Monogamy is yukky.Discuss

Social77

Alright lads any crack.Anyway was just wondering what the general consensus is regarding monogamy.It seems to me that we are gradually reverting back to our former selves and that monogamy isn't as strong today as has previously been.I don't think todays society laced with greed and easy lays is conducive to staying with boring betty forever and ever amen.Ditch boring betty and get youself an easy eileen i say.
Social 77 can tell you that throughout human history 80 per cent of human cultures have practiced some form of polygamy, and that monogamy is actually the exception and not the rule when it comes to natural human behavior. The sky rocketing divorce rate and the difficulty and stress most people encounter in monogamous marriage are also indicators that monogamy is not the natural human way of relating. It would be hard to find any great hero in the Bible who actually practiced monogamy, since group sex with multiple partners is the norm in the majority of human societies throughout history, and this is certainly true of the societies that are represented in the Bible. This is important to note since conservative religious clerics like to assert that somehow this imposed monogamy represents the most basic human value and is somehow historically the norm for human beings and thus forms what they like to call ‘the fundamental basis for human civilization'
To sum up sleeping with boring betty for the next 50 years will seriously damage your health.For both your sakes,spread the love.

shellby

don't be an idiot it's personal choice if you find somebody you want to ebe faithful to then what's the problem
if you want to sleep aroun then be safe and don't be in a relationship while doing it unless of course its ok with the partner
if you want to tell me i should be sleeping around when i love my bf very much because its better for me then cop on

petes

I got bored after the first sentence.

Boggle

The sky rocketing divorce rate ..... are also indicators that monogamy is not the natural human way of relating

At the risk of a serious answer to an obvious troll - I'd imagine the fact that ??most??(assumption) marriages do work out would indicate that most people would be happy in a monogamous (i've gotta have spelt that wrong!! ) relationship.

Social77

petes wrote:

I got bored after the first sentence.

To be honest with an attitude like that you deserve celibacy as an option.Why are you so lazy that you cant read a post with more than 3 words.You belong in the unhappy birthday thread dundalk man. :rolleyes:

WizZard

Atari Jaguar

Social77

Boggle wrote:

At the risk of a serious answer to an obvious troll - I'd imagine the fact that ??most??(assumption) marriages do work out would indicate that most people would be happy in a monogamous (i've gotta have spelt that wrong!! ) relationship.

Actually believe it or believe it not this is not a pisstake(hate that troll word more than i hate the word marriage).
To answer your point it is well documented that the number of marriages since the 80's in Irel;and has decreased while divorce statistics are rising each year.

Darkwing Duck

Social does have apoint in saying that a lot of human civilisation has practised polygamy, but that doesn't neccessarily make it right or wrong. Its all down to personal choice. I'm with my girlfriend three years now and perfectly happy to stay that way, whereas Social seems to want to use this post as a lure for any other polygamous people out there

It seems like you may have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about monogamy. There's no real right or wrong about it, its down to the two people in question, (or in Socials case the 10 or 15 people in question ) and how they feel about each other. If there's love and commitment there then it becomes a hell of a lot more than just sex and thats where monogamy inserts itself, not by force, but by a natural choice by two people

Social77

WizZard wrote:

Atari Jaguar

Another pet hate.If i couldnt care less about a subject my instinctive response is to saty away from the thread,not to open the thread,click the reply to post button and type in two words which mean absolutely nothing.

SparkyLarks

Ignoring the obvious trolliness ( trollinicity??)of the post
Monagamy has two interpretations really. traditionally it has meant being with sone partner for life, however life is so much longer now this doesn;t always happen.
the idea of being with someone exclusively, you might not be with them for ever but you will not sleep with any one else. That is a very good thing for society. However people today are more inclined to form exclusive relationships than they were during the 60's 70's and 80's. People are less inclined to have sex with strangers, probably due to the increasing cases of STI's

With today's higher life expectancies people are finding that they grow apart and fall out of love, obviously there is no point in those people staying together. A lot of people do stay together for the sake of the kids again if this is possible it is a good thing for society. Sometimes people grow to resent/hate the partner and then they need to get out.

Going out and finding easy eileen after easy eileen is seriously damaging for your health, not just the risk of sti's but it is damaging to your mental well being. Studies show this ,no backup links at the moment though.

However you seam to be making a fatal assumption. That Women in monagamous relationships are boring and not interested in sex where as Easy eileen will be a goddess in the sack. Wrong on both counts. It takes time for a partner to find out those little spots that make you shudder (and you to find theirs). An exclusive partner is also more like to want you to enjoy sex, and even if you lucky play out you fantasies. Easy Eileen just want's to get her rocks off, she doesn't care if you enjoy your self or not.

So to sum up . Exclusive relationships rock. Societies attitudes are reflecting this.

SparkyLarks

Social77 wrote:

Actually believe it or believe it not this is not a pisstake(hate that troll word more than i hate the word marriage).
To answer your point it is well documented that the number of marriages since the 80's in Irel;and has decreased while divorce statistics are rising each year.

