Stains RAW Review (Spoilers)

Stain Boy

It does not seem that anyone is regularly doing RAW reviews so I thought I may as well take that spot. I will do an entry every week. The thread will always be spoiler heavy so consider yourself warned.

So let's started:

Monday Night Raw Aug 15, 2005.

What they say(wwe.com):

RAW emanated from the Bell Centre in Montreal, Canada – a place where Shawn Michaels has a lot of history. At Survivor Series 1997, Shawn Michaels defeated, or as everyone later learned, screwed, Canada’s own Bret “Hit Man” Hart out of the WWE Championship in one of the most infamous moments in WWE history. HBK came to the ring at the beginning of RAW and reminded the rabid fans of his heinous actions just in case they had forgotten. Michaels said that he screwed Bret before, he’d do it again, and he’s going to do the same thing to Hulk Hogan at SummerSlam. Not only did HBK talk the talk, but later on in the show, he walked the walk.

In the much-anticipated main event of the evening, Hulk Hogan faced off against Kurt Angle. It looked as though Hogan was on his way to victory. After Angle connected with an Angle Slam, the Hulkster miraculously kicked out and went on the offensive, nailing the Olympic Champion with the big boot. Hogan signaled to the crowd that the famous Leg Drop would be next, as he ran to the ropes. As Hogan gained steam and headed for his target, Shawn Michaels flew in from out of nowhere and took out the Hulkster. HBK then started warming up the band, as Sweet Chin Music appeared imminent. Then, right before the Showstopper could connect, he stopped short and applied the Sharpshooter as the Bell Centre erupted in a deafening round of boos. HBK did just what he said he would do by screwing Hulk Hogan. HBK struck again in Montreal. Will he be able to do it again in six days at SummerSlam?

RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff had some devious plans of his own in Montreal. Bischoff had already made a handicap match pitting Chris Jericho & Carlito against WWE Champion John Cena in an effort to soften up the champ for SummerSlam. Bischoff decided to try and turn Cena’s Chain Gang against him by carrying the Canadian flag to the ring, but Cena’s fans didn’t let him down. Jericho and Carlito utilized their numbers advantage throughout the entire match, making crisp tags and keeping Cena from sustaining any significant offense.

Carlito added insult to injury by spitting pieces of apple into the champ’s face, as Bischoff followed it up with a swift slap to the face. After a couple of near falls, Jericho went for the Walls of Jericho, but Cena used his leg-strength and kicked Jericho into the ropes. Jericho, in turn, inadvertently knocked Carlito off the apron. Cena went for the F-U on Jericho, but Carlito made the save. The champ, however, was able to catch Carlito with the maneuver for the 1-2-3. But Chris Jericho got the last laugh when he leveled Cena with a sickening blow to the head with a chair. Jericho taunted his SummerSlam opponent as Cena just stared up at the lights with a far away look in his eyes. Will Jericho be able to stand tall over Cena once again in six days?

While SummerSlam is just around the corner, the 2005 RAW Diva Search Contest was coming to an end. The eight finalists were already narrowed down to Elisabeth, Leyla and Ashley, but only one lucky winner would be walking away from Montreal with $250,000 and a WWE contract. Early on in the evening, Jonathan Coachman announced that Elisabeth had been eliminated, and then later on, the two finalists met in the ring. After re-living some highlights of this year’s competition, Coach left both Diva hopefuls in suspense as he announced the winner would be revealed on the Titan Tron. Weeks of waiting was finally over as Ashley’s picture appeared on the screen, sending RAW’s newest Diva into exultation. Ashley fell to her knees in excitement and when presented with her check, thanked the fans and exclaimed, “I’m going to SummerSlam!”
Eugene will also be going to SummerSlam as he will face Kurt Angle. Eugene faced Rene Dupree in the third ever Eugene Invitational. But just seconds in, Angle stormed the ring and took out both Dupree and Eugene. Angle left Eugene laying in the ring and told him that at SummerSlam he’ll show him why he’s the most vicious S.O.B. in WWE.

The Heart Throbs were also in action, but they were no match for the monstrous Big Show. RAW’s resident giant defeated the tag team with a double chokeslam, pinning both Antonio and Romeo. Edge tuned up for his match against Matt Hardy with a win over Val Venis and Rob Conway defeated The Hurricane.


