often leads to feelings of anxiety and shyness about the body. These in turn activate the body's fight-or-flight response, preventing urination.

Paruresis is considered a form of social phobic disorder, like fear of public speaking or going out on dates. Several kinds of treatment are available, though none have been extensively researched.

Cognitive-behavioral psychologists may help the phobic patient change the way he thinks about urinating -- for example, by showing that the problem is not catastrophic or ridiculous.

Therapy may also help desensitize the patient to the act of urinating around others. According to a study in the March 1991 issue of the Journal of Behavior Therapy & Experimental Psychiatry, desensitization may be done by helping the patient imagine the feared situation -- in this case, urinating in public -- or by gradually introducing him to actual situations more and more like the one he fears.

BrianD3

I have the same problem but my attitude to it is that it's no big deal. And it's rare that all cubicles are taken in a men's toilet because a) most guys are in the jax to take a leak b) most guys are not shy about using urinals.

Even if all cubicles are taken, there's no shame in waiting around/queuing to use one. You'd have to do that anyway if you needed to take a crap.

AFAIK it is a legal requirement for establishments to provide cubicles in the men's toilet so if you find one with just urinals something's not right.

In your opinion do you have a small penis? Is that what you are worried about?

Maybe he's got a huge one and doesn't want idiots staring at it

Turner

Does the Bailey off Grafton St. in dublin have cubicles ??

For some reason i remember there wasnt any... maybe i was just too wasted to see them ?

LundiMardi

i'm kinda the same, but not to that extent, i always use a cubicle, if they're full then i wait:)

Xcom2

I have the same problem.I cannot go when someone is beside me or talking to me.But when I have a few beers I can piss no problem.

BizzyC

I'm the same.
I can go to the gym, and then have a shower in front of other guys, so it's not a shyness thing in my case.
I just cant piss in front of someone, not a big deal imo, I just go into the cubical.

LegacyUser

Dude, there's more like you than you'd think. For the prat who said something about the small dick: I'm about 7 inches, so its not that for me. When I went to the doc about it, he said it was "lack of confidence", but a few people I know who have lots of confidence have the same problem. And the really big problem is, in most nightclubs, they have a black dude there in the jacks. So, no matter what, you gotta use the cubicle.

Celticfire: thanks for that bit about the Paruresis. Got more info from the wikipedia about it. Thought it was "just me", untill you gave that word.

Third_Echelon

paranoidco wrote:

... For the prat who said something about the small dick: I'm about 7 inches, so its not that for me...

So that makes me a prat? I was asking him a question. Perhaps it is a hangup for him... So learn to read before you post. Engage brain and then type.

and wow... you have a huge penis... thanks for clearing that up :rolleyes:

bug

I remember hangin around with a bunch of lads who used to openly discuss "the fear" as they nicknamed it.
They go to the jax and come back laughing, announcing to the group "ah f**k it, I got the fear" I'll have to try later.
Im not sure how true it is but apparently, one of them looked it up and it goes back to prehistoric times when people were afraid to urinate/excrete as it took them away from the group, where they were vulnerable to prey. Since you were wary of what was around you when you were concentrating on passing urine or excreting.
Perhaps your just very aware of people around you?
I know that the use of drugs or alcohol heightened this "fear" for these blokes. Perhaps, (and Im not a psycologist but spoke about this with them, since I found it interesting) its because in a pub or club you dont have your full wits about you by way of having a few drinks... and maybe your wary of whats around you subconsciously. Just a thought.

TerrorFirmer

Xcom2 wrote:

I have the same problem.I cannot go when someone is beside me or talking to me.But when I have a few beers I can piss no problem.

Exactly. I wouldnt worry too much about it really. No big deal, no ones going to care anyway, I certainly don't give a toss if I have to wait for a cubicle.

Farls

I never had this problem until a friend told me about it, then of course i got self conscious and it happened me one night...i had it then for about 2 years i'd say and its disappeared again now!

I just use the whole think of running water and it seems to work. I wouldn't worry to much about it tho, the amount of guys that suffer from it is unreal and no one really seems to mind too much. Its just a confidence thing i think, you feel you have to perform sort of and start to think about it and bang no luck! It will pass though

Farlz

[RoF]Gunner

Yeah, I have this. Never heard the name "paruresis" before tho, so at least now I know what I suffer from!
I don't care really, I always go into the cubicle tbh.

BaZmO*

Yeah it's well common. Used to get it when I was younger. Don't really get it so much, once in a blue moon.

B.