Yes but what about when you factor in the number of long term couples who never marry.

Also add in the Homosexual men and women who would have married in the past, as this did happen alot, who are now in long term monagamous relationships, and would get married if they could.

As for divorce, what is the average age of divorcees??
What percentage of those would have died 30 years ago or 50 years ago.
Also divorce rates are of courrse rising as it is only recentaly availible inthis country, that coupled to the (3 or 5 year seperatin required of course the statistics will rise.

Also the age that people get married is rising which will cause a drop in the rate of marrages each year .

monkeyfudge

I like monogamy. The table in my sitting room is made out of it...

But if I wanted to give the mistress a good seeing to, it would be over the pine table in the kitchen.

Social77

Darkwing Duck wrote:

Social does have apoint in saying that a lot of human civilisation has practised polygamy, but that doesn't neccessarily make it right or wrong. Its all down to personal choice. I'm with my girlfriend three years now and perfectly happy to stay that way, whereas Social seems to want to use this post as a lure for any other polygamous people out there

It seems like you may have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about monogamy. There's no real right or wrong about it, its down to the two people in question, (or in Socials case the 10 or 15 people in question ) and how they feel about each other. If there's love and commitment there then it becomes a hell of a lot more than just sex and thats where monogamy inserts itself, not by force, but by a natural choice by two people

Ah at last some reasonable discussion and i wasnt even called an idiot.Praise the lord for Darkwing Duck!
I understand what your saying about monogamy becoming a natural choice between two people when loves involved.Of course it does but i do reckon that in the coming years and centuries this will occur less and less.To be honest i'm talking more about the continuing change in attitudes towards monogamy and i'm speculating that we are heading back towards a free for all society
Polygamy creates a clear social order, with distinct winners and losers. Let us look at how this works. A dominant male wins because he can reproduce with as many females as he can reasonably control. Thus, he can "spread his genes" far and wide, producing many more progeny than he would be able to do under a different sexual regime.

But low-status females are winners, too. This is because: 1) Even the lowest-status females get to mate; there are no "old maids" in a polygamous society. 2) Nearly all females get access to high-status males. Since there are no artificial limits on the number of mates a male can collect, all females can attach themselves to a few relatively desirable males.

Social77

monkeyfudge wrote:

I like monogamy. The table in my sitting room is made out of it...

But if I wanted to give the mistress a good seeing to, it would be over the pine table in the kitchen.

Good call monogamy tends to be condusive to splinters.Pine will make you shine.
by the way to keep on topic are you a lover of many or the lover of one

Beruthiel

Social77 wrote:

To sum up sleeping with boring betty for the next 50 years will seriously damage your health.For both your sakes,spread the love.

yup
I can see you now
still on the pull at age 87
good luck with that

Talliesin

Monogamy - good if you're the monogamous type.
Polyamoury - good if you're the polyamourous type.
Serial monogamy - good if you'r the serial monogamous type.
Open monogamy (one regular partner, but not restricted from having other sexual encounters) - good if you're the open monogamous type.
Swinging - good if you're the swinging type.
Lifelong celibacy - good if you're the celibate type.
No long-term relationships - good if you're the short-term-only type.

There isn't one true way to live your life. There isn't one true model for relationships. All of the above types of relationship and more can work if you are honest with yourself and your partner(s) about them. Being monogamous can be disasterous for some, but so can the other models if that's not what you are suited to.

bonkey

Social77 wrote:

It seems to me that we are gradually reverting back to our former selves

What former selves? Have you some proof that mankind isn't a naturally monogamistic creature?

Social 77 can tell you that throughout human history 80 per cent of human cultures have practiced some form of polygamy, and that monogamy is actually the exception and not the rule when it comes to natural human behavior

You can tell me all you like....but where are you getting the information from?

The sky rocketing divorce rate and the difficulty and stress most people encounter in monogamous marriage are also indicators that monogamy is not the natural human way of relating.

Thats logically incorrect (even ignoring that serial monogamy is still monogamy, and so divorce doesn't directly have any bearing).

If monogamy results in high divorce rates, and monogamy isn't our natural "state", then divorce rates should always have been high. The fact that they are sky-rocketing means that this is not the case, and so one has to conclude that your logic is flawed.

since group sex with multiple partners is the norm in the majority of human societies throughout history,

Again with the assertions. You could just as easily claim that besitality is the norm in the majority fo huiman societies throughout history too....and with the same quantity of evidence that you've provided (i.e. you say it is so) its just as credible.

To sum up sleeping with boring betty for the next 50 years will seriously damage your health.

What next? You'll be suggesting that because we've been a male-dominated species for most of our existence that we should put women back in their rightful place? Its probably "better for our health" too. Just look at all the statistics that show how life has gotten worse ever since we started this whole idea of sexual equality. (And...borrowing a leaf from yoru own book...) I can tell you its true.
jc

Social77

Beruthiel wrote:

yup
I can see you now
still on the pull at age 87
good luck with that

Hi Beruthial,

First off, whether a female is 18 or 80, the gig is still the same. If you're a 55-year-old divorced doctor and you meet an elegant 50-year-old divorcée at the country club, you're still going to have to say, "What's your home phone number?" By the same token, if you're a 19-year-old and you're three sheets to the wind at a college party, you're still going to have to ask that sexy sister, "Hey, what's your home phone number?"

