Opinion on cover letter

c - 13

Hi all, I was just wondering if I could get some feed back on the cover letter content below. I'm finished my college work experience soon and I've got to start looking for weekend work again. The letter is very basic at the moment because I suck at writing these sort of things.
Any feedback greatly appreciated.

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a student at XXXX currently studying for my XXXXXX degree. I am writing to enquire as to whether you may have any vacancies at the moment as I am interested in weekend and part-time work with your company.

As you can see from my CV I have several years experience in a retail environment and my customer service skills are above par. I would be interested in any position you may have to offer.

I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

Yours Sincerely,

At the moment i'm trying to keep it as non company specific as possible, at least until i decide who i'm going to try hassling for work.

newgrange

Just a small thing. I think the rule is if you have some idea of the person's name, it's 'Yours sincerely', and if you haven't an f'in clue of their name it's 'Yours faithfully'.

The letter seems fine to me.

mathie

c - 13 wrote:

I would be interested in any position you may have to offer.

Really? Any position?

Maybe you'd be interested in more information about roles they have to offer.

M

c - 13

newgrange wrote:

Just a small thing. I think the rule is if you have some idea of the person's name, it's 'Yours sincerely', and if you haven't an f'in clue of their name it's 'Yours faithfully'.

The letter seems fine to me.

Yeah I was kind of wondering about that actually. Thanks.

c - 13

mathie wrote:

Really? Any position?

Maybe you'd be interested in more information about roles they have to offer.

M

Well it is only until I finish this final year in college, so i'm not too fussy.

I have different cover letters done for certain jobs where i am applying for a certain role.

c - 13

newgrange wrote:

Just a small thing. I think the rule is if you have some idea of the person's name, it's 'Yours sincerely', and if you haven't an f'in clue of their name it's 'Yours faithfully'.

The letter seems fine to me.

Oh jesus i'm such a dumbass, i actually only got the whole bolded thing with the letters there, i should be brought out and shot ....

hshortt

Try to think like the employeer.

He/She wants to know that you are knowledgable about the company and it's products/services.

- Try to include something specifically related to them.

I think that you are selling yourself short in the opening by looking for "any vacancy", be more direct, if there's something you'd like to do then name it! Don't be afriad to shoot for the moon, at least if you miss you'll be among stars!

In the second paragraph, don't go asking them to read your CV. Take a few bullet points that are appropriate and put them right there in the cover letter, then invite them to peruse the rest of your CV.

Saying that your customer service skills are above par puts you into a box! This is because the 'standard' level of customer service offered by one company may be different to another. Be careful saying things like that, it might be more appropriate for the company you are writing to, to say things like, 'I have a full and complete understanding of your product and services and feel that my customer service skills will be an asset to you.'

I don't want you to treat my note as critical of you, I'm in full support of you getting out there and getting the experiences that will lead to better, long term employment. Aim high and good luck.

Cheerio
Howard

c - 13

hshortt wrote:

Try to think like the employeer.

He/She wants to know that you are knowledgable about the company and it's products/services.

- Try to include something specifically related to them.

I think that you are selling yourself short in the opening by looking for "any vacancy", be more direct, if there's something you'd like to do then name it! Don't be afriad to shoot for the moon, at least if you miss you'll be among stars!

In the second paragraph, don't go asking them to read your CV. Take a few bullet points that are appropriate and put them right there in the cover letter, then invite them to peruse the rest of your CV.

Saying that your customer service skills are above par puts you into a box! This is because the 'standard' level of customer service offered by one company may be different to another. Be careful saying things like that, it might be more appropriate for the company you are writing to, to say things like, 'I have a full and complete understanding of your product and services and feel that my customer service skills will be an asset to you.'

I don't want you to treat my note as critical of you, I'm in full support of you getting out there and getting the experiences that will lead to better, long term employment. Aim high and good luck.

Cheerio
Howard

Good call.

Thanks everyone, I think I have what I need now. Ill just get that changed and to the company's as soon as possible.

Thanks again.