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My First Comedy Story... Warning: Much comic and realistic Violence and swearing...

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  • 14-08-2005 9:57pm
    #1
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭


    My first real funny story. Please give your opinions. I have many more tales of Raven Scorchballs, will post up if this one is popular enough! Thanks.

    Had to give link to my story, as it will not all fit on this thread. Sorry about that in advance. One click and you'll begin the story though. Enjoy...

    The Story: Adventures of Raven Scorchballs Nam 67


Comments

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    #2
    Gross Halfwit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 451 ✭✭Gross Halfwit


    Sorry. That wasnt funny...at all.


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    #3
    Dave3x
    Registered Users Posts: 130 ✭✭Dave3x


    Right, well.... no, it wasn't funny. You've got good writing skills, but you're attempting a style you're obviously not great at. What's your basis? In parts i got the feeling you were reaching for a Terry Pratchett-like vibe. But interrupting dialogue with a shouting officer isn't funny. it's clichéd, Which is a pity, because your descriptive writing was very good.


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    #4
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    :(

    Guess you'd really have to know the guy it's based on.... :p


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