The rules of the game never change.

Beruthiel

Social77 wrote:

The rules of the game never change.

couldn't agree more
don't think me back will be up to the challenge at that age though

Dades

For God's sake - think of the children.

No really. Who the heck is going to pay for all of them? Fine if you have the cash to run a harem, but if you don't you're going to simply have a lot of single mothers out there and a lot paternity cases.

Where do kids fit into your sexy utopia?

kittenkiller

Monogamy only works if you're with the right person & hold some sort of respect for them & what the two have together, whether that is your children, your marriage, your friendship, shared lust of a combination of all those things.

If you're with the wrong person for whom you have no respect or fond feelings, then monogamy is probably like some sort of deranged prison sentence.

Divorce rates don't prove jack about monogamy issues.
People have always had affairs in the past & especially in Ireland, the marriage 'survived'.
Marriages break up for all sorts of reasons, not just infedelity or the longing to be with many other people.

petes

Social77 wrote:

To be honest with an attitude like that you deserve celibacy as an option.Why are you so lazy that you cant read a post with more than 3 words.You belong in the unhappy birthday thread dundalk man. :rolleyes:

What I deserve and what I have are two differnt things.

monkeyfudge

Social77 wrote:

Good call monogamy tends to be condusive to splinters.Pine will make you shine.
by the way to keep on topic are you a lover of many or the lover of one

I govern my life with my intellect not with my penis.

Having sex alot really isn't a very important factor for me. I can see far more benefits in having a stable long running relationship. But I will concede the point that I'll probably find that things don't work anymore at some stage and want move on to something else... I certainly wouldn't see any point in mating for life, especially if you end up hating each other later on in life like my parents.

Zombrex

To me the cry that monogamy is unnatural is really just seems like an excuse to not feel guilty that they want to shag the baby sitter ... its BS to be honest, we as a species are so far beyond "natural" as to make the idea that we should still to slaves to our base instincts ridiculous. Our entire lives are based around social and cultural structures that, while having a basis in nature, have developed over thousands of years based on as much logic, emotion and higher brain functions as base primal instinct.

Or to put it another way, we are one of the few speices of animal on the planet that have sex for fun (dolphins are the other I think), which is a completely unnatural idea based on the rest of the animal kingdom. So, I would wonder how many people who want to follow their baser instincts would also say that while they will have loads of on going partners, they will no long have sex for fun only to produce offspring?

mycroft

Beruthiel wrote:

couldn't agree more
don't think me back will be up to the challenge at that age though

yoga will strengthen your back.



[aside] I wonder will she get it[/aside]

pickarooney

"strengthen your back, yoga will", no?

Far too many of our instincts have been sold to us as being wrong, immoral, counter-productive. When I think of people that I would consider succesful (definitions of this may vary wildly), they're invariably people who have followed their instincts to a large degree as opposed to people who've followed paths laid out for them.

For people who have truly fallen deeply, mutually, chronically in love, monogamy is the only instinct that matters. For people who have yet to realise what that means, monogamy tends to be more a case of following a social standard. Unless you're very lucky, you're unlikely to meet the X of your dreams, soul-mate or whatever you want to call it on the first attempt, but for all manner of reasons you choose to settle (in both senses), despite instincts telling you to keep looking, trying, testing.
I imagine for the vast majority of people, there is no instinct to be alone forever, yet it happens to so many.

Talliesin

pickarooney wrote:

For people who have truly fallen deeply, mutually, chronically in love, monogamy is the only instinct that matters.

I see no reason to believe that polyamourous relationships are built on less powerful feelings than monogamous ones.

pickarooney wrote:

For people who have yet to realise what that means, monogamy tends to be more a case of following a social standard.

While I agree that this happens, I disagree that this is true in general. Some people can only handle relationships if they are monogamous, and while arguably that is due to social conditioning that in turn comes from the position that monogamy has in our society, I don't think that commitment to monogamy is necessarily insincere.

Really, it depends on the people.

pickarooney

How does mutual polyamory* work? Even in a homosexual context it's hard to imagine multilaterally reciprocated feelings. I'm sure there are many many things possible outside the spheres of my imagination though.

*I meant to click the dictionary.com link to check that, but hit google images instead. Talk about NSFW!

Talliesin

pickarooney wrote:

How does mutual polyamory* work?

Even just among the few poly people I know or know of personally, it doesn't work in exactly the same way. The only common factor is that everyone involved is not bound to having no other sexual or romantic partners.

How much of their lives they share with their partners, whether their partners all live in the same part of the world, whether they actually do have other partners, rather than merely having the possibility of having another partner something that wouldn't be considered unfaithful, etc. varies.