And much more importantly what I say:

RAW this week featured a whopping six matches. Presumably to remind us that the second 'W' stands for 'wrestling'.

The Heart throbbs went down cleanly in a fair comedy match vs. the lone giant, Big Show. This highlighted WWE's current weakness in promoting tag team wrestling, and that Big Show may well be heading down one of those familiar "We have a 7ft 500lb potential monster but we're too lazy and braindead to do anything with him" roads. But hey, you could have an actual tag team division and a rampaging monster but whats the point when you can stick 'em on lower card slapstick comedy matches?

Rob Conway defeated Tag Champ Hurricane in a snorfest. Yeah that's right, despite the lack of a division there are still tag belts on Monday night wrestling. Conways current gimmick has been run through the mill several times over, and he is not the best guy to fail in the attempt of getting it over.

Which coincidently brings us to Val Venis' loss to Edge, accompanied as always by his whore Lita. The match itself was passable nothing special, not that you'd expect it. Something you would of course have expected was some interference by the sensei of Mattitude. Alas, despite huge chants from the hot Montreal crowd Matt Hardy did not rear his head.

The second handi-cap match of the night saw the second time one man beat two as WWE champ John Cena went over Intercontinental Champion Carlito CC and no.1 contender Chris Jericho. The match would have been fun if it wasn't more of the same stuff from Cena. Don't get me wrong I am a fan of The Docta of Thuganomics, but he seriously needs to add alittle variation to his in-ring work.

In this weeks Eugine Invitational Eugine defended 'his' Olympic Gold medals
against the French Phenom Rene Dupree. Dupree receaved a huge welcome from his hometown crowd. They didn't have long to stay excited however as Kurt Angle invaded the ring disposing of both men and utterly destroying and pounding the crap out of the 'special' athlete Eugine.

In another sh!tefest, the main event, Hogan beat Angle by DQ(the second non-finish of the evening) after Shawn Micheals ran interference. Hogan sh!t sh!tty sh!t sh!t sh!t. You get the idea.

In the only other semi-significant news Ashley won the diva search in the most predictable contest since 'Eric the Eel' raced alone in the olympics.

In other words Raw was sh!t...again.

TimmyTurner

I actually enjoyed raw this week - mind you I made sure I got pissed drunk first (although Cena still sucked)

I hoping for a certain wrestler to get a hurra-push

hehe

Mr.Nice Guy

Stain Boy wrote:

In other words Raw was sh!t...again.

I disagree.

The Montreal crowd were brilliant all night.

HBK's promo was brilliant and the fans hated his guts. Hearing Bret's music play was excellent even though nothing came of it and Michaels got more heat from it.

Angle and Hogan had a decent encounter.

The Diva Search is over at last.

And I quite enjoyed the Big Show tearing apart the Heart Throbs.

Overall a great show. It's just a shame Vinny Mac didn't turn up as he would have got great heat as well. He could have promoted Bret's DVD as well as Summerslam...

TimmyTurner

I have to say the crowd were amazing

but I still think most of the matches were poor - but raw has been improvcing sightly

what we need is a good back-and-forth match - one that you can't guess the winner to.

Stain Boy

I certainly wouldn't deny the crowds enthusiasm, but if I were one of them, I would feel sorely dissappointed upon leaving the arena.

gimmick

I thought it was a very good show overall, though i fast forwarded the diva segments.

I really enjoyed the heat HBK got. I really hope he is kept heel after Summerslam, and the best way of doing so, is have him beat Hogan, which alas, he wont do.

Stacey looks really hot lately.

Conway is in for a mega push. he has the 'look', he has the charisma, and he has the skills. I expect him to win the IC belt around Wrestlemania.

Im also enjoying heel Jericho. He certainly is looking good and entertaining again.

Coney Island

RAW without Evolution doesn't tell me much....I can't wait to have Triple H back....

Stain Boy

What I say:

Due to some technical difficulties the entire first section of RAW was presented in utter silence by Sky until after the first ad break.
Of course WWE being WWE we saw most of it again in replays so it was no big hassle.

