Pillowhugger

ExOffender

Watch the cripple put
One foot
In front of the other
...
(he gets it from his mother)
See hands wringing, face flush
No pull, and sure no push
See him sweat as he strains
To slip loose the chains
Inextricably entwined
With half-remembered growing pains.
Mute Mercutio
Clubfoot Colossus
Stores up guilt and cry-confesses
Buries love and then forgets it
Tries to stand and soon regrets it.
He loves his pain
- as he was trained -
Reveres his fear
Counts every tear.
He pouting sighs, he plays his song
Imagines he has been done wrong
Has lain quite still for far too long
When he should move
What does he prove?
In midnight courts
That no-one hears
He argues torts
To absent peers
Judge and jury all in one
No execution.
Nothing done.
Just locution.
Just for fun.
He grins his lies
He meets their eyes
They see through everything he tries
He has guilty dreams
So his conscience is eased
And he ambles around like a cured disease
And he squirms like a dog scratching at fleas
When he feels the need to please
Oh, please.
Someday, to stand, to walk, and even run!
It can be done.
It can be done
Just as easy as
One foot
In front of the other.


tbh this is really something that should be recited. There's too many changes in voice, and I doubt I communicated the sarcasm/bitterness/mockery effectively enough for it to come across just on paper. I'm quite proud of this though.

carpothepunk

mate,this is truly a moving piece

congratulations

ExOffender

Cheers.

Fysh

I think this works really well. The rhythm changes and skips occasionally but in a good way - it feels very deliberate and, combined with the wordplay, adds to the piece. I agree that it is very much a recital piece, but I tend to read poetry as if I were reciting it anyway so I don't think it's a problem.

Kudos for a fine piece of writing