The Cheapest Whore in Babylon

Kappar

The Cheapest Whore in Babylon

When you’re down; when you’re broken, take this advice from me, their future is tied to their history.

She spent her life in circles of Hell she’s a pretty girl; she got nothing but, she she’s got something to sell. Baby, will I take you to your dreams? I know the way; take my hand I’ll lead.

How do you do it? How can you be so cruel? Take her hand so softly and break her heart in two. When she dies, she’ll go to heaven because she spent her life in Hell.
You’ll miss her when she gone she’s the Cheapest Whore in Babylon.

She asks when they’ll get there. He says “wait and see- it ain't over ‘till it’s over- wait and see”. The pain in her eyes as her heart slowly dies as the walk to the end of the earth.
Then when one day as her hair turned grey he said “baby I’ll see you later”.

How do you do it? How can you be so cruel? Take her hand so softly and break her heart in two. When she dies, she’ll go to heaven because she spent her life in Hell.
You’ll miss her when she gone she’s the Cheapest Whore in Babylon.

The last look she took at her life as her wrist was cut by knife. As God looked down he took off his crown and put it on her head. He said “welcome back my dear”. She wasn’t too clear- he said “you were the last test for humanity”. Now it time to end the line for the ungrateful mass.

Legions of Angels with the wrath of God behind them ready to tear the Earth apart. The ungrateful looked “what have we done? We beg you please to stop this”. He said “I can’t- it’s not up to me so here she is now on your knees and say ‘Your Majesty please I am sorry for my sins’”

BEAT

this sounds like a song, did you write it yourself?

Kappar

Yeah it is/was a song as I was writing it I realised I know nothing about writing songs (Not that I know much about writing poems)

BEAT

no no not at all, it is quite good actually.
Love to see some more...nice work

supersheep

I like it, but I can't really comment on how good I think it is as a song until you make the line breaks a little clearer - it's hard to distinguish the rhythm. Unless you're going for that effect?

Kappar

Thanks a lot guys for the feedback. Em, I'd love to be able to break it up for you towards the rhythm but I'm not really sure how to do that. I can sing it the way I like it but not really sure how to translate this to written text.

BEAT

I think its fine the way it is, I knew it was a song right away and I can see the rythm there as well.
I could sing it myself,
I dont think it needs to be broken anywhere else tbh

Sarky

Kappar wrote:

Thanks a lot guys for the feedback. Em, I'd love to be able to break it up for you towards the rhythm but I'm not really sure how to do that. I can sing it the way I like it but not really sure how to translate this to written text.

You could always record it and attach the .wav file?