Raw opened up with a good match, Kurt Angle vs. Eugine. After Angle won with the ankle lock he would not relinquesh the hold threatening to break the ankle of his 'special' opponent. This was soon broken up by WWE champ John Cena. He and Angle went at it blow for blow. Just as the champ was getting the upper hand, of all people, in came problem solver Tyson Tomko who very nearly decapated the masta of Thuganomics while the Olympic Hero made good on his escape.

Carlitos Cabana this featured the latest diva search winner Ashley(only remembered the name because Carlito introduced her as 'Assley'). Carlito was pretty funny degrading the Diva pointing out her dodgy Avril Lavegne duds. The segment was entertaining enough until Ric Flair(who Carlito admitted to have bludgened last week) made his entrance. He duely applied a testicular claw on Trilpe C. This of course is all in aid of building up the pairs impending crap match on PPV in a couple of weeks time, which Flair will no doubt win in time for HHH's return(where of course it will be revieled that it was The Game, and not Carlito, who attacked the now-face Nature Boy, which will in turn lead to a god awful feud of gastronomic proportions).

The heart throbbs were beaten by the duo of Val Venis and Viscera in a poor comedy match. Interesting note on this match: all four participents have the exact same "I'm gods gift to women" gimmick that unbelievably would be repeated not once but twice more later in the evening.

Matt Hardy and Edge were both in da house but were too banged up from last weeks scorcher to wrestle. Matt signed a contract for a steel cage match against Edge at the PPV. The evil face hating RAW GM Eric Bishoff forced the Sensai of Mattitude into a match against baby killer Gene Snitsky. Matt who limped out to the ring was beaten by Snitsky in a decent affair ended when Matt got distracted by Edge and Lita who were on commentary.

Rob Conway(no.5"gods gift to women" gimmick) had a on-par(believe it or not pun was unintended) match with Shelton Benjamin. The match was spoiled by Kerwin White who tripped up Benjamin with a 3 iron to assist The Con Man in a tainted victory.

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch def. World Tag Team Champions Rosey & The Hurricane in their debuting RAW match. This match was pretty awful or rather Murdoch was awful. This guy looks about as plain taken of the street outa shape as they come, and works just like WWE did just that. This match highlighted at least some intent on WWE's part to revitalise the virtually non-existent Raw tag team division. However giving the belt to these 80's gimmick cowboys is not the way to go.

Torrie Wilson def. Ashley in a crap match which the fans booed for as Ashley attempted and failed miserably to do a single move. Granted shes barely here a week so it would be harsh to judge her in-ring skills so soon. But, and this is a BIG but, why on earth was she allowed to be in a match and trying moves like sunset flips so early on. An untained wrestler is a danger to both themselves and their opponents.

John Cena bested Tyson Tmko in a forgetable match. So much so in fact that I forget it already.

Which brings us to the main event of the eveing(and incidently our 6th ladies man gimmick{and 7th if you are a harsh judge}) the dredded Masterlock challenge for HBK. This was excrutiatingly bad. Five ****ing minutes! One move, FIVE ****ING MINUTES! of tumbling around, totally uninspired, didn't care what happened, until Masters threw Micheals to the floor smashed him with a chair and locked the move on again bell rang and Micheals didn't survive the masterlock challenge.


Overall. This weeks edition of RAW illuminated WWE's wretched use of repetitiveness. Not just week to week, oh no. Minute to minute we saw the same thing again and again. At least six guys, arguably eight, with the same worn out 1 dimensional gimmick. Three virtually identical promos for the eveings main event. Even the hurricane support fund video was repeated, no harm doing the charitibal thing, but reapeating the same video footage an hour after we've already seen it?

The ultimate question of course as always is. Were you entertained by the show overall? This weeks edition gets a thunbs down from me.

D-FENS

I thought Snitsky's finisher was fairly class...

Stain Boy

I shan't be reviewing this weeks RAW. I got as far as half way through an abysmal Flair vs. Masters match, felt utterly disallusioned with my favourite pastime, tuned out, and felt depressed for what has become of RAW.

I'll be back to review more whenever I see a turn in the tide. In the meantime someone else feel free to take over the thread.