watermelon

dan_y

you'll remember me
as a taste in your mouth
pushed around and licked out
the part that never went south

you'll wish for cruelty
and ignorant credulity
which you'll get and ignore
and then beg for some more

but chances don't come easy
now you've emptied your insides
transported with your fragrance
to your kingdom of outside
and decadent like fireworks
you bleed youself and see
that the one you always fought for
was the you you had with me

but you don't have to fail
don't have to crash down and derail
you don't have to slice
neat ribbon scars to prove you hurt

you just have to try
and try again and then prove why
lions don't need nice
pathetic boys to use, you slut

jcoote

thats really good ha ha...where the hell that come from

Le Rack

great till the last two lines but I only say that cuz I don't really get them I love the third stanza the imagery and onomatopeia (sp) of the whole verse, well done.

name_less

if you read the whole last stanza as a sentence i think it makes sense. i think by lions he means man eating women.

Le Rack

still don't get it... does lions signify a female maybe?

randomhuman

Good stuff. I like the way "you slut" just comes out of nowhere But of course the rest of it is well written too.

name_less

Le Rack wrote:

still don't get it... does lions signify a female maybe?

that's what i meant by man eating women silly

Le Rack

oh okay but how?
I was thinking "why
lions don't need nice
pathetic boys to use, you slut" meant, like that... ah jaysus I can't even remember what I was thinking, it was kinda complex but made sense but now